I want to kill myself

[aleon515]

Nothing to be embarrassed about man. We've all been there to one extent or another. Glad you reached out actually.  Hang in there as you might be a happy man someday.

--Jay J

[Epi]

Hi everyone...

I'm so sorry I disappeared, I'm bad at stuff like this and I feel so embarrassed and ashamed for feeling suicidal. Reading posts, it's so sad that at one point or another we've all felt this way, it makes me hate the world but seeing the support everyone gives to one a other is encouraging. Thank you.

I'm glad to hear you're doing better.  You also have absolutely nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about.  It takes a lot to reach out for support and help, but personally, I am a firm believer than if someone has the strength to do that that they should receive all necessary help and support.

[nicks]

Thanks everyone, again thanks so much.

I saw my psychologist last week. I stopped seeing her in 2009, so she hasn't seen me since my voice has proper broke and I've got the facial hair and all that jazz...it was good to see her again. I had so much to talk about I was a bit all over the place. I won't be seeing her again until next week, I had all four wisdom teeth taken out yesterday so I'll be recovering. I look like I shoved two tennis balls in my mouth my cheeks are that swollen.

I am feeling better still, and will keep fighting. I want to start living my life, and hopefully once I've had my phallo I can start doing that. I can't even go out to public places for fear of using the bathroom. I hate public bathrooms and always have, but I get paranoid that people might hear me "tinkle". Ridiculous, I know. Nobody will be listening to me using the bathroom, how weird would that be.

I would like to say to anyone who is feeling like I have been, message me. I have recieved overwhelming support but haven't been able to offer any in return and I'd like too. Sometimes it's nice to just blurt everything out and have someone to listen and nod their head (or *nod their head* in cyberspace).

[AdamMLP]

Would using an STP help tide you over until you get your phallo or do they not work for you?  It might solve some of the problem of thinking that people will hear how you're peeing.  I don't think it's that uncommon for guys to pee in the stalls, but there is a very, very slight difference in the sound it makes standing up compared to sitting down, not that anyone would pay that much attention to it.  I would guess that guys probably don't realise it sounds slightly different.  The only scenario I could imagine for people listening to others using the bathroom would be if, like me, you want to make sure no one else is in there before you get the hell out of there!

I know someone who had their wisdom teeth taken out earlier this week, and they're no too happy about it to say the least!  Although straight after she asked if she could get a big mac, but ended up having to rip a happy meal up into tiny shreds   Apart from the teeth it's good to hear you're getting on the right track and that you got lucky with your therapist; she seems like a real human being!