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Prayer Request for the Disowned

Started by Constance, October 21, 2012, 09:34:06 PM

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Constance

It is with great trepidation that I post this. Let's keep this upscale, and not attack the person. Let's try to have a civil conversation about this.

I saw the following prayer request on Facebook.

Quote
Please keep in prayers a young 18 year old man who was just kicked out of his house for being gay. He approached us at church needing help.

Many homeless shelters here really give gay men a hard time and it was a challenge finding shelter for him.
Though this is a prayer request, it seems to me that there's more to it than that. This is the exact sort of thing that Ann Coulter "joked" about with her National Disown Your Son Day statement.

Again, let's keep this upscale, and no personal attacks.

A friend of mine from high school will never be more than 18 years old. Why? Because he was disowned after coming out. His father's rejection hurt him so deeply, my friend killed himself. Not a day goes by when I don't think of PJ, and he died in 1988. The fact of the matter is that disowning one's kids can be lethal.

How can people actually joke about something like this, especially people who have made comments regarding how great Christianity is? The idea of National Disown Your Son Day isn't remotely funny. Not to me, at least. It doesn't even strike me as satirical. It strikes me as downright anti-Christian.

I don't understand, and maybe that's a good thing. I'm afraid that if I could understand why this could be funny, I'd lose part of my humanity as a result. Many of us who've come out have faced the possibility of being disowned. Yeah, it's a barrell of laughs. I wasn't disowned, though at 43 years old I don't need my parents' support at this point. If was written out of the will, it wouldn't have mattered to me.

But, it does matter a great deal to others. If their own parents can't accept them and pundits joke about their plights while at the same time extolling the virtues of Christianity, where is the Good News in all of this? There are times when I feel my prayers are little more than well-wishing from a distance. The odds stacked against us in the trans and queer communities seem so great. I feel like I should ask how we as members of these communities can let such "jokes" be told unchallenged.

What is the Christian response to such hate?

tekla

Don't know about that, but I'll be happy to give you the rational response. 

God is a concept
By which we measure
Our pain
I'll say it again
God is a concept
By which we measure
Our pain
I don't believe in magic
I don't believe in I-ching
I don't believe in Bible
I don't believe in tarot
I don't believe in Hitler
I don't believe in Jesus
I don't believe in Kennedy
Í don't believe in Buddha
I don't believe in Mantra
I don't believe in gita
I don't believe in yoga
I don't believe in kings
I don't believe in Elvis
I don't believe in Zimmerman
I don't believe in Beatles
I just believe in me
Yoko and me
And that's reality


- John Lennon "God"

"Praying" for someone who was hurt by a "Church" seems beyond, well beyond reason.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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~RoadToTrista~

I don't think it's ever acceptable for a parent to disown their child, for any reason. If someone chooses to have children then they should be capable of loving them unconditionally, and try to help them in whatever way they see fit. Never disown them, that's just disgusting.
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V M

I can't really speak from the religious viewpoint either because I'm not particularly a religious individual, however, I can speak from a humanitarian point of view

I also have lost friends to suicide because they either felt unaccepted and/or disowned by their parents or society at large

These friends are often in my thoughts and they are often the people who detour me away from joining them when I am at the edge

I feel that I need to stay strong and survive to honor them and others who have been lost to such a tragedy
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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tekla

And this kid, they don't need prayer.  They need shelter, food and a way to make their way in the world.  No one ever died from lack of prayers, but they do suffer and die because they don't have a place that's warm and dry, or because don't eat enough.  And at this juncture - as much as everyone might decry the parents action - the kids future depends on getting on with getting on.

Remember when everyone scared Lucifer the Almighty Prince of Darkness by wearing plastic bracelets with WWJD on them?  Me either, but I do remember the bracelets.  So... WWJD?

He's tell the kid, 'come on in, I have an extra room, or a couch, or even a space on the floor that's at least warm and dry and has access to basic sanitation'.  Jesus wouldn't say "hey kid, let's pray for some food for you."  He'd give him half his sandwich.  He tell the kid, 'Well a bunch of my homeboys fish down on the Sea of Galilee, and first thing in the morning we'll go down there an I'll hook you up with them.  They are a bit rough and tumble, but they are good guys, loyal as hell, hardworking, and they owe me a favor or two.  It might not be the best life, but at least you won't starve.'

I know that because he himself said it. 

For I was hungry, and you gave me to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave me to drink; I was a stranger, and you took me in:  Naked, and you covered me: sick, and you visited me: I was in prison, and you came to me.  Then shall the just answer him, saying: Lord, when did we see thee hungry, and fed thee; thirsty, and gave thee drink?  And when did we see thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and covered thee?  Or when did we see thee sick or in prison, and came to thee?  And the king answering, shall say to them: Amen I say to you, as long as you did it to one of these my least brethren, you did it to me.

Not a word about praying.  Nope.  It's about doing.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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V M

#5
Again, let's keep this upscale, and no personal attacks.

Let's adhere to this request

If you have an issue with someone, please use the report to moderator option in the lower right
The main things to remember in life are Love, Kindness, Understanding and Respect - Always make forward progress

Superficial fanny kissing friends are a dime a dozen, a TRUE FRIEND however is PRICELESS


- V M
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big kim

I have no kids but I couldn't disown one.It's wrong
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SarahM777

#7
Quote from: Constance on October 21, 2012, 09:34:06 PM

How can people actually joke about something like this, especially people who have made comments regarding how great Christianity is? The idea of National Disown Your Son Day isn't remotely funny. Not to me, at least. It doesn't even strike me as satirical. It strikes me as downright anti-Christian.


You are right. It's not funny,nor if one takes to heart what Jesus said and did it's a far cry from that.

Quote from: Constance on October 21, 2012, 09:34:06 PM

I don't understand, and maybe that's a good thing. I'm afraid that if I could understand why this could be funny, I'd lose part of my humanity as a result. Many of us who've come out have faced the possibility of being disowned. Yeah, it's a barrell of laughs. I wasn't disowned, though at 43 years old I don't need my parents' support at this point. If was written out of the will, it wouldn't have mattered to me.


No it's not a barrel of laughs. I was fortunate that my mom stepped in otherwise my father would have done so.

The kicker is can the one who has been rejected then turn the other cheek,and show the person who rejected them the love that Christ has for them?

Quote from: Constance on October 21, 2012, 09:34:06 PM

But, it does matter a great deal to others. If their own parents can't accept them and pundits joke about their plights while at the same time extolling the virtues of Christianity, where is the Good News in all of this? There are times when I feel my prayers are little more than well-wishing from a distance. The odds stacked against us in the trans and queer communities seem so great. I feel like I should ask how we as members of these communities can let such "jokes" be told unchallenged.


It's not there. Jesus came to seek and save,give sight to the blind,make the lame to walk,heal the sick,make the deaf to hear,and set the captives free. He showed compassion.

Don't give up the prayers,we do not always know the outcome. If I ever start wondering if prayers are answered I keep getting reminded of one major answer that I could do nothing about.
In 1991 a man was arrested for major crimes,including necrophilia,cannibalism and murder. I never met the man. It was laid on my heart to pray for him. I really had to struggle with that. As his trail was going forward the Lord told me that he was going to become a Christian,during that time one of the ladies I worked with was disgusted with him,I told her that I was told that he was going to become a Christian. He was convicted for 957 years. After he was sentenced and sent to prison he did repent and was baptized. Who was this man? It was Jeffrey Dahmer. So does God answer prayer?

Quote from: Constance on October 21, 2012, 09:34:06 PM

What is the Christian response to such hate?

It should be the same as when Jesus spoke out against the Pharisees and their hypocrisy. Do we even rebuke our friends when they put down anybody? Do we ignore the "funny looking person",do we make fun of the person that stutters,do we talk to the person that doesn't "dress right",do we befriend the person that's shunned at work? Are any of them any less of the least of these that Jesus speaks of? Speaking out is only half of it,the other half is going against the flow and acting on it. What good does it do to only speak if there are actions to back it up?

Answers are easy. It's asking the right questions which is hard.

Be positive in the fact that there is always one person in a worse situation then you.

The Fourth Doctor
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Constance

Since this 18-yo is on the other side of the country from me, there is little I can do (it seems) than pray. I know the person who made the prayer request is working to get him shelter. So, she's doing more than just praying.

Quote from: SarahM777 on October 22, 2012, 05:23:52 AM
It should be the same as when Jesus spoke out against the Pharisees and their hypocrisy. Do we even rebuke our friends when they put down anybody? Do we ignore the "funny looking person",do we make fun of the person that stutters,do we talk to the person that doesn't "dress right",do we befriend the person that's shunned at work? Are any of them any less of the least of these that Jesus speaks of? Speaking out is only half of it,the other half is going against the flow and acting on it. What good does it do to only speak if there are actions to back it up?
Good points, Sarah.

SarahM777

#9
Quote from: Constance on October 22, 2012, 09:58:25 AM
Since this 18-yo is on the other side of the country from me, there is little I can do (it seems) than pray. I know the person who made the prayer request is working to get him shelter. So, she's doing more than just praying.
Good points, Sarah.

Constance,

Sometimes that is all we are able to do.  :'(

The 18-yo is going to have to be kept in prayer for a long time. Just getting shelter is only the tip of the iceberg. There is a whole lot of hurt and pain that will take time to be healed and going to need a lot of tenderness and compassion.  And a safe place to go.  The one looking for the place needs wisdom and endurance to see it through. I may not know who but I too can keep this in my prayers also.

The toughest one to pray for is the father,that his heart may be softened to see his young adult through a heart of love and not condemnation.

Answers are easy. It's asking the right questions which is hard.

Be positive in the fact that there is always one person in a worse situation then you.

The Fourth Doctor
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Constance

Quote from: SarahM777 on October 22, 2012, 10:44:58 AM
The toughest one to pray for is the father,that his heart may be softened to see his young adult through a heart of love and not condemnation.
Yeah, that's the tricky part. And also praying for those who can joke about things like this.

tekla

It was Jeffrey Dahmer. So does God answer prayer?

Well I can give you a list of 17 names who I'm sure were crying out to God in unimaginable terror who's prayers didn't get answered.  Perhaps the lord was busy on those days.  Yeah, yeah, I know, the lord works in mysterious ways.

Or was god answering a whole lot of people's prayers when he sent Christopher Scarver to beat Dahmer to death with a broom handle?  Again, he moves in mysterious ways.

You know Ted Bundy repented and gave his life to God before he was executed too.  And if heaven means I'm going to be hanging out with Dahmer and Bundy how bad could hell really be?
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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SarahM777

Quote from: Constance on October 22, 2012, 01:44:49 PM
Yeah, that's the tricky part. And also praying for those who can joke about things like this.

There are some other unanswered questions,is that person still in high school? It does happen that some will be in high school till they are 19 and that will complicate some things. If the person is out of high school then there are other realities. It's hard to know but all we can do is the best we can.
Answers are easy. It's asking the right questions which is hard.

Be positive in the fact that there is always one person in a worse situation then you.

The Fourth Doctor
  •  

SarahM777

Quote from: tekla on October 22, 2012, 01:55:42 PM
It was Jeffrey Dahmer. So does God answer prayer?

Well I can give you a list of 17 names who I'm sure were crying out to God in unimaginable terror who's prayers didn't get answered.  Perhaps the lord was busy on those days.  Yeah, yeah, I know, the lord works in mysterious ways.

Or was god answering a whole lot of people's prayers when he sent Christopher Scarver to beat Dahmer to death with a broom handle?  Again, he moves in mysterious ways.

You know Ted Bundy repented and gave his life to God before he was executed too.  And if heaven means I'm going to be hanging out with Dahmer and Bundy how bad could hell really be?

Ask Him.
Answers are easy. It's asking the right questions which is hard.

Be positive in the fact that there is always one person in a worse situation then you.

The Fourth Doctor
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tekla

He's omniscient, so he knows my phone number, he can call if he's up to it.
FIGHT APATHY!, or don't...
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SarahM777

He has been calling you (Though not on the phone)
Answers are easy. It's asking the right questions which is hard.

Be positive in the fact that there is always one person in a worse situation then you.

The Fourth Doctor
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Padma

Locking this topic at the OP's request.
Womandrogyne™
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Padma

Womandrogyne™
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