how do you start

[staceyanne]

i think that i have been lucky so far that i have many friends that are being very supportive in my looking to transition fully. but what has me worried is my immediate family. i think that my mom might understand it but i have a few doubts about it because she was brought up very traditional way.my dad passed on a number of years ago now so that just leaves my two brothers. my older brother is in texas and has only limited amounts of contact. which could be both a good or bad thing. a big problem is my younger brother who exploded when he found out about my spiritual preferences,( i have happily followed the traditions of the native americans that have been shared with me.)he has a strong amount of influence with my mom so i am worried that if he decides to cause trouble. it could tturn into a really ugly scenario which is something i would prefer to avoid if at all possible.suggestions would be appreciated
                                                                 thanks and blessings
                                                                       stacey anne

[Ms Bev]

Stacey,
Coming out is the hardest thing I've ever done, the first time.  After that, I found out it didn't kill me, and those who love me still do.  That's me.  Now, about other people I've talked to....they've lost wives, husbands, brothers, sisters, mothers, fathers, churches, employers.......it ain't easy, girl.
Every time you come out to someone, it's different, and you never know how they will respond.  All I know is, you have to do what is in your own best interest, that will make you happy, healthy, and alive.
Look into coming out letters.  Maybe that's a good way, or at least it will give you the right things to say in person.

I feel for ya hon,

Bev

[Krisstina]

It is very hard to read a paragraph or two then give advise of such serious and difficult problems like coming out to your family. But from what I read you might try coming out to your mother in confidence before you come out to your little brother. Maybe you can get her educated and sympathetic to your situation before he can react. 

I wish you lots of luck and hope all turns out well


Kristina.

[Ms.Behavin]

Like Bev said, Every Time is different.  I just came out to my teen children last weekend.  I was prepaired for the worst, but got the best, so you just never know.  Those who really love you will love you after.  I've been pretty lucky as the majority of the people I know, I still count as friends.  I still need to tell my brother, but we are not close at all, so it's no big loss if it goes poorly there.  I was always more then a bit different from him.

Take it one step at a time.  I found that I knew when it was time just by listening to my own thoughts.

Take care, we all go through this

Beni

[gothique11]

Coming out can be very difficult -- and you can lose a lot of stuff, even friends and family. But it's also worth it.

In my own experience, my brother didn't talk to me for 8 months. My mom was okay with it shortly after I came out. My dad and step mom say they are okay, but don't really talk to me much and they haven't seen me in a year! My grandparents don't like it and don't talk to me (my grandpa has talked to me twice, each time to tell me how disappointed he is, etc).

As for friends, I had few issues and I was quite accepted (but then again, I hang out with people in the alternative category, where everyone has something about them -- they were the most supportive. I'd walk into the clubs and get piles of hugs! And I still do!)

I didn't have a problem with jobs or anything like that.

It wasn't easy -- in fact, two weeks into my full-time I was interviewed on TV (not about my transition, but something else, but I was interviewed as myself, Natalie).

In the end I didn't find coming out was as scary as I thought it would be -- it wasn't easy, but it wasn't as bad as my fears led me to think.

I'm very glad that I came out -- it was the best decision I have ever made and I'm now happy. I'm happier than I've ever been in my life. I live as who I am unapologetically. I'm proud of myself that I took this step to be who I really am. I'm such a better and happier person now, it's amazing! I gained so much, and it was totally worth it.

I hope that my other family members come around, and I think they will. It took my brother 8 months, but he's come around and seen how much happier I am and has started to realize that this has been a good, positive thing for me.