Finding a new purpose . . .

[Lisbeth]

This is something that I discussed with my therapist recently. When I do become a woman and or start living full time, will my purpose in life be changed. Has this happened  to anyone else when they started and how has it changed your life?

This whole question has several areas of concern to me.  The obvious problem of having a purpose in life beyond GRS is only the first one.  Of course, if GRS is the only goal you have in life and you do get there, there has to be a huge let-down.  And I'm glad you and your therapist are talking about this.

But in addition, you will suddenly find yourself with no more "need" for therapy.  The SoC calls for all this monitoring up through surgery, and suddenly that requirement is gone.  Are you ready for not having that person there to talk to?  Will you continue in therapy after it is no longer required of you?

And then there's the "stealth" question.  Maybe you go stealth.  Maybe you don't.  But either way, you suddenly have a harder time relating to what people in your TG support group are going through, because you're not at that place in your journey anymore.  At this point there are alot of people who drop out and disappear from the TG community.  What happens to you when you don't have and can't relate to that support system anymore?

This all spells "personal crisis" to me, and I don't know what to do about it.

[Seshatneferw]

Funny thing, Lisbet: what you describe is very much like what I've seen happen to some people after they get their doctorate. No more formal supervision, difficulties to relate to the problems of the old peer group of grad students, crisis about the next set of goals, and so forth.

The standard answer, trite as it is, is to get on with one's life. This may be difficult, if the previous goal left little room for other goals, so the next answer is to try to prepare for the event in advance, and make sure there are other things going on besides the transition process. Fortunately, for most people this is true, so it's more a matter of getting a bit more room for manoeuvre after a major stress point has been removed.

[SusanK]

This is something that I discussed with my therapist recently. When I do become a woman and or start living full time, will my purpose in life be changed. Has this happened  to anyone else when they started and how has it changed your life?

Gina

What kind of life do you have now? A transistion will change some (obvious) aspects of your life, but why should it change your life goals, plans and interests. Granted many have to change careers because of their transistion, but it's something you should keep in mind, not to get to the end of it and sit there to ask yourself, "Gee, what do I do now?"

My therapist would likely respond, "It's a little late for that, don't you think?"  This is partly tongue in cheek  because my therapist and physician agree that a transistion has to fit into your life so you just continue with your life when you've finished. They keep asking about their patient's life and interests to ensure the transistion isn't the one and only thing in their life.

Reading life stories of transpeople, their transistion did change their direction and interests in life, but it was more part of the whole and part of the realization of effects of their transistion in themselves. Either way, they didn't wait, they keep focusing on their whole life and incorporating their transistion and changes into the new life.

Just my thoughts. Good luck.

--Susan--

[gina_taylor]

Hey Terri,

It has been a while since we've talked. How have you been?

Things have changed so much for me in the last year, and after reading all of the replies to this post, I have got a much better understanding of  my purpose when I start and go into my transition. I will keep in mind what you've said as well.

Thanks to all

Gina 

[Lisbeth]

Funny thing, Lisbet: what you describe is very much like what I've seen happen to some people after they get their doctorate. No more formal supervision, difficulties to relate to the problems of the old peer group of grad students, crisis about the next set of goals, and so forth.

A good point.  Maybe that's one of the real functions of professional associations.  I wonder if there's a way to do something like that for post-op people...

[gina_taylor]

What kind of life do you have now? A transistion will change some (obvious) aspects of your life, but why should it change your life goals, plans and interests. Granted many have to change careers because of their transistion, but it's something you should keep in mind, not to get to the end of it and sit there to ask yourself, "Gee, what do I do now?"

My therapist would likely respond, "It's a little late for that, don't you think?"  This is partly tongue in cheek  because my therapist and physician agree that a transistion has to fit into your life so you just continue with your life when you've finished. They keep asking about their patient's life and interests to ensure the transistion isn't the one and only thing in their life.

Reading life stories of transpeople, their transistion did change their direction and interests in life, but it was more part of the whole and part of the realization of effects of their transistion in themselves. Either way, they didn't wait, they keep focusing on their whole life and incorporating their transistion and changes into the new life.

Just my thoughts. Good luck.

--Susan--
[/quote]

Very good points you've made Susan. I realize that my current occupation will change when I become a woman. I am an aluminum installer and my boss has  told me that it was never her intent for a woman to do a man's job. Interesting point about losing touch with my therapist after I've had my SRS done. On the contrary, I've never considered having SRS done, but still I do see my therapist for other issues.

Gina