What exactly is gender?

[Kevin Peña]

Ok, I have been thinking a lot lately (3 hours of sleep per night, so I run out of things to do  ).

I remember being asked once, "Why do you want to be a girl?" when I came out to one of my friends. The obvious answer is, "I want to find peace and the only way I can be me is if I am a girl."

However, after delving further into the matter, I asked myself (yes, I talk to myself), "What exactly is a girl?" I know I prefer female clothing and that I want to be someone's girlfriend, not boyfriend (let's just admit that there's a huge difference in those dynamics), but I still can't pinpoint exactly what a girl is. The usual trans answer of "I want to be me" to the question "Why do you want to transition?" is just the source of more thought for me.

So without generic answers like the above, why exactly do you want to transition? What is a male//female? What specific things are you looking forward to that would be impossible without transition?

Discuss.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

I have always found the female form to be a perfection.  The male form is ugly.  And when I look upon my form I can see the perfection underneath the ugly form.

My mind knows that the present form is not what it was meant to be housed in.  I know I should have been born a girl.

I look forward to looking upon mt body and finally seeing the form I was meant to have.  My mind is already female, the body just need to follow suit.  Without transition I would be stuck in a form I can not tolerate any longer.

[Maddie]

"Girl" is a label. When I say that I am a girl, I mean that it fits me better than the "boy" label. Labels are so silly.

I also have a label that says I'm British. Means nothing to me. If anything, I'm English, and more to the point, I'm artisan class South London, grammar school, anarchist, aspiring rationalist, and a bunch of other things that completely cut me off from the stereotypical "British public". More silly labels.

In truth, I'm an exotic collection of particles and waves, purpose to be determined by myself.

So why do I see myself as a "girl"? It's a stereotype not of my own making. I don't really see myself as human, so I should not logically identify as part of a subset.

Maybe it's not a subset.

Maybe there is some kind of polarity, some Yin/Yang, in this mathematical construct. Maybe that's why I feel the balance is off. If the Taoists are right, and they usually are, why else would I be engaging in their internal alchemy, the tajitu represents a real dynamic force. Not blinded by the one external image, tapping into the internal one stimulates synaptic development allowing for better exploration of the phenomenon. Ah yes, I reckon that's why.

"Girl" is my label for the tension at the core of my vortex.

[eli77]

So without generic answers like the above, why exactly [did] you want to transition?

Because my body hurt. Because it felt so wrong that I wanted to die most of the time. Because I felt like I was lying to everyone around me in horrible ways. Because I felt like I was being not-me.

What is a male//female?

Approximate social categories of bodies. My self-perception and the perception of my society makes "female" the more reasonable option of the two.

What specific things [did] you [look] forward to that would [have been] impossible without transition?

Breathing.

"Why do you want to be a girl?" / "What exactly is a girl?"

I don't really know how to answer these. I'm not sure that "girl" is ever a thing I wanted, at least not in the way other people talk about it. I wanted my body to not be broken. "Girl," for me, was just a way of expressing the way my body should be. Then when I worked things the right way round, "girl" became the social category that I was invariably assigned to as a result of my altered form. I'm... a girl by default. Or something.

What exactly is gender?

Insufficient data is available to answer that question with any degree of confidence. There are various theories that include genetic, biological, psychological, environmental, social and cultural factors. The most likely possibility is a complex and interacting mixture of most of those.

But hurt is a thing. Where it came from is infinitely less important to me than how to make it stop.

I'm agnostic about gender.

[Kevin Peña]

Insufficient data is available to answer that question with any degree of confidence. There are various theories that include genetic, biological, psychological, environmental, social and cultural factors. The most likely possibility is a complex and interacting mixture of most of those.

Ok, as a science geek, I can say that that was the best possible sentence I could have heard. Plus, I agree with most of your statements.

[muffinpants]

Gender is nothing more than a social construct, though I can understand wanting and not wanting to be one or the other. In our society certain benefits and challenges come with sticking to a certain role, and it really just comes down to personal preference. In my experience, I've noticed that girls get more variety in their stylistic choices, they are allowed emotional outbursts, they are taken care of and looked out for, but in return it seems as if most people don't give them respect or they don't take them seriously.. Men are taken more seriously and are normally given more respect.. they are the provider, the big strong man that will take care of everything. It's a big responsibility, but boys are told when they're young that it is their job and they should like doing it. They can't be as emotional or expressive though.. which is better? Idk, it's up to you to chose which you'd like to be treated as. But hey, I didn't get raised as a male, so I don't really know from experience how that goes down, I take this from conversations and observations. meh.

[peky]

Medically:

a male bears a XY chromosomal complement, reproductive organs are external, lacks functional mammary glands

a female bears the XX chromosomal complement, reproductive organs internal, carries on internally with the development of the fertilized egg. Has functional mammary glands (breast) for lactation of progeny.

Gender identity: the innate self perception of being male or female (in between, alternating, or neither)

Gender roles: roles ascribed to each gender by a society, culture, or religious

Sexual orientation: the innate attraction to people of the opposite sexes, same sex, both sexes (may alternate, or not exists)

Dr. Peky

[Kevin Peña]

Because I couldn't have read that first part in my biology textbook. 

Still, much appreciated, everyone.

[justmeinoz]

Beyond our core identity of whether we know which gender we are, it really is a social construct that has varied over time.  All we can say is that at a particular time and place it meant a particular thing.
There have been, and are, plenty of cultures that do not view gender as a dichotomous male/female choice.

Karen.