Telling Friends

[Lady Autumn]

I spoke to one of my friends a little while ago. I asked her what she would do if I told her I was a woman. She said she would cry. She said she wouldn't hate me but would be upset that she wouldn't have her Dougie any more!

Also there is another trans-girl in our group of friends and she gets made fun of a lot. They say she doesn't make any effort to look female and refuse to use feminine pronouns until she has "the surgery." This is particularly pressuring as I do not want to have GRS.

Despite there views I love these people and would be heartbroken without them. I don't want to hear "there not worth it" or "If they can't accept you leave them." I want to know how to tell them and how to explain it properly.

[Tristan]

you set the tone. tell them in a nice/mean way to respect you. its how it works in girl world sometimes. you can do it hun.

[Felix]

"The surgery" is a phrase I hear entirely too often. I know it's not the same for ftm as mtf, but still there's a fundamental lack of understanding when a person insists on certain medical procedures before they will accept your identity. It sounds a little frustrating and scary.

I've learned that the less said the better. Like, tell them who you are now and give them cues how to take it, but not too many details about your own feelings (at least not at first). They'll be uncertain and if you set the tone they'll likely follow.

[Padma]

If you don't like the way they're treating trans folk, and they're your friends, then tell them how you feel about it.