Women come in all shapes and sizes, once I realised this I was much happier about my transition.
I was always worried about my shoulders being too broad, my chest being too wide, etc. just like you, but fortunately I wasn't suicidal but it did make me depressed to think about it .
The best advice I can give you is just work on being healthy, eat properly, do some exercise and do some searches online for women that have similar proportions to you (they exist! lots of models that are taller and broader!), you can fix your proportions to some extent by gaining some weight, which will give you muscle and fat in the right areas (especially if your on HRT) and work out.
If you want bigger hips/backside, work on your gluts, do some leg curls, incline running, reverse lunges/hops. But whatever you do, DON'T do any mid section work, avoid crunches for example, spot reduction is a myth it only reinforces the muscles that are there and does nothing for the fat! The trick is to lose weight till you reach a good body fat % (called cutting) and then gain weight again by eating excess calories (while still working out) so you can gain muscle and fat in the places that are being worked on (called bulking). And in a few months, you'll have much more fleshed out proportions!
If you want to lose muscle, the trick is to do HIIT (high intensity interval training) especially before breakfast, this gets you catabolic and will cause your body to burn muscle instead of fat, just try to stick to a healthy BMI range and then bulk again to go back to a normal weight and put on fat/muscle in the areas you want it.
I got out of my self loathing spiral by just focusing on what I can improve and thinking about my life after transition. Good luck, I hope this helps.
