A Convo with the Other Connie

[Constance]

There was already a woman at work named Connie when I went full time. Technically, my name is Constance, but most people call me Connie. And the Other Connie has been one of my greatest supporters in the office.

She gave me a ride to and from a farewell dinner for another coworker. During the ride home, she mentioned that at first she was angry with me for transitioning because I had been a man at the height of his career power and that I gave all that up to transition.

I really wasn't sure how to react to that so I just said, "Oh."

She went on to say that she got over it. I also know that she feels her field (accounting/finance) is largely a male-dominated field and that she's endured a lot of misogyny during her career.

Still, I was caught off guard by her admission. It's good to know she doesn't harbor any ill will towards me, though.

[justmeinoz]

Nice to know that there is likely to be someone who you can form a girls alliance with.

[suzifrommd]

Definitely something that comes up with some of my female friends - that transition will mean giving up male privilege. It's a good point, but I've always felt uncomfortable taking advantage of it anyway, even before I was aware of being transgender. I mean why should the shape of my body at birth determine what privilege I'm entitled to?

That being said, I can understand someone who's been chafing on the other side to see someone who's had it be so eager to give it up.

The reality is that people treat people different because of their perceived gender even as they all deny they do it.

I agree with Karen, it's nice she trusted you enough to tell you about all this.

[Constance]

Yeah, the amount of trust that Connie showed me is really cool.

And the whole concept of privilege is mind-boggling to me.