Relationships as a MTF?

[leareed]

So I was wondering about the relationship part of transitioning.
I know many of us have our significant others but for those who don't I know it can be a challenging obstacle to overcome and understand, such as "Will they understand?" or "What sexual orientation does that make them? or me?" but I think we all have as much a chance for anyone to be in a healthy relationship!  I was seriously doubting this too until recently...

I actually went on a date last night with a really nice guy (He's hetero mind you) and it went so well.  We even held hands!  The best thing is that he knows I'm transitioning and he's fine with it!  But of course there's always going to be bumps in the road, like my next obstacle is that he wants to take me to meet his family (A mom, dad and three brothers who are all very Southern) and so now I'm like wondering HOW I'm going to pull this off.  But I guess the point is that if any of you feel like you can't get someone to love, you CAN! It just might not happen as fast as you want but it will happen.

[ToriJo]

Congrats!

I know not all men would date someone who is transitioning, but I know that there are people out there who see people as they are - and the heterosexual men in that group certainly could love a woman (trans or not).  The others are restricting themselves at their own peril.  It's hard enough to find someone without bigotry eliminating potential partners!  So congrats on finding what sounds like a decent guy.

I'm sending good thoughts your way regarding the family!

[justmeinoz]

Congratulations darl.

If he is comfortable with you being trans, then he seems to think it could go okay with the family.  And that in itself is a great sign.

Karen.

[spacial]

Seems to be, the possible outcomes are:

1. Who's this yankie girl who thinks she's good enough for our precious son of the south?

2. I really hope she likes me/us. Better get the house cleaned, no wait, painted, no wait, new furnature, no wait, new house. He'll never forgive me if she takes one look and storms off because we're not good enough for her.

3. I'm gonna open my arms, tell her to call me momma/pappa and treat her like my own daughter.

4. Oh, junior is bringing home a young lady. That'll be nice. Wonder if he's got that hair cut yet? Boys! Oh well, I'll do some shopping.

[leareed]

Ah, you guys are awesome!  He drove me home from a party last night and we just laid in bed talking for hours and he told me his family is used to him doing things out of the ordinary so they won't mind my trans* status.  And now we're in a relationship and it all feels so surreal!  He even told me that he won't care if people happen to judge us in public (Since I'm taller than him by a few) but I think it's just great.  There really are good people in the world, they might be hard to find but that's why they're like diamonds!

[JulieC.]

Wow, you are one lucky girl!  It's hard enough to find a guy that is accepting of your trans status but to come with a whole family that's accepting too is even more usual.  I'm happy for you.

[MaidofOrleans]

I love reading these!

It gives me hope 

[justmeinoz]

It just keeps getting better by the sound of it. 

It must be catching as I have since fallen in love with an absolute angel of a lady myself.  Bolt out of the blue for sure.

[Stephe]

I met a great guy about 4 years ago right before I started living full time as a woman. He considers himself straight and never considered dating a trans woman but we are now crazy in love and it's worked out great for us ) We met online (in second life) and were friends for about 6 months before we got more serious. Before we met I explained everything and he wasn't phased by it. There are people who are interested in the person more than -what- you are or even what you look like.

[spacial]

With deep respect and hugs to JulieC, it's hard for any girl to find a decent guy.

Most guys want sex with someone they can tell their male pals all about after.  That really limits the number of guys most girls want to take too seriously if you think about it.

But every so often, a guy comes along, who is interested.

There's only one thing to do when that happens, The same thing sensible girls have doen since the begining of time.

Reel him in! Hooks don't bait themselves. It takes hard work, practice and persistence.

[tekla]

Most guys want sex with someone they can tell their male pals all about after.

I doubt that, at least once they get to an age where they can really have relationships.  What most people want out of a relationship - in the most perfect cost-benefit analysis - is someone who offers more good stuff then negatives.  Someone who gives more than they take.  In the words of a friend of mine: Low maintenance gold and not high maintenance junk.  If you have that, and they share your interests and goals, then you've got something.

[suzifrommd]

Most guys want sex with someone they can tell their male pals all about after.  That really limits the number of guys most girls want to take too seriously if you think about it.

A lot of them, sure. But there are also many that are looking for a life partner. Someone they can trust and share their journey with.

Of course, wait for some guy to find you and ask you out, he's going to be among the more aggressive, more likely to be looking for sex, so these are the more noticeable ones.

The ones looking for trust and partnership are more likely to wait until it comes to them, so we don't notice them as much.

[tekla]

The ones looking for trust and partnership are more likely to wait until it comes to them, so we don't notice them as much.

They are also the most likely to find it, and find it early on, so the older you get, the fewer of them there are.

[leareed]

My guy added me on Facebook, messaged me and we talked as friends for a bit until he gave me his number and asked if I could text him.  I started texting him and one thing led to another and we were flirting when he told me he was genuinely interested in me and would like to take me out on a date.  He even politely asked me about my transition process like surgery and HRT and totally respects me as a person.  And now we're together! The good thing about relationships like this is that even if they don't work out, they're a very good learning experience and they prove that not everyone out there is a waste of time.

[spacial]

Been looking at the youtube videos you linked to. Is that you leareed?

OK, Just noticed the chest tatoo. It's you.

Firstly, you're no-one's waste of time. Believe me.

Secondly, watching the video of you doing makeup in a hurricane. That has to be the most amazing, wacky thing I've ever seen!.

For others, it's a challenge to put on makeup without a mirror.

For the record, It's better than I could do, in a studio, with every bit of professional makeup and no hurricane.

Love it!

[Kevin Peña]

Ok, so you found a straight guy who is cool with your trans status, has a family that's the same, is respectful to women, and is cool with you being taller than him? Sweetie, DO NOT let him go, or I will call first dibs. 

[SilentArchitect]

Good work, just enjoy yourself :-)

[leareed]

Thanks guys!

Spacial, thank you! I was looking ratchet in that video but hey, oh well.  I plan on charting my life on HRT on Youtube once I start them here soon also!