How do I tell my friends and family?

[Jennyxfer]

My name is Jennifer, and I have really low self esteem. I guess what I fear most is rejection as other relationships in the past have just led to bad encounters. I know my mother would reject me. She's a religious zealot who would just banish me from her life. A few of my friends have accepted it, but not my closest ones. I just don't know how to explain it to them without getting judged ridiculously. I fear I could never tell my family, I basically live two lives, which I sure most people do. I have two different facebooks, skypes, ect. I just don't know what to do. I'm even afraid to tell my psychologist because that she my tell my mother. I just need advice I suppose.

[Jamiep]

Hi Jenny,

Welcome to Susan's family. This is good you you have a psychologist, if she isn't gender oriented perhaps she could refer you to a gender therapist. Either way, your psychologist should be able to advise on informing your Mother (she shouldn't be saying anything to your Mom without your consent), perhaps eventually your psychologist may wish to have your Mom in for a session.

Be good to yourself and take your time, you sound young.
Hugs
Jamie

[suzifrommd]

Oh Jenny, hugs and welcome. Give yourself credit for bearing up under a tough situation.

I just don't know how to explain it to them without getting judged ridiculously.

The task ahead of you, and it's a big one, is to educate the people around you. You know a lot more about being transgender than they do (maybe even your psychologist - a lot of them don't know anything about it). Your job will probably to make sure they understand:

* You didn't choose this.
* There is no way to fix or cure being transgender and it typically doesn't go away on its own.
* Experience with transgender people tends to show they do best when they live in a way that is true to their identity.
* Denying or suppressing transgender feelings is dangerous. Suicide is common among transgender people forced to deny their identity.

These will be hard messages to get across. Repetition may help - it will give people an opportunity to think about things you say - so repeat these whenever you have the opportunity. Maybe not everyone will become educated but you have a better chance if you try.

Good luck, Jenny. Please keep posting.

[Jennyxfer]

Give yourself credit for bearing up under a tough situation.

I find it really hard to give myself credit for anything that has already been accomplished by so many others. I know who I am and I'm pretty accepting of that, it's just hard to accept it sometimes. The way I was raised is just so different compared to this. I guess I'm accepting of it and then again I'm not.  It's hard to differentiate between what is normal to me. I just really don't know what to expect in the future for me. I've made so many choices forcing myself to be someone I'm not. -sigh- I just feel like I'm in a bind and I needed somewhere to release, hence me posting here. (Even though I'm not sure if this would be the correct board to post on. >.> ha ha.)

Be good to yourself and take your time, you sound young.

I suppose I'm young, (I don't feel it however.) I'm 23. I think I came to grips that "I was different" when I was 17. I didn't tell anyone until I was 22. So it's been kind of rough for me lately. I've been trying to open up a lot more and some of my friends are accepting. I told another last night, and he was more or less intrigued. Which doesn't bother me, I just had to attempt to explain it the best I could. I wonder if people think it's a mock up or a ruse sometimes. I can only really be open to myself in my own house. Wear what I want, feel fine. I can get away with it on some other days as well, halloween to say so more than others. Just all of lifes decisions are so difficult. It gives me hope to see that some people are so open with who they are... but the state I live in is very biased and narrow minded. I just get odd looks no matter where I go.

[StevieAK]

Just be yourself and do this one day at a time. I think you might not be giving enough credit to the ones you love for how much they love you. I say this because im the same way.
You might ask your therapist the privacy policy. I cant imagine her telling anyone what you tell her. Breath.