Male Co-worker

[mintra]

I posted a while ago that I was paranoid from the stares from some of the male coworkers might be because they were trying to clock me. It turns out that they were interested in me like men interested in women. I found that out from the way my night manager favors me a little bit more and kinda protective when I got some pressure from other coworkers. The way he treated me gives me butterfly a little bit  but it also creates a new problem. Some of the female coworkers are noticeably not too pleased and gave him and me some pressure.

I can understand that office romance is a big no-no in certain offices especially when he is my superior and can let me make more money each shift if he wants. But all these females who were trying to build a barrier between me and him is ridiculous and it makes the guy sympathize me even more. What advice do you think I should do? Imagine everyone's surprise if they ever found out I'm actually a trans. For me, I'm just gonna keep on doing my job and see how it develops.

[Michelle G]

If you like and cherish your job, its not wise at all to flirt with and or date co-workers...it rarely ends well

Just enjoy the compliments but dont respond in kind

[Shantel]

I second Michele's comments, I've observed women in a similar scenario make another woman's life miserable. If the manager presses you further, you might have advise him politely that you aren't interested in seeing the other women overreact to his showing you any favoritism, and that if he is that you are flattered but want him to quit for both of your sakes as no-one wants to work in a hostile workplace.

[aprilrain]

I second Michele's comments, I've observed women in a similar scenario make another woman's life miserable. If the manager presses you further, you might have advise him politely that you aren't interested in seeing the other women overreact to his showing you any favoritism, and that if he is that you are flattered but want him to quit for both of your sakes as no-one wants to work in a hostile workplace.

I second her opinion

[mintra]

It's finally over. The ladies were in full force today and they gave me no choice but to quit. I think they could see what could develop further so they just gonna have to get rid of me who is new instead of him. I was crying uncontrollably when they backstabbed me today and they showed they had pleasure knowing I was bawling. 

This is really an unfortunate situation since I do like the job and the people including the mean ones were overall nice and professional. I knew workplace dating is not a good idea, I even put a ring on and hide myself under the baseball cap since the beginning. And there wasn't even flirting going on, just noticeably preferential towards me but I did unwisely accept his offer. Now I'm drafting a resign letter to the owner. I need a hug.

Thank you ladies.

[Jamiep]

@mintra,

I am sorry that the other ladies have treated you in such a manner that you feel you have to quit. I agree with Michelle, and wonderful Shantel has an excellent missive to gently speak to your superior gives you another choice that allows to stand up for and keep your job. This isn't a good time to be out of work. The ladies are creating an issue that doesn't exist as the think. Your superior needs to tell them to cease or else.
Virtual Hug
Jamie

[Shantel]

Now I'm drafting a resign letter to the owner. I need a hug.

This is very upsetting, I'm so sorry Mintra!   (((HUGS)))

[mintra]

Jamie,

The guy was extremely cautious about his action towards me the past week but he saw the way I was treated and he just couldn't help but take my side which only make things worse. Last night he was off work so the ladies were in full force. I'm talking about the daughter and most probably the wife of the owner who devised the 'plan' to sabotage me. These are also his superior. The guy has more value to the company than me who is a new employed. You can see I have no future here anymore, right?

In a way I kinda have a small admiration towards these women for what they believe is right for the work environment but wow! That was really dirty what they did to me. It is ironic that I have the same work ethic but I ended up being 'the trouble'. This is a sad situation.

I sent a polite resignation letter last night. I'm waiting for the owner's reply regarding my paycheck.

Thank you ladies.

[mintra]

This is very upsetting, I'm so sorry Mintra!   (((HUGS)))

Thank you, Shantel.

[Jamiep]

@minta,

Owners can do what they want with their business.

This is sad. So sorry. Take care.

Jamie

[mintra]

Just when I thought the worst is over. The owner responded to my formal resignation email with one simple word :

"104" which is the company's code meaning "okay".

Not even a real word. No mentioning about my check. Now I really think they found out I'm trans and tried to get rid of me. I have never been so insulted in my whole life. Technically, I did not do anything to deserve this kind of treatment but just like you said Jamie, they can do whatever they want with their own business. My fear of being clocked became true. I kinda expect they'd find out sooner or later but it is really worse than I thought it would be.

[LizMarie]

Failure to pay you could become a legal nightmare for them, especially if you go to some GLBT legal organization and press the case. Simply send another letter asking how to handle your final paycheck. Be polite but don't back down. If they give you crap, seek out legal representation.

[mintra]

Yeah. The way the owner respond to my formal letter was extremely unprofessional and inhumane to say the least. Now that I finally left the company, at least have a heart to acknowledge my leave in real english words.

[Shantel]

True colors exposed I suppose. Now that the cat is out of the bag it's plainly evident that you were unknowingly surrounded by several bigoted c**t's and a male Neanderthal for an employer. Honey it may turn out that you were just standing in a hole and didn't know it. You'll know for sure if it turns out that the next job turns out to be much better. Oddly, that has always been my experience. My best to you girlfriend!

[mintra]

True colors exposed I suppose. Now that the cat is out of the bag it's plainly evident that you were unknowingly surrounded by several bigoted c**t's and a male Neanderthal for an employer. Honey it may turn out that you were just standing in a hole and didn't know it. You'll know for sure if it turns out that the next job turns out to be much better. Oddly, that has always been my experience. My best to you girlfriend!

Shantel and all you girls are what I need in times like this. You have no idea your support helps me immensely coping with this. I thank you all so much. I have another part-time job that I can depend on while looking for a new one so you don't have to worry. I'll allow myself to stress for one more night and I'll wake up with a new attitude.

[Jamiep]

@mintra,

The way the owner respond to my formal letter was extremely unprofessional and inhumane to say the least.

I don't know how the owner can live with themselves after the owner did this. As Shantel indicated, my experience is like that were once being released from a job was actually doing me a favor as I landed in a better job.

LizMarie says Failure to pay you could become a legal nightmare for them, especially if you go to some GLBT legal organization and press the case. Simply send another letter asking how to handle your final paycheck. Be polite but don't back down. If they give you crap, seek out legal representation.

She probably has a good point. Does Missouri have gender discrimination laws? Looks like the owners did this.

You say,I'll wake up with a new attitude.

That reminds me of a Carly Simon song, "New Attitude." Love Carly, this song is uptempo and after you have heard it you are inspired with a "new attitude," and Happy.

Best wishes for a brighter future for you sister.
Hugs
Jamie

[mintra]

Lizmarie & JamieP, I can't fight them legally with this. I have to let it go. They really did set me up. They were supposed to give me the check last Saturday but they hold it off because they knew I would quit on Monday and the amount on the check would cover the penalty fee for finding last minute replacement who will fill in my shifts this week. I still can't believe they devised this well thought out plan to get rid of me like this. It's really mind-boggling.