hello

[andy_pap]

hi all my name is andrew i am a bit lost (i also like sifi movies)

ill start way back as a small kid i did not question my gender but i did feal a bit at odds i think then around  age 10-11 i did start to question my gender i remember asking my self  " am i suppose to be girl i remember having a op may be thay gave me a thing than and just did not tell me" and when thing my last school i started to crossdress i did not what my voice to brake or grow face fur
i wanted to be femail

now i have come out 3 times
because this started around 11 I'm thinking it is just a mad thort gon mad or some sick fetage

i think the best way to describe this is with a sifi movie
the matrix when neo is at his computer looking for a answer he knows there is something wrong
and later he is given a choice the red pill(stay the same ) or the blue pill (change)

I'm neo looking for a answer the pills are red (stay looking) blue (sex change ) this i a big jump when you do not know who your are 
so i all ways go red(stay looking)
i gess i am looking for advice help or even your view on things

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Hi Andy,

Welcome to our little family. Over 8830 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another member.

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Janet 

[justmeinoz]

Hello and welcome Andy.

There are as many ways of looking at this whole question as there are people asking it, so don't feel like you are alone.  We all come up with slightly different answers, so what ever you do is what is right for you.  It's a slow process, so don't feel discouraged if you are uncertain, there is a lot of good advice available here.

Karen.

[andy_pap]

Thankyou

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Andrew,

A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.

There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in and start talking and asking questions

Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[andy_pap]

I should say I have as Emotion processing problems ( i think it is called Aspergers)  and was thinking


If our emotions define our identity
What happens if we can not proses our emotions

Do we loos our identity
Do we blur our identity
Do we go robot like
All

[andy_pap]

i found out there is a link with aspergers and gender identity
but it seems to be female to mail that is all i can find on this

it makes me think " do i have a female brane wanting/trying to be mail " witch may explain the body map issue but
it still sounds to crazy and it is getting crazyer

i think i need more info on this  can anybody help

[Devlyn]

Hi Andy, welcome from Boston! Glad you found us. See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Andy,

Obviously to get the best answers to your questions, it might be better if you can find a gender therapist who understands your exact situation. These people work best when you meet them one on one.

Keep us posted on how you are coping

Be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa Huggs
Catherine

[andy_pap]

I was thinking if I am getting mad for not fealing fem all the time
I must still whant to be female at the time why else would I get mad
    I still whant to chage my body to so much my life style

When I came out to my mum and did thay find it hard to separate
Gender with sexuality  way is that is it down to the movies

[andy_pap]

How can I find a gender therapist I whent  to the doctors for cancelling but all I got was information 

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Andy,

A comprehensive list of therapists are available if you click the following link. I assume you live in the States. If not, there is a list of international therapists on the same link.

https://www.susans.org/Healthcare/Therapists_and_Counselors/

Also there is more information available for you, if you take the "Reference Library" link at the top of the page.

Keep up the good work

Be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[andy_pap]

i live in the uk

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Andy,

Take the link I left then select "list of Therapists" then select "international"

Hope it helps

Huggs

Catherine

[andy_pap]

Do you think playing with my sister and not my brother chaged me at all
I'm not

I remember pestering my gran for a tool kit but I allso remember playing with my sister and saying that I wanted to be a prince-es as i did not like the sound of begin a prince
For years I've been looking thow my memory's trying to find the start of my mixup but find there is no start

I'm starting to think I a bit of each
Am basing this on : memory's ,how I feal around people,crossdresing ,a-sexual or week bi sexual and body issue

Is Aspergers to blame for it or is it more
 

[andy_pap]

I have been here for about a week now and I am surprised at how friendly helpful and open people are
I have explored and asked about stuff  on my quest to find out more about my and the things on my mind like what is * do you* or just talking about odd stuff 

Iv posted on Androgens ,trans and Cross dressing to seek info and learn
Even with me odd mind I am not alone with what I think

I only stater to look around for answers at the start of the year because of getting Cort but I now live on my ON with all the privet time to look ( or do) I know I angered some one on this quest and I feal bad but I know much more from a week ago  it is fun to open up
But not face to face because of self dout

[Catherine Sarah]

Do you think playing with my sister and not my brother chaged me at all

Generally speaking Andy. No. It would have been pre determined by this time, thus is the reason you had more affinity (attraction) to your sister.

Is Aspergers to blame for it or is it more

Not sure on the answer to this one. You'll have to keep that one for your Psychiatrist. They are the ones that deal with those issues.

Keep up the good work and be safe, well and happy

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[andy_pap]

I whent to the canceller and thay said thay will give me info on asbergers and transgender and also a phone call but that was about two week ago and I only had a one hour session with them. but my dad said the nhs is verry slow 

Now that I came out with to the docs my mum/dad things seem to switch about all over the place
But I ges I am just more aware of it with added fear of being wrong

[andy_pap]

I ges some of you have been reading my post and I must ask am I being too open on here
Should I keep some stuff to my self or is it all good

[Arch]

Yeah, I've heard that the NHS has its own way of doing things, and its own timetable.

I found journaling to be very helpful when I was trying to sort things out. I also made some videos--they helped in a different way. I made them for me, though, not for YouTube viewers!

Sex and gender are very complicated. There is a big difference between how you identify (some people would call it "who you are") and what gender roles you favor. Some of my non-trans male friends are very manly, but they like traditionally female activities like cooking and sewing. I don't like any of those activities at all. Yet we are all men. I played with both boys' and girls' toys as a kid. What I played with doesn't define who I am. And so forth.

But a good therapist should be able to help you think things through, and you might find it helpful to write and talk about these issues (here, elsewhere, online, in person, privately...whatever).

You are anonymous here, by the way, so it's okay to talk about this stuff. Just make sure you are clear about the rules.