uhm hi

[Alicia]

^ ^;; hi everyone..I'm new obviously >.>;; and I'm in college, Art major. ect ect. I am a guy who feels like a women inside..I became aware of myself for 14 years of my life. I am now 18 and just now letting it out. I told my mom at first two years ago. and she didn't know how to handle it. and she even tried denying it. I didn't blame her so I asked her to just drop the subject. I even tried ignoring it myself. I was afraid of me. but then it just came to the point where I became sad very easily. I want to be a girl and I couldn't bottle it in anymore. I brought it up to my mom once again and said "Mom, I think I'm gay..." She just gave me a stare of disbeleif...which stung even though it was so short..she asked me "Are you sure? what makes you think that?"  it's how I feel, I want to be a girl and I like guys. She replied to that and said "baby. I don't think your gay..how do you feel?" Me: "I've felt like a girl my entire life..I became aware of myself at 4 and though it was wrong so I never said anything.."

My mom said because the fact I feel like a girl on the inside, thats the reason I like guys. and pretty much true.

that was last summer..and my whole family now knows about how I feel. And I want to cross dress..though, I'm afraid..When I move out of my current room in college, cus so seems that my room mate is a homophobe....<.<;; leave it to me to be roomed with someone who doesn't approve of how I feel. p.q I'm glad I never told him how i am.. I'm suppose to be moving into a new room soon, not sure when, maybe this weekend.. and when I do, I AM going to cross dress.......am I'm scared yet determined at the same time....I'm probably going to be on a lot of people's bad sides....but if they were real friends or MATURE then they would understand or something...

I'm afraid on how I will be looked at...talked about...I know there are cruel people out there...and Right now, there are no gay people on campus...or anyone to relate to...the only person I know who has my back is my sister...and some of the adminastration...I don't know what I'm going to do after I cross dress.....So I was wondering if you all could give some advice ...? And I would preferably like to make friends here..ya know? I have AIM Yahoo and MSN...so feel free to IM me....

and I think i'm done....

[Valerie]

Hi Alicia,

I'm not really 'qualified' to offer you any advice but I saw that no one's been by yet to welcome you & I couldn't just leave without saying hello. 

So, WELCOME!! Be sure to read the site rules and browse the Wiki where you'll find tons of information.

Does your school have a Gay-Straight Alliance or a Pride group?  If your school has a counseling center ( and I believe most colleges do), they may be able to direct you to some GLBT resources or groups that can help you find local support. 

Definitely stay tuned, you'll find many caring and helpful people here at Susan's. I'm sure in no time you'll start feeling at home here. 

Valerie

[Alicia]

Thanks for the welcome Val *hugs*

Well, I'm not all sure on any programs for Genderly Issued people but I know if I bring it up to one of the people at admissions and if i get enough people I can form a group..but thing is....I'm not all confident right now ^ ^;;; I'm still a bit afraid....

I know I'm able to talk to a counciler here and I DID have an opprotunity...but even then I was scared lol...^ ^;;

Right now I'm in Bristol Virginia..and go to Virginia Intermont college.. anyone know of any groups nearby?

[kloud9]

HI, there has to be a GLBT center near  you and no doubt they will have some info or support groups there.

What are your plans? Do you just want to go on dressing as a Female or do you have plans to go further such as TG?

[Alicia]

hi
I'm going to dress female for the time being I suppose..I have the femine figure..(hopefully I can get pics for you all =P lol but All I have clothe wise are a tank top, two shirts one with Gur on it =D yay gur..lol and a small skirt ^ ^;; I have some tight fitting jeans and such.. and a lot of big shirts..I left all my women cllothing at home..but brought all my earrings XD..which are all Hoop earrings lol (love them <3)

I would like to go for the surgery...but money issues..So, I'm going to try and get my money through what I like to do best..DRAW  I'm going to try and get into anime and earn my money there. Once I get enough I'm going to have the operation. I still feel like my family is ify on this..My mom is always throwing in what she thinks and 9 out of 10 its not how things are..yippee..parents.. and my dad...hasn't said anything...my little sister doesn't even talk to me anymore...and my older sister doesn't care either way...So I feel as if I'm on my own on the issue..I'm the only one in my family and it's branches to feel the way I do..or at least the only one to tell...lol. I hope this place will be a new home for me.. ^ ^ and already feel comfortable..lol.

[kloud9]

Well you sound like you know what you want so far and are pretty happy emotionally. I'm 18 too and I've been doing the transitioning thing since April.

I hope you can still have a relationship with your parents. It sounds like there is some hope there. Good luck, I'm around early mornings or nights if you need advice.

Toni

[Alicia]

I'm pretty happy yeah..Just afraid is all..I came here to talk to people like me to see how they deal with how things are..

the biggest thing with my parents are going to be if they accept me having a boyfriend....lol...I know I'm going to get looks on that.. XD I first met him on net and he knew me as a girl..when i told him how I was..he was shocked yes...but he still loves me..and I don't think he is gay becuase..well look how I am, I feel like a girl and like guys because of it..he is seeing past my male body and knows I want to be female...I truely think he is my one..so he is also great support.. ^ ^

And I hope to talk to you more when your on ^ ^ thanks for your time *hugs*

[Cassandra]

Hi Alicia.

Welcome to Susans. You've met a couple of people here and are probably already starting to get a sense that you have come to a place were you can make friends and get help and advice. We are a very friendly bunch. It might interest you to know that Valerie, who was the first to respond to you here is a christian( i guess you'd say missionary of sorts) for transgender/christian relations.  That about right Val?

kloud9 wrote:

dressing as a Female or do you have plans to go further such as TG?

That's TS, TG is the general term covering the entire transgender spectrum. If you are planning to transition all the way you are Transsexual. There is lots of info in the Wiki and you should spend some time there to get a better handle on were you fit in the spectrum.

If you are thinking of transitioning the first step is to find a therapist who works with TS people. No I don't think your crazy. The Benjamin protocols require therapy sessions and the therapist will make reccomendations with your doctor regarding HRT if you plan to go that route. Of course you also have to find a doctor who works with TS people.

There are a lot of resources here at Susans and if you follow some of the links on the Home page you should be able to find someone in your area. Part of the transition process is something we call the Real Life Test. You will see that around the site abbreviated as RLT.

I am TS and I am living full time. I am having my name legally changed to Cassandra and am looking very forward to getting my documents from the court. Poke around the forums you're going to find a lot of info and answers to your questions in many threads here.

So fix yourself a cup of tea, or other relaxing beverage, sit down, take your shoes off and set a spell.

Good Journey,


Cassie

[Leigh]

Right now, there are no gay people on campus...or anyone to relate to...

If there are more than 1000 students and faculty on campus that is a statistical impossibility.  Reportedly 10% of the general population is or has had a homosexual encounter.  Even its actually 1% you are not alone where you are getting an education.

You asked about help in Virginia.

Alexandria

Martha L. Harris, LCSW
Banyan Counseling Center
1007 King Street
Alexandria, VA  22314
(571) 431-0900
BanyanCounseling@aol.com
www.BanyanCounselingCenter.com


Ellen Warren, LCSW
(703) 683-0710

Annandale

Sam Wyman, Ph. D.
Suite 222
4201 John Marr Drive
Annandate, VA 22003
(703) 914-4628

Arlington

Rusty Lynn, LCSW
(703) 903-9696, ext. 269

Harrisonburg

Michael G. Tancyus, L.C.S.W.
57 South Main Street, Suite 615
Harrisonburg, VA 22801
(540) 574-6063
www.michaelgtancyuslcsw.com
rolltide@cfw.com

McLean

Joan Pickett, LPC
6723 Whittier Avenue
Suite L4A
McLean, VA 22101
(703) 749--7928

Norfolk

Maggie Chubb, LCSW
Associates At York, Inc.
142 W. York St., Suite 915
Norfolk, VA 23510
(757) 313-5700
Fax (757) 313-5702
ally4u@infi.ne

Vienna

Eleanor Criswell, Ph.D.
8296-C Old Courthouse Road
Vienna, VA 22182
(703) 748-4900
ecriswell@erols.com
www.drcriswell.com

[kloud9]

That's TS, TG is the general term covering the entire transgender spectrum. If you are planning to transition all the way you are Transsexual. There is lots of info in the Wiki and you should spend some time there to get a better handle on were you fit in the spectrum.

Yes that's correct I didn'trealize I typed that. Thanks Cassandra

[Alicia]

Thanks for all your help everyone!

Cassandra, thank you for all your information and hope to be good friends in the future. I think the name your going to get legally changed to is a pretty one. ^ ^ I want to get my name change to Alicia ^ ^

Leigh, thanks so much for the info, I live in Norfolk, so I will check the one near there when i go home for break ^ ^

thanks again everyone

*hugs*

-Alicia

[Valerie]

Well, Alicia, looks like you've been properly initiated and getting some of the information you're looking for.     Glad you're feeling comfortable here. 

It might interest you to know that Valerie.....is a christian( i guess you'd say missionary of sorts) for transgender/christian relations. That about right Val?

He,he, well, Cass, I never thought much about what to call myself... I'm a Christian and an ally, but you have carte blanche and may call me anything...what I'll answer to is a different story   >

Have a great day everyone!!

Valerie

[stephanie_craxford]

Hello Alicia

I'm going to try and get into anime and earn my money there. Once I get enough I'm going to have the operation.

Please take notice of the advice that you have been give here.  It's not just a question of getting the money and having the operation.  It is just not that simple, so please don't think it is.  As Cassie has advised one of your first steps is therapy as there is a lot of difference between cross-dressing and becoming a woman.  Remember, it's not the cloths that make the woman.

Be very careful,

Steph

[Alicia]

Yeah, I know. I kinda figured none of this will come easy. lol. And I know clothing doesn't make the women lol If you get to know me, you can really see I want to be female lol. I pass as a women on net, and soon in real life,....hopefully.. But coming here will answer all those questions I'm not able ask my friends or family or they would give a solid answer...>.>;

Thanks again everyone for your time..^ ^

*hugs*

-Alicia