How do you deal with body hate?

[muuu]

.

[Alyx Vox]

I'll paraphrase myself from an earlier reply to a
topic you started, muuu.

We all hated our bodies at one point or another,
otherwise we wouldn't be transgender.

After my self-realization I'm seeing my body
as a workpiece, it may be male now, but some
day it will be of a beautiful woman. Akin to a piece of
cloth that will be a marvelous dress one day.
I don't hate my body any more: hate is a self-destructive
emotion.

I have a body of a pretty boy, so I think I'll transition fine.
I'm also very androgynous, I even have a noticeable hint
of a hourglass figure, little bodily and facial hair and even Tanner III boobies.

My appearance was never that important to me as a boy.
I didn't care that I was pretty. Right now I do care, it's
a part of being a woman, isn't it?

I'm not on HRT yet, so I'm not at that stage
to answer your other questions yet. Currently waiting
for the appointment with my gender therapist in march. >_<
Long waiting queues here.

[Kelly J. P.]

Yeah... I think that was it, if you think you should add something because you find it important, I'd love if you would add it!

- Pre-transition, how much did you hate your own body? Did you think you'd ever get ok/happy with it? I guess also how much your own looks matter to you?

I hated it quite a bit, and I knew that if I didn't transition, it would get significantly worse. My own looks matter to me quite a bit, however, a large part of my anxiety was over my voice. I tried not to speak, because I couldn't stand the sound of my own voice.

- Are you ok with your body now (doesn't matter where you are in your transition, but I'd want you mentioning it)? Do you still have the same 'requirements' of your body that you had before?

I'm not really okay with it now, no. Being anorexic means no breasts and very little for actual changes, and being hairy means... well... being hairy. I certainly look better than before, but I wouldn't say that I'm unclockable - my voice is probably my saving grace.

- If not: Why are you not ok/happy with it? Is there any way you think you can be ok/happy with it? And what have you tried to fix your issue?

I'm not happy with my appearance because I feel that I still look too masculine; I am not able to compete with the girls my age in terms of prettiness, and I am hairy everywhere. Not black and thick, mostly, but there are dark hairs aplenty that could be noticed. I haven't tried anything to solve these issues - I don't want to get breast implants, or FFS, and while I've tried gaining weight, I find it to be impossible. I suppose I could wax everywhere, but that would be painful and expensive.

- A last short one, do you care as much about your own looks now?

I still care very much. Thankfully, I have better reasons to hate nearly everything.

[Alainaluvsu]

There are things about my body I hate, and things about my body that I'm fine with, and things about my body that I'm grateful for.

Pre-transition:

I was nearly 5'6" 140 lbs, muscular, fairly hairy all over (except my back and shoulders thank god)

Things I hated:

- I have a penis
- My rib cage was wide (but so is my moms)
- I had male pattern hair, was medium in texture. It covered my torso but was more noticeable in the happy trail and chest area. My arms and legs were covered and were pretty dense. My feet had hair and so did my hands
- I had pretty firm muscle tone and it shaped me very masculine.
- Thick fingers (but so are my moms)
- Body odor / perspiration. I hated smelling like a man! I hated sweating heavily for everything too.

Things I was okay with:

- My rib cage was short (but so is my moms)
- I had a firm, toned up stomach
- My butt was okay... masculine looking but it was okay. I didn't have a small butt for a guy.
- My chest width was 37"
- Feet were a size 8 in mens, 10 in womens
- Vein prominence. You could see veins in my forearms but they weren't very pronounced.

Things I was grateful for:

- I was short for a male (5'6")
- Short hands (I have never met a male with smaller hands than me)
- Fairly narrow overall bone structure
- Great nail health
- No back / shoulder hair

Now that I transitioned after over a year on HRT, things are a little different but not by much. I'm 5'3" 135 lbs. Average for a woman when it comes to build.

Things I hate now:

- I have a penis
- My rib cage is wide
- While thinning, the hair is still there. My torso still grows hair, but it's lessening. The only places it grows at all is the middle of the chest down to the navel, and that is becoming much finer. There is also a horizontal line of growth connecting the nipples but overall it's thinned out quite a bit. Not nearly where I want to be but over the past month or 2 have been the biggest changes on the chest. My feet and hands still grow hair but it's much slower and more fine.
- Thick fingers
- Dry skin. If I scratch it is ashy!!
- Thin skin. If I knick myself even a little, chances are I break the skin now.
- The padding on the bottom of my feet went away! Walking in heels HURTS!!! There's no natural cushion in my feet anymore at all.

Things I'm okay with now:

- My rib cage is short
- My penis shrank an inch... which is a double edged sword when tucking. I know people are thinking "But that'd make things easier!" well... it's so small that it doesn't even have enough length to go underneath, so it just kinda sticks out if I'm wearing anything less than tight tight jeans. I hate taping too...
- My tummy is flabbier. Not in a fat way, but just in a much less defined way. I have a definite womans pooch. It helps me pass I suppose but it's still a lil ugly imo lol!!
- I'm WAY WAY weaker. I strain to open tops on juice now. Of course less strength means less muscle so I will take that tradeoff. I'd say I'm probably weaker than 1/3rd or even 2/5ths of the female population.
- My nails SUCK! I don't hate this though... I have pretty nails, they just are so soft and brittle! Very eggshell. I can't get them to grow because they'll chip!
- My arm hair is still there, just fine like a womans. There's a lot, but I've seen a few with hairier arms. I can live with it like this.
- I shrank nearly 3" ... I'm 5'3" now. I now some of yall would kill for that, but I think guys overlook me sometimes because I'm so short! I'm fine with it though.
- Wearing a bra. They can be annoying but it's part of being a girl. I'd go without but I don't want my nipples showing through my clothes.
- I don't have an hourglass figure. It's more of a banana. I can still pull off a tight top or two though.

Things I'm grateful for now:

- Short hands (No, for real... only petite women have smaller hands than me)
- Narrow frame (about average for a cis girl)
- I'm already up to a B cup and they're starting to look pretty good without a bra. You know... minus the nipples poking through part lol!
- I'm down to a 34 in the chest (Sooo I'm a 34B atm)
- Muscle just melted away. I can wear tank tops and look good in them.
- My shoe size is now a 7.5 - 8 in womens. I'm almost just "Okay" with this, because it's hard finding shoes in that size that look cute. They're already bought because it's a common size!
- Body odor has changed. Wanna smell my bra? lol! Don't get me wrong, I like the way men smell, but I'm not a man ... and I don't sweat nearly as much now. I don't even need deodorant most of the time.
- My butt is rockin in a pair of skinny jeans now. If there's 1 thing I don't have is a flat ass! Black men check my butt out all the time and that's sayin something!!
- Scalp hair grows faster and only needs shampooing once a week.
- I don't see many veins anymore. Just in my hands.

That's all I can think of for now. I'm sure there's more though!!!

I didn't HATE my body before... just the penis part. I knew HRT would make me look pretty fem in the body, so I was okay with it. My looks didn't matter to me as a boy, but now that I'm a girl I'm almost obsessed with it. Now, I'm okay with my body. Yes, things could be better but I can't complain. Plenty of cis women out there would kill for my body tbh. I'm not thinking high of myself either, even strangers who had no clue that I'm trans have told me this. I'll be much happier if / when I get SRS, though. I wouldn't mind larger boobs either... but that's not majorly important to me. B cups are pretty common among women so I can't be very unhappy with it considering I started at almost 30 years old and I've only been on 14 months.

I just took this photo... I'm okay with my body.

[~RoadToTrista~]

Ignore it, put up with it, look at myself in the mirror and stress about it, not sure if that's dealing with it but it's what I do. I handle it better sometimes more than other times.

[aprilrain]

I hated HATED! My masculine facial features. I would literally cry about it so I spent the money on FFS and now I love my face. I have really small boobs so I'm getting BA soon (I'm actually going to schedule surgery today!) I never hated my penis per se but I always seemed like I shoulda had a vagina I'll be fixing that problem next year. I still have body issues, if there is one thing I wish I could change it would be hips. I wish I had more hips!

[muuu]

.

[Jayne]

I'm waiting for HRT to start, this will be next July at the earliest so I just have to put up with the things I hate right now.
I hate having a penis but keep telling myself that it's days are numbered & this helps a bit.

I hate hair, possibly more than my penis, hairy legs are repulsive so I epilate, it hurt the first time but now I barely notice it.
I hate having a hairy tummy but haven't managed to endure epilating there yet so I shave it every few days.
My hairy chest is vile so gets shaved every other day, once it's gone I feel clean again.
The worst bit is my 5 O'clock shadow, i'd rather have doggy doo smeared on my face!! I can't use a razor to shave so can't get a smooth face & I can only use make-up to cover it for a few days at a time before my skin goes nuts, some days I have to cover the mirror in my bathroom so i don't see it when I walk past.

I don't have breasts or hips & I hate that as well.

My way of making myself happy is to always wear nail varnish, every time I see my painted nails it makes me smile & takes the edge off my feelings, right now they're violet with a sparkly, glitter top coat.
As for the rest, I just keep telling myself that it's only a matter of time, since I applied for gender reasignment it's gotten easier to deal with but it can still cripple me with depression

[Alyx Vox]

Oh, yeah, that penis thing. I forget sometimes that I still have it.
Well, its kill-switch is ticking, so just a little patience.
Yeah and of course I hate it too. I'm glad it's pretty small though.

Sounds like you'll have a nice transition ^^

Let's hope you're right. I wish you the same, dear 

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

I am overweight.  I am at about 180#.  At one time I was down to 135#, which I loved.

I hated having a penis and testicles.  Sex was just something a guy has to do.  I can go for ever without sex as a male.  However my orchidectomy cured part of that.

Facial hair.  I still have that.  Being unemployed, I can't afford laser or electrolysis.

Body hair has pretty much faded, except for my arms.

My boobs is the part that I love.  They are perky and continue ti fill in.

Oh and I am 4 years, HRT

[Alyx Vox]

...

Hmm, I actually have intimacy issues. Is it normal for a trans?

[Alainaluvsu]

Hmm, I actually have intimacy issues. Is it normal for a trans?

Yes... you should see my okcupid messages I finally had to just put it on my profile so people would know what to expect. People who meet me tend to worry too much about if anyone is clocking me or whatever... which is bullcrap. They'll sit there and say "OMG you're beautiful, I couldn't see you being a guy at all" but at the same time they're worried what everyone else thinks. Men can be immature and so tied to their sexuality that it's frustrating. But they have no problem going to my house... go figure.

Unless you mean having trouble getting up, then  yes. Lack of testosterone tends to make you less attached to sex, for sure

[Alyx Vox]

Unless you mean having trouble getting up, then  yes. Lack of testosterone tends to make you less attached to sex, for sure

Well, it's actually both sexual and emotional. I can't see me having
sex in my current body. I never understood how anyone could love me,
even though as I said - I have a body and face of a pretty boy.

I should rephrase my question however: do trans people have the same issues pre-HRT?
I'm positive that once I'm transitioned with a couple of years of HRT behind my back
and SRS done, I'll be comfortable enough in my new body to become intimate with
a person I like, be it a man or a woman.

One more thing: I'll announce me being transsexual to any person that wants to have
a relationship with me or a person I want to have a relationship with, prior to the fact.
I think that's fair. If it's an issue, I don't want to be with a human being like that anyway.

[Alainaluvsu]

Well, it's actually both sexual and emotional. I can't see me having
sex in my current body. I never understood how anyone could love me,
even though as I said - I have a body and face of a pretty boy.

I should rephrase my question however: do trans people have the same issues pre-HRT?
I'm positive that once I'm transitioned with a couple of years of HRT behind my back
and SRS done, I'll be comfortable enough in my new body to become intimate with
a person I like, be it a man or a woman.

One more thing: I'll announce me being transsexual to any person that wants to have
a relationship with me or a person I want to have a relationship with, prior to the fact.
I think that's fair. If it's an issue, I don't want to be with a human being like that anyway.

Oh no question I had issues with relationships pre HRT. I hated my body and was ashamed of it even when my partner may have loved it. It disgusted me to be seen by them. It was a serious problem. Now my only issues are if my penis is visible.

[Alyx Vox]

Now my only issues are if my penis is visible.

Any plans on SRS yet?

I personally was planning to undergo it before I hit 30.
I still have more than two years,
so it should work out alright according to the schedule.

It's very painful the first four months. Hygiene is also
a problem with all kinds of unpleasantries coming out.
Pantyliners are a must. All that doesn't scare me though.

[Alainaluvsu]

I have decent credit, so I'm planning to get it taken care of when I pay my car off in 2014.

Nothing scares me about it either... sounds gross at first but i'll get over it. I've always been completely ashamed to have a penis. Now that I transitioned, it seems like the most out of place thing on my body x 100000000.