Now I'm worried

[Adrian_Michael]

My husband(for now) made it very clear he intends on taking my son.

So far as to put in for disability so he wouldn't have to work.

Told me that I'd be unstable and dangerous once I started testosterone because I've got a short Italian temper.

Tried to tell me my physical disability and my depression will hinder my ability to parent(because it has so far, you know? *eyeroll*).

I have support on my side, and I will be taking that support as needed, but I refuse to let him use what hasn't hindered me yet as an excuse.

I also refuse to bend to his will anymore, and I will not be bullied into thinking I cannot do this. I'm basically a single parent already with his disconnection and lack of presence because of his work hours.




GRRRRRR

[unknown]

As far a I know then T can actually make your temper better because you feel more relaxed than before.

[Brooke777]

Just a suggestion, start documenting his "failures" as you go along. You might be able to use them to your advantage. Also, document your successes too.

[AdamMLP]

I'm not sure where you live, but if you go through formal proceedings most places will favour you over him because you're already caring for the kid.  As long as they don't think unfairly of you because you're trans -- and if they do then you have grounds for kicking up a huge fuss -- then you should get to keep them.

Obviously the best thing to do would be to stay amicable towards your current husband to avoid all the legal mess and agree on something, but that all depends on whether or not he will come around to the fact that you never was his perfect 50s housewife, you're a bloke who is more than capable of raising a child.

If he's put in for disability then I can't see how he can turn around and say that your disabilities should disqualify you from having the child.  Seems a little hypocritical to me.

[Nero]

As far a I know then T can actually make your temper better because you feel more relaxed than before.

Yep. That's been my experience. I'm a lot calmer and laid back.

[Adam (birkin)]

It just sounds like threats made out of anger/bitterness. It might even be an attempt to scare you "straight." But do document things, as someone else has said, just in case. Don't let him get under your skin because it'll just create more problems and give him fuel.

[Zerro]

You essentially spend all your time with your son, right? He's not an active parent, and if he's not being respectful, he shouldn't be allowed to lay a finger on your child.

His behavior is incredibly immature. You are not a danger to your child, HE is.

[tekla]

Get a lawyer.  Now.  Family court isn't run by right and wrong, like any court, it's run by lawyers.

[DriftingCrow]

You definitey want to get a lawyer who specializes in family law. If you can't afford one, contact a legal services group that will help you find free/low cost lawyers in your state, or even contact your state's bar association. Whatever you do DON'T go pro se.

Here's a link of some legal aid groups in the USA (it's not a comprehensive list): http://www.lsc.gov/find-legal-aid

[Adrian_Michael]

An update:

He signed physical custody over to me, notarized and legal.

We will continue to share legal custody(decisions over schooling, health, etc), but he will live with me.



This has been an uncomfortable few weeks, but now I can move on.

[DriftingCrow]

Congrats Adrian, I hope things go well. 

[AdamMLP]

That's great news!  Must be a huge weight off you're shoulders.

[Arch]

Great news. However did you manage it?

[Adrian_Michael]

Great news. However did you manage it?

Logic and good support from people who thought I was being more than fair with what I offered him.