My counselor told me last week she'd write up my letter and I should go ahead and make a doc appt. So, I make my appt, tell them I'll have my letter because they said I'd need one. The center is a state away though, so it's a huge hassle getting off work, finding a vehicle, getting a babysitter, finding a place to sleep. But I'm thrilled, excited, making plans for what kind of fun things I've always wanted to do but never could because of the chick-ish-ness. Basically, I'm stoked. So my appt is this Monday, and last night she texts me, doesn't call, texts, saying she no longer feels qualified to write me my letter because she's never handled a case like mine before, yada yada yada, go see a therapist. The weekend before my appointment, which she knows is Monday, and she knows it's been a huge pain in the neck to schedule. So now I'm furious, brokenhearted and feeling like "Oh God please don't make me start over. Not again."
So, I call my 'state-away' doctor this morning, saying I'll have to cancel my appt because my counselor said I'd have my letter but now she decided she doesn't want to give me one, and what does the nurse say?? ....It's okay. I don't need it. I can fill out separate paperwork for that. It happens. Come in anyway.
Now, I don't know how I feel. I'm excited, and a bit scared, but hurt that my counselor would put me through that. And she's a friend of the family too, so there's now a kind of 'rift' thing going on there. I don't know how to feel about this anymore. I guess I thought I'd be happier? Like I was the "first time"? Has anyone else gone though something like this? I don't know if I'm just too relieved to be happy, or if I'm too hurt to be, or what. But it kinda sucks. I kinda just want a hug...
