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some SRS thinking?

Started by oZma, November 13, 2012, 12:23:42 AM

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mementomori

Quote from: Alyx Vox on November 13, 2012, 08:29:38 AM
Male genitalia under HRT become useless,
why clutch to them? I just get an impression that
you don't want to part with your male parts, due to
whatever reason. Please, don't hesitate to correct me
on the account of me being wrong.

Detransition is unwise if you weren't happy before
your transition and are happy now. Are you?
That's the ultimate question. All of us were unhappy
in our male bodies. It's okay to feel confused sometimes,
don't mistake that for unhappiness.

You look like every other woman to me,
if you want to become more feminine, give
HRT more time. It's a gradual process. And stop that
nonsense about "growing old and not looking cute anymore"
as a reason to detransition. I don't see any cute old men around,
do you? I do, however, see my share of cute elderly women.

SRS is the final step for most of us. Don't live in the past,
live in the present with your head into the future. The past is dead.

Sexually... yeah! Having multiple orgasms in a succession helps too.
In terms of self-image: it brings our bodies closer to our minds.

useless? i know plenty of people who dont plan on srs and still function / get erections when they want them etc
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Carlita

Quote from: aprilrain on November 15, 2012, 08:21:18 AM

If ones sexual orientation is hetero, female identified, then one could never be happy or fulfilled as a male having sex with anyone. In this sense our sexual orientation is intimately tied to our gender identity.

This ... This ... This ... THIS!

My experience EXACTLY!
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Alyx Vox

F*** it. I'm still advocating that sexual orientation is nothing like
gender identity. Both are different concepts and happiness has
nothing to do with it.

Imagine your body as an immaterial cloud, you would still be attracted to
people of the gender you are attracted to. The same with gender: imagine
you're the last person on Earth and you'll still want to be your "brain" gender.

You don't even have to ever be in a relationship to understand that you're attracted
to one or both genders or are repulsed by one or both of them. Same with gender, you
just know you're in the wrong body.

In my example, I'm bi and I have difficulties becoming intimate due to my gender dysphoria.
It's the same with MaidofOrleans, but with me it just goes both ways.
We're not talking on subjectivity of happiness here, but rather on the definitions of both
sexual orientation and gender identity both of which are objective properties that have NOTHING
to do with one another (yep, I'm an empirical woman, sue me). So, please spare me the emotional nonsense,
other people suffer as much as you do (did?) without losing the objective edge.
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aprilrain

Quote from: Alyx Vox on November 19, 2012, 03:45:33 PM
So, please spare me the emotional nonsense,
other people suffer as much as you do (did?) without losing the objective edge.

what are you talking about, what "emotional nonsense" ???????
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Alyx Vox

aprilrain, if we wish to analyze something objectively
the first thing to go are the emotions that are inherently
subjective. That's what I'm talking about.

That's why I'm not a big fan of rhetoric when it comes to
a debate or, the non-existent god forbid, the polemics.
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aprilrain

your posts are making less sense to me as we go.

My PERSONAL experience is that MY gender ID and MY sexuality are tied to each other, not reliant but still intrinsically linked. You can tell me that my experience is wrong all you want that will not change the way I feel about the subject. You are welcome to have your own experience and I'm OK with it being different than mine.
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Alyx Vox

Quote from: aprilrain on November 19, 2012, 05:07:35 PM
your posts are making less sense to me as we go.

My PERSONAL experience is that MY gender ID and MY sexuality are tied to each other, not reliant but still intrinsically linked. You can tell me that my experience is wrong all you want that will not change the way I feel about the subject. You are welcome to have your own experience and I'm OK with it being different than mine.

That kind of talk is what I'm referring to.
Objectivity on the other hand is something we can all agree upon
under the weight of facts and logical reasoning.
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aprilrain

Quote from: Alyx Vox on November 19, 2012, 05:21:41 PM
That kind of talk is what I'm referring to.
Objectivity on the other hand is something we can all agree upon
under the weight of facts and logical reasoning.

yes dear
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Alyx Vox

I should clarify my position, as I see I'm being mocked here,
which I don't have a problem with.

I'm arguing that both these concepts are independent of one another.
However, independence doesn't imply isolation. Once again I'm arguing
about their definitions, not their relationships. There is a difference.

Both sexuality and gender are perfectly independent of one another,
but they can also work in a perfect tandem, just like everything else in
your body and mind. To argue that they are both dependent of one another,
which is what you're doing here, is a fallacy of composition and a hasty generalization.
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Alainaluvsu

Quote from: Alyx Vox on November 19, 2012, 03:52:23 PM
aprilrain, if we wish to analyze something objectively
the first thing to go are the emotions that are inherently
subjective.

Well there's your problem. You're talking to a bunch of girls that are high on estrogen and you want to throw emotion out the window  ;)

Seriously though, I don't think anybody said they're completely dependent on one another. I am going to say that the way I perform in bed is COMPLETELY linked to my gender ID. I never could, and never will perform a typical guy role in bed. Not that straight women couldn't with a man... but with all the uncomfortable feelings that I'd get penetrating anybody, or having my sexual organs touched in any way... I'd get flashbacks of being a boy!! It's just not something I could do. So in that sense yes, our sexual function CAN be linked to our gender identity.

Maybe it's not sexual orientation per se, but sexual roles are DEFINITELY linked to gender identity for many of us straight girls I imagine. And I can imagine for those of us that sat in the bathtub when we were 3 and 4 years old trying to sit on our penises so they wouldn't show (yeah I did that...), any acknowledgement of having a penis as a function of sex (or anything positive) is a traumatic event!
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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Alyx Vox

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on November 20, 2012, 03:00:13 AM
Well there's your problem. You're talking to a bunch of girls that are high on estrogen and you want to throw emotion out the window  ;)

Seriously though, I don't think anybody said they're completely dependent on one another. I am going to say that the way I perform in bed is COMPLETELY linked to my gender ID...

Yeah, no argument there, as I said I was talking about definitions (entities) and not relationships (links). I should've just clarified myself earlier, because I see there were a lot of misunderstandings from both sides since my original post.

Being controlled by emotions as opposed to being emotionally intelligent in females is one stereotype I would like break. I'm a thinker, always was, emotions to me will always come second. Not to say I don't want to have feelings, no. One of the reasons I want to transition is that I was dead inside before realizing I was a transsexual. I'm more happy now than I ever was.

Still there are parts of my "male" personality I would like to keep, such as emotional intelligence (and just plain old intelligence), my extreme confidence and boldness, not being afraid to speak my mind, being in control of myself and not being submissive unless I want to be submissive.

Not that I was much of a man up to this point. It's not like I was drinking beer with buddies on a regular basis, talking about football and chasing skirts in the meantime or enjoying any kind of competition and being dominative. But the very deep core of my personality I would like to keep, otherwise I'm betraying myself and you should never do that.
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eli77

Quote from: Alainaluvsu on November 20, 2012, 03:00:13 AM
Well there's your problem. You're talking to a bunch of girls that are high on estrogen and you want to throw emotion out the window  ;)

Seriously though, I don't think anybody said they're completely dependent on one another. I am going to say that the way I perform in bed is COMPLETELY linked to my gender ID. I never could, and never will perform a typical guy role in bed. Not that straight women couldn't with a man... but with all the uncomfortable feelings that I'd get penetrating anybody, or having my sexual organs touched in any way... I'd get flashbacks of being a boy!! It's just not something I could do. So in that sense yes, our sexual function CAN be linked to our gender identity.

Maybe it's not sexual orientation per se, but sexual roles are DEFINITELY linked to gender identity for many of us straight girls I imagine. And I can imagine for those of us that sat in the bathtub when we were 3 and 4 years old trying to sit on our penises so they wouldn't show (yeah I did that...), any acknowledgement of having a penis as a function of sex (or anything positive) is a traumatic event!

I don't think that's dependent on orientation. There are gay girls who feel/felt the same way.
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Alainaluvsu

Quote from: Alyx Vox on November 20, 2012, 03:33:19 AM
Being controlled by emotions as opposed to being emotionally intelligent in females is one stereotype I would like break.

Estrogen changed that for me totally. I couldn't help it. I can't argue angrily without screaming now, when before I was always cool and even tempered.  But the hormone effects us all in different ways.  It was a joke anyways :)

Quote from: Sarah7 on November 20, 2012, 09:32:12 AM
I don't think that's dependent on orientation. There are gay girls who feel/felt the same way.

I'm sure. But I was kinda giving reason behind why they're linked for some us.
To dream of the person you would like to be is to waste the person you are.



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