Hi Spring0721, That is some great advice however belly fat or a flat butt doesn't change your gender.
The difficulties that women who transition face go much farther than appearance issues. When you are transitioned a rumor or some information about your history can destroy your relationships, career, friendships, etc.
I remember a female friend heard the rumor that I had transitioned, she proceeded to explain to me how to wipe my butt after going to the bathroom, front to back. As if I would naturally be too ignorant to figure out how to do that on my own because... implication being, "I am really just a man playing a woman."
I have had SRS, FFS, BAS and I have been on hormones since 2000. I was in a bar where I worked and a guy was telling me, "I can tell you are a man by your shoulders, hands, height, pelvis, feet... Then he tells me he wouldn't ever have sex with me because he isn't gay and then directs me to his friend saying, "My friend here is bissexual, he will give it to you. (Keep in mind I was just working, I wasn't soliciting sex.)
Group think tells us that we have to convince Society that men can become women but we contradict ourselves, saying we were never men to begin with (typically). So in social interactions where we feel risk is involved we frequently decide to play it "safe" and confess that we are men who became women. But Society doesn't believe that men can become women, Society believes that men can become trans women which is a whole different thing. However many of us don't transition to be trans women.
And many men have zero interest in dating trans women because they do not consider trans women to be women. And truthfully it isn't something where we can make a broad generalization either way and instead it is something more personal and tends to be evaluated on a case by case basis. In other words does transsexual woman X seem like a female to you? Would you date her or consider female? Would you marry transsexual woman X, would you risk being seen with her knowing it might change other people's perception of your sexual orientation?
So it goes deeper than a flat butt or some belly fat.
I use women who were born female as my role model. Just like women who were born female I will never admit to being a man or a transsexual woman. Do I pass 100%? No... I don't. But there is so much trans-awareness these days that many women who were born female don't pass either so I just stick to the truth I adopted long ago, I have always been female. I don't add in the part about that being why I transitioned.
Life is what you make it. My prescription won't work for people who haven't finished transition. People who have not finished transition tend to feel like they are harboring secrets. If someone is serious about living the life of her target sex then she will do everything possible to have that life, including moving and exchanging old friends and associates, coworkers... for new ones. Many of us compromise and spend the rest of our lives disappointed.
Essentially you can't tell Society that you are a man who became a woman and be accepted as female. There is a feeling that we are damned if we do and damned if we don't. It is possible to find men who will accept us. It is also possible to accept ourselves as female and to no longer need acceptance from others. I feel that the best option for myself is self-acceptance, I accept myself as female, as a woman. And other people are expected to do the same however I don't contradict myself anymore or send mixed messages that people can't wrap their minds around. I am just another vanilla woman out there 24/7. I don't confess to being anything other than that.
If someone noticed my scars down there I would ask, "Are you trying to say you don't love me anymore?" I would never allow it to become a conversation that changed my gender. I would also avoid lying. In my own opinion lying is lazy. Don't get me wrong I have lied before and I would do it again but with someone who is supposed to love me there are alternatives like I mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph.
