What a long strange trip it's been

[Shelly-Joe]

Hi everyone I am Shelly Jo and I am a transsexual woman who is now preparing my life for the new life of being me. The real me cannot not bare life of living in a constant struggle and instead know it's time for me to finally accept who I am. I knew as did my late mother did when I was only 4 years old that I was a girl, she never minded me wearing her shoes and dresses but omg when I came down the stairs one summer night at age 5 in a dress and heels so I could show my daddy how pretty I was my mother jumped up grabbed me and ran me away from my attempt to show my daddy me. My mother told me as I was growing up that it and the way I was and am was just a phase and it would pass, I tried talking to her long after my dad left my mom about who I am inside but she wouldn't hear a word of it. I married two women in my life trying to change me thinking she was right even though I knew she was wrong, yes I thought that she might have been right but both marriages failed and both knew who I really was but neither of them complained and they both were actually into it as if they thought of it as a game at first but they changed I didn't. My second wife just recently passed away and I have always known this day was coming and here I am world. I had always dreamed that I was going to have this chance, the chance to be the woman I am. I painted my toe-nails last night neon pink and I am so thrilled, it's so much of a feeling of freedom and knowing that even my only child, my son accepts me and he knows he even called me, "mom" tonight.....hehe I am sorry I jabbered away here, just feel good now and tonight is a good night indeed. Thank you.

[Jamiep]

Shelley, welcome, you are going to meet a lot of supportive family that share your path and check out the resources here. Inspite of unfortunate failed marriage you have and accepting son which is a treasure. Now you can start on the road to authenticate the real you. Explore, ask, communicate and look forward to your posts.
Enjoy.
Jamiep

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

Hi Shelly,

Welcome to our little family. Over 9097 strong. That would be one heck of a family reunion.

Feel free to post your successes/failures, Hopes/dreams.  Ask questions and seek answers. Give and receive advice.

But remember we are family here, your family now. And it is always nice to have another sister.

And be sure to check out these links ( MUST READS )

• Site Terms of Service and rules to live by
  
• Standard Terms and Definitions
  
• Post Ranks ( including when you can upload an avatar)
  
• Reputation Rules
  
• Age and the Forum
  
• Photo, avatars, and signature images policy
  

Janet 

[Solaela]

Welcome to our family! *waves* I hope we all get along just fine! Glad to see that people close to you like your son are accepting of you as a woman. :3

[Shelly-Joe]

Oh thank you all who have read my post and to you, "Jamiep" "Ms. OBrien" & "Solaela" for your kind words & welcomes to the family. I have needed to here or wish I had been here a long time ago but I came when I was able to be me finally. As for my past so called failed marriages I appreciate your words of comfort but these two women knew and tried to fully grasp me but my first wife left me because she actually wanted to have sex with women and men and for it karma bit her on the bum and she acquired herpes herpes that which she suffers from still to this day and she acquired this disease 1.4 years after she left me, and as for my second wife she was more supportive and at times accepted me for me but she passed away in here sleep, so our ending was filled with love and I still love her but she's now only watching over me and our son. Now as for my son whom I am blessed to have is still a teenager and yes he fully accepts me but he every now and then laughs and when I saw, "what" he just says, "since you opened up to me I now see your mannerisms and you feminism's such as gestures or even when as he puts it, "you roll your eye's like all the girls" which is what he thinks is funny because he says he now he always saw her in me. He told me, "I support you and accept you but if you go all the way, well I guess I'll have to start calling you mom, right?" I just hug him and thank him for being such a good son &  little man. G-d truly guides the righteous and wants our happiness and I am blessed to have Nickolas as my son and now that his mother passed away I have become the supportive woman he needs.

[gennee]

Hi Shelly and welcome. I read your post and was so happy  for you. I'm sure that you feel so much happier about your life now that you are being your authentic self. I congratulate you.

[Devlyn]

Hi Shelly, it's nice to meet you! Thanks for sharing your experiences with us. See you around the site, hugs, Devlyn

[Catherine Sarah]

Hi Shelly Joe,

A big Aussie welcome to Susan's family. It's good of you to drop in and say "Hi". Hope you like it here, and you stay for a while.

There is a mountain of information, resources and friendship waiting for you here, you just need to jump in start talking and ask any question you like. You're quite safe here and we are very accepting.

Good to hear you are coming to terms with who you are. That's the most exciting part of life. It's where it all begins.

Looking forward to hearing more of your story in time to come, but in the meantime, be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

[Jamiep]

Shelley-Joe,

Sorry to hear about the passing of your second wife. We never have a choice as to how we are going to pass, but the way you said it sounds like your wife passed painless and peaceful in her sleep at home. That would be the ideal way. My grandmother passed that way. I am sure your wife is looking down on you and your son.

Jamie

[Shelly-Joe]

Shelley-Joe,

Sorry to hear about the passing of your second wife. We never have a choice as to how we are going to pass, but the way you said it sounds like your wife passed painless and peaceful in her sleep at home. That would be the ideal way. My grandmother passed that way. I am sure your wife is looking down on you and your son.

Jamie

Aweeeeeeeeee thank you so much, we really loved each other and she accepted me for me, in fact she loved it, hehe. Anywho G-d made his choice and I am sorry for your loss "Jamiep" and now it's me and our son Nickolas who accepts me and knows now more about what he didn't know and at times he makes me both sad and happy, I hadn't really thought it would mean so much to him and I say this because he sometimes jokes and it hurts but it's a hard thing to wrap your head around at 14 I guess. I have always known who I am but somethings I withheld from him till now and only recently does he really grasp who I am but I know he loves me dearly so I am sure he'll be fine. He also says, "I know mom is here and I know it because I can feel her." My second wife was only really with all honesty was to have a child but I married her because she was carrying our baby and I wasn't going to have her having a child out of wed-lock, besides she loved dressing me and doing my make-up hehe she was fun and missed. Thanks again to all for your welcomes and greetings, I feel the love.

[Jamiep]

Hey Shelley-Joe,

You are welcome & thanks for your kind words re the passing of my grandmother. A strong woman that taught me a lot. Even my supportive wife finds it difficult to wrap her head around my gender expression too, so I can imagine how trying it is for your Nickolas. He seems clairvoyant about his Mom and feels her love. You are blessed that you had a special lady, your wife that accepted you that dressed her gender, wanted you that way and assisted in dressing & making you up. Totally awesome! My wife has done that too, passed on some of her clothes to me and have shopped for clothes together. May your fun wife always be with you.

Hugs
Jamie

[Jamie D]

Shelly-Joe, nice to meet you.  I know you continue to be a loving and supportive patent.  You have quite a son.  Good luck to you.

[Shelly-Joe]

Thanks sisters for all your kind words, omg it's so cool that I found this site your all so supportive and kind. Also I know I am truly blessed because I had a wife who gave me the son I couldn't myself have and she was like my bestest friend in the world although when she died I took a razor to all her clothes my son Nickolas said, "Why are you doing this to Mom's clothes?" Because I said, "This way no one can ever fill or wear her clothes, but I did however kept her makeup, sorry but it's so expensive you know and she would have loved or loves the fact I wear her makeup (hehe) silly I know but she left so much and gave me her my inner self the freedom and accepted me for who I am. Oh and yes she is here in spirit helping me in ways that are hard to explain, I just know that I don't think no more like a man who was married to a woman who accepted me but now I feel like a mother now to Nickolas and it's hard because I know I am not and no one can replace her but he asked me so many times already, "Can I call you mom?" Idunno I snapped at him sorta and didn't get mad just told him, "No one can ever be Mom but your mother, me........Idunno Nickolas I said, "Maybe you might need to one day, I mean Nickolas what are people going to think if here I am standing in high heels and in a skirt at your graduation from college and you call me "Dad" like don't you think people are going to look at you and me like were crazy?" He agreed so I told him we'll cross that bridge when we get there, ok? He agreed. He is such a good little boy he even complimented my feet tonight he said, "Wow your feet look so pretty." (painted French & pink)I actually blushed but felt good hearing my own son telling me and showing me in his behaviours toward me, Shelly and accepting me each and everyday that passes, I don't know but I know that I am a truly blessed girl for having a son and a son who accepts me for me, Shelly Joe. I hope everything I post helps and not just me chatting boxxxy-ing you ears off all about me but I pray my words give hope to others who want a child that yes it can happen for you to, I know I am proof that if you want something you can have it, good luck sisters.

[DietFresca]

Welcome Shelley!!

I'm glad you've found a place where you can feel comfortable being you, I'm liking this place quite a bit too...