Hello to everyone. My name is spankey. It is really hard to tell my story. I will give it a try. I don't wish to upset or anger anyone, but it is my story and it is honest and real. Sometimes I cry over my story and sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I think I am crazy and sometimes I feel awesome. All I know is that has been a heck of a journey. I am 43 years old. I was introduced to a life style called BDSM. I was a submissive slave boy, and I took to that role like a fish does to water. I won't get into a long dialogue about that. The bottom line was that I became a cross dresser and sissy boy and I loved it. As time went on, My Mistress/Owner, ( I know some of you might think this strange). wanted to have me castrated. I was castrated and feminized. Eventually my life changed when my Mistress decided she did not want me anymore. I served others but was unfulfilled. I was living as a male with no testicles. I had to be put on Testosterone so I would not get Osteoporosis. After I began taking Testosterone I found that I was angry most of the time. I began to hate my genitals and wanted to go back and live as a sissy boy. I tried to transition alone, and I almost ended up dead. I became alone, depressed, and I wanted to live no more. A friend of mine directed me to a Transgender Doctor and counselor. Best thing that ever happened to me in a long time. She put me on a very low dose of estrogen and I began therapy. It has been two years and my journey is continuing. I am now living as a Female and will do this for a year, She has shown me the standard of care for these matters. I have saved enough now so I will be able to have surgery on my genitals as well as my face and breasts. My Doctor/Counselor is stressing over and over and over again, to go slow. I am listening to her because of my past experiences. I trust her and by the end of 2013 if all goes well I will be living as a Total Female. Soon she is going to raise the levels of Estrogen so Female traits will begin to show, to everyone.
I am a bit afraid and anxious, but I know that I am a Female and so it must come to past. Thank you for listening, spankey
