Stopping antianxiety meds...

[Apples Mk.II]

I don't know what to do. When one month ago the BDD reached its peak, The major depresived episodes followed one after another. Until I was able to get a bit of peace with the therapy, I was given daily citalopram (1/2 pill) and lorazepam for emergencies.

The episodes started when I moved from having no sef-image to a completely distorted one. One day I think my ears protrude too much, the next one  it's my legs that look too arched, others I think on a weird ribcage... The obscene anxiety attacks come when I start thinking about why I did not transition earlier and If have wasted most of my life and now i will end looking as a monster after transition, thinking that not even with HRT and surgery i will look passable.

When I visited the therapist, she checked my file and asked me to double the daily dosage, that it was not enough. The truth is, I keep forgetting about the daily pill half of the day. Ever since I started the therapy, went into physical rehab for my poor skeleton, I started feeling better. But the meds make me slow, urge me to overeat...

I'm thinking of stopping with the daily pill and see what happens, if the anxiety comes back or I can live without that crutch. I may keep the lorazepam one for emergencies..

I don't know, It's just that I hate being dependent on meds. If I manage to recover my old lifestyle, I would have my head busy enough as to avoid over thinking about self image issues.

[spacial]

Don't just stop the pills love. Have a word with your Dr.

The citalopram is one of the groups called SSRIs and it really isn't safe to simply stop it.

I was on them, for a short time myself, a couple of years ago. I understand some of the side effects. But it is necessary be be a wee bit careful with these.

[Apples Mk.II]

I fail to understand. I was on 1/2 a pill and I was perfect. And she asked me to double the dosage. Now I feel artificially happy. I know, it was too much to bear. The job continuity problems, GID, BDD, feeling alone and not being able to talk...

She was thinking that 1/2 pill was not enough, but if I was doing ok with that... I specifically asked for a small dosage because I did not want it to lower my concentration. At one full pill I space out and over relax.

[Lucky Peach]

I quit my Prozac cold turkey without telling anyone way back when. It was not fun with mood swings, feeling sick, hyper-anxiety, etc and it lasted for a bit. In hindsight I would definitely say talk to your doc who should be able to help you wean down slowly, especially with drugs that alter brain chemistry. It can be a pretty tough shock to the system to just stop

[Apples Mk.II]

The only thing that keeps me from stopping is the fear of the anxiety attacks coming back. I still have weird obsessive BDD attacks, but I don't get into total depression and crying, not knowing what to do.

I still don't know what happened one month ago, if if was DHT blockers induced depression or what, but one thing is sure: On 1/2 pill I was perfect. On a full one I'm spacing out, fattening, and an artificial peace of mind, not reacting properly. If they though half was doing practically nothing, then I was improving on my own with a placebo effect.

I'm going back to the previous dosage. I'll mention it on the next session and see if I can get the doctors to stop them

[Apples Mk.II]

Talked with my doctor about reducing the dosage. During one or two weeks I'll go back to my previous one, and try to see how I respond.

It's just too many side effects. Ever since I started with those thing I don't move, find any enjoyment in life, can't exercise and they make me eat too much. I have moved from an excess of anxiety to apathy and lethargy. Not to mention the difficulty to sleep, urinary problems, anhedonia, libido even more messed up...