Latest hurdle in my transition

[Lady_Oracle]

Well so far after about 9 months of hrt. My body is definitely feminine now and face. I hide all of my features tho by wearing baggy clothes since I'm not full time yet. I could be but my annoying amount of facial hair is preventing me from going full time and it sucks so much But I'm staying optimistic, saving money and hopefully I can start laser in the next month. I do have my make up techniques down but I can't deal with the idea of going full time having a full set of shadow being constantly covered by make up. So right now I'm part time, full time at home. But in public gotta display boy mode.

I've been thinking just saying screw it all and just do it. I have my voice down. Everything is basically good to go except for the facial hair. I do want to get srs but as we all know. It's ridiculously expensive, maybe in about 4 years.

[suzifrommd]

L.O., I'm not an expert in going full time (I'm very part time) but I have a pretty thick facial hair growth. When I shave myself close and put on a coat of foundation, no one can tell that I have facial hair.

[Lady_Oracle]

Yeah me too. I just recently got a new foundation brush and it works wonders for covering my shadow. I love makeup but I just can't do it every single day just to cover it up . I have been slowly reducing how visible my shadow is by exfoliating but the chin area is still pretty visible

[JessicaH]

Where do you live? I see really good deals all the time for laser.  I've had two treatments and could easily cover the remaining shadow with makeup and it grows so much slower now that it wouldnt be a problem to shave every morning and not be a problem during the day. I go days at a time without shaving now but I'm not full time.

[Stephe]

I've been thinking just saying screw it all and just do it. I have my voice down. Everything is basically good to go except for the facial hair. I do want to get srs but as we all know. It's ridiculously expensive, maybe in about 4 years.

Until you go full time, you can continue to find reasons/excuses not to do it. I went full time pre-everything (no HRT etc) and am glad I did. I vote for not waiting.

[suzifrommd]

Until you go full time, you can continue to find reasons/excuses not to do it. I went full time pre-everything (no HRT etc) and am glad I did. I vote for not waiting.

It's a question I'm asking myself too. What if I'm not passing, will I still go full time? At this point, my thinking is that I'd rather be a non-passing full-time transgender woman than a fully passing pretend man.

[Emily Aster]

Until you go full time, you can continue to find reasons/excuses not to do it. I went full time pre-everything (no HRT etc) and am glad I did. I vote for not waiting.

Wish I had that kind of courage. I've been shedding one defense at a time, waiting till I don't care, then moving on to the next. I'm still pre-everything too.

[Stephe]

It's a question I'm asking myself too. What if I'm not passing, will I still go full time? At this point, my thinking is that I'd rather be a non-passing full-time transgender woman than a fully passing pretend man.

There is SO much more to "passing" and being accepted as a woman than simply appearance. What pushed me over the edge was being part time. I felt soooo good when I was living as a woman/my true self, the crash landing back into pretending I am a guy became too much. At some point it does take a leap of faith and almost every -report- I have ever read, people say "It was a total non-issue once I did it". I don't think I could ever get to where I am today if I hadn't been living full time as I refined myself.

We assume everyone is focused on our lives, they really aren't. We just aren't that important to most people. Look and act reasonable for you surroundings, have a voice that somewhat matches your appearance etc and you will blend in as just another woman.

[Lady_Oracle]

Until you go full time, you can continue to find reasons/excuses not to do it. I went full time pre-everything (no HRT etc) and am glad I did. I vote for not waiting.

I know but it's so tough though. It's funny before hrt I would go out to the mall. Even a few clubs in girl mode. But then I started hrt and the massive self confidence I had went down the drain. I became a hermit  and very self conscience. It's going away, I've been slowly building myself back up.  All in due time tho I still have yet to change my name. And since I live in the bible belt. I'm extremely cautious as to how I go about everything. Since I'm still looking for a steady job

[Stephe]

But then I started hrt and the massive self confidence I had went down the drain. I became a hermit  and very self conscience.

That isn't good. You need to force yourself to go out. As I was saying, there is a lot more to "passing" that appearance and self confidence is at least 50% of it.

[Misato]

I'd say don't rush.  If you're not ready, you're not ready, and the risk of having a bad time in that case is high.  Should crap happen you need self confidence in who you are to stand on.

Yesterday I called and ordered a pizza for pickup, placing the order under my female name.  The clerk clocked my voice on the phone and kept saying "he's" to me.  Not too long ago I would have gotten all down about that but I went out my door wearing my nylons, houndstooth mini skirt & turtle neck sweater and got my pizza.  Indeed, two years ago I was walking and saw a glimpse of myself in a mirror and I ran home cause I felt so bad.  The difference is confidence.  Now I can be ok about all the things that made me feel bad in that mirror.

It's okay to take your time.  Just do make progress cause girl, it's really nice to be on this side (though FT for me is Jan 11th, with work on the 14th).