Susan's Place Logo

News:

Visit our Discord server  and Wiki

Main Menu

Good news on the parent front.

Started by MaidofOrleans, December 12, 2012, 12:45:58 AM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

MaidofOrleans

So I visited my parents this weekend, this coming about a week after a particularly heated argument over them calling me by my new name the following weekend. I was actually going to apologize for being as rude (I was quite rude but probably also a bit emotional from hormones)  as I was as well as help decorate and Xmas tree and have dinner. However there was a twist, I was going to show up as their daughter and not their son. They had never seen me before as a woman and frankly have been against ever seeing me as one unless they had to. I guess it was sort of a bold move on my part...

I got as girled up as possible and put on nice clothes (well nice by my standards) and just showed up. Their initial reaction was kind of a deer in the headlights as I walked in like they couldn't really believe what they were seeing and basically just said and I quote

"wow"

So i'm like "is that a good wow or a bad wow" apparently it was a good wow or just a wow. We sat on the couches and talked. My dad whose opinion I was afraid of the most basically told me I was gorgeous and that he would never have recognized me.

Major confidence boost there.

They started trying to use my new name and use proper pronouns throughout the night and even invited their daughter to Christmas with the family and friends. I guess I must have made an impression for them to go from "no you cant be seen dressing like that" to "ya we don't mind if you come with us to our friends home for dinner"
"For transpeople, using the right pronoun is NOT simply a 'political correctness' issue. It's core to the entire struggle transpeople go through. Using the wrong pronoun means 'I don't recognize you as who you are.' It means 'I think you're confused, delusional, or mentally I'll.'. It means 'you're not important enough for me to acknowledge your struggle.'"
  •  

jacqueline_rose

Congratulations! I wanted to write more but I couldnt think of anything more appropriate. I wish you happiness, all the luck in the world, and love as you move forward with your family.
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost (The Road Not Taken)
  •  

ashley_thomas

That's fantastic, so glad to hear it!
  •  

Brooke777

That is such a great story. I'm so happy it went well for you.
  •  

silly by the seashore

That's great news, especially for this time of year when you do tend to want to be around family.

And their reaction does reinforce one thing and I hope no one crucifies me for this, but passibility and attractiveness does help a lot with acceptance. I'm sure they simply were not expecting what they got when they imagined it in their minds before.
  •  

MaidofOrleans

Quote from: silly by the seashore on December 12, 2012, 11:34:47 AM
That's great news, especially for this time of year when you do tend to want to be around family.

And their reaction does reinforce one thing and I hope no one crucifies me for this, but passibility and attractiveness does help a lot with acceptance. I'm sure they simply were not expecting what they got when they imagined it in their minds before.

This is true, passability and attractiveness are a big factor. I think they thought I was going to look goofy/ridiculous and they had a negative picture in my head but when I shattered that it made them less conscious of the fear of what others would think. Some of it stems from fear of judgement of their child but also fear of others judging them.
"For transpeople, using the right pronoun is NOT simply a 'political correctness' issue. It's core to the entire struggle transpeople go through. Using the wrong pronoun means 'I don't recognize you as who you are.' It means 'I think you're confused, delusional, or mentally I'll.'. It means 'you're not important enough for me to acknowledge your struggle.'"
  •