Holding doors

[unknown]

This is kinda surprising me. Do people really get offended by people holding doors 

I'm really polite and I tend to hold a lot of doors. People normally smile and thank me, but I have read so many negative things about this on the internet. People say it's sexist and shows men are over women and that women are weak. What? Why? It's like saying men that talks to women just do this because he thinks she is sexy and wants to rape her. I have also seen a lot of ftms be really offended by this (or maybe sad that they don't pass?). I have heard people that refused to use the door because of another person holding it. He what probably just trying to be kind and nothing else. Poor guy  .

This kinda makes me think if people hate me for holding doors to people sometimes. Why can't people think: That was a kind person holding the door for me  and not: That sexist pig of a man just tried to hold the door for me! He can burn in hell  .

[Apples Mk.II]

It is the normal thing to do, regardless of gender, race or age. We all do it around here for everybody. It is just a matter of common sense and respect.

[Ms. OBrien CVT]

It is common courtesy here.  And if someone is offend by that then they can get glad in the same shorts they got mad in.

[Devlyn]

I'm so glad you started this topic! I grew up near Boston, almost everyone reflexively looks back, and if anyone at all is even vaguely close, you hold the door. It's just common courtesy, nothing to do with gender at all. Hugs, Devlyn

[aleon515]

Here in New Mexico (I think somewhat more casual than the east coast) it is not common for women to open doors for men, at least my observation. I think sometimes people do this and kind of smile like they are doing something off gender. Once I opened the door for a guy with a huge package. He said, "thanks, I didn't know I looked so helpless."

So here I am not offended but I associate it with people IDing me as female. I feel it is a common courtesy and not really a sexist thing.

--Jay

[AdamMLP]

If someone's behind me then I hold the door.  I've never considered it a male/female behaviour, or whether it's something that you should do for a male/female.  It takes less than three seconds, helps someone else and stops you looking like a selfish douchebag.

[muffinpants]

If someone's behind me then I hold the door.  I've never considered it a male/female behavior, or whether it's something that you should do for a male/female.  It takes less than three seconds, helps someone else and stops you looking like a selfish douchebag.

I think this is pretty spot on. But personally, I don't always like having the door held open for me. Like when someone far ahead of me holds open a door and I have to run up after them so they don't have to wait a century for me to dally on up to them. And whenever I go to wawa and go inside to get coffee or whatever, it is a door-holding frenzy. Too many people doing it at the same time, it's weird lol. But otherwise, yeah it just seems like a common courtesy.

[Kevin Peña]

I for one hold the door open and wait, regardless of how slow the person is. 

Anyone who says that door holding is sexist can kick rocks. 

[Devlyn]

I'm getting the idea that people who think holding doors isn't normal human behaviour are the vocal minority.

[DriftingCrow]

I'm so glad you started this topic! I grew up near Boston, almost everyone reflexively looks back, and if anyone at all is even vaguely close, you hold the door. It's just common courtesy, nothing to do with gender at all. Hugs, Devlyn

I am from the same area as you, and I hold the door (and elevator!) for people no matter their gender. Even if I am dressed extremely girly, I always hold it for men or women, especially if they're carrying stuff.

I think this is pretty spot on. But personally, I don't always like having the door held open for me. Like when someone far ahead of me holds open a door and I have to run up after them so they don't have to wait a century for me to dally on up to them. And whenever I go to wawa and go inside to get coffee or whatever, it is a door-holding frenzy. Too many people doing it at the same time, it's weird lol. But otherwise, yeah it just seems like a common courtesy.

Yes, I hate having to try to catch up. I think if someone is really far ahead, they should only hold it if your hands are full and would have a hard time opening the door on your own.

I think the whole door issue is one of those leftover "evil feminist" myths.

[Shantel]

Men and women hold doors for each other here as a common curtesy. What bugs me though is when I'm on foot and a car approaches and I wave them on and then they persist in sitting there until I have to hustle across when I really wanted to just dwadldle across in my own time. They're just taking it to extremes and rather than making me feel good, I feel irritated at them for being such dips!

[Jenny07]

While I like to be polite an hold doors open when needed, what irks me are people who jam an arm in the lift doors as it is closing for the third time so they don't have to wait for the next one.
I would like to see lifts with teeth, that would make them think twice. 
I see it nearly every day at work!
It is just plain rude of people, irrespective of gender or anything else.

[DriftingCrow]

While I like to be polite an hold doors open when needed, what irks me are people who jam an arm in the lift doors as it is closing for the third time so they don't have to wait for the next one.
I would like to see lifts with teeth, that would make them think twice. 
I see it nearly every day at work!
It is just plain rude of people, irrespective of gender or anything else.

Yeah I don't do that if it's already closing and I am not on it. I hate it when it's already packed and yet people just keep squeezing themselves in. I usually just try to avoid it altogether and just take the stairs, it's good exercise anyway.

[Devlyn]

I won't post a link as there is a fatality involved, but search "Wheelchair falls down elevator shaft" to see an idiots last action involving doors.

[DriftingCrow]

I won't post a link as there is a fatality involved, but search "Wheelchair falls down elevator shaft" to see an idiots last action involving doors.

Yeah I remember hearing that awhile back on PRI, I think he was angry because someone didn't hold it for him. You should always hold the lift and get off it if needed for someone who's disabled, but still, some people need to chill out.

[Kevin Peña]

I saw that video too. Honestly, if your legs work, why do you need an elevator to go down?

[muffinpants]

Yikes! That elevator story is horrible.. but why was he so mad to miss an elevator? It only takes like a minute to come back. But now that we are on the subject of elevators, I hate when people hold the elevator up just to go to the second floor. I try not to judge them cus you never know if a person might have a medical condition or not, but I'm guessing most of them don't!

[Simon]

I won't post a link as there is a fatality involved, but search "Wheelchair falls down elevator shaft" to see an idiots last action involving doors.

I just looked at the video on YT and this might sound cold but served him right.

Also, I will admit when I hold a door it is generally for the elderly, pregnant, or disabled. I always hold it for them. Anyone else I won't let it slam in their face as they walk in behind me (I glance back before letting the door go).

[Stephe]

I have no problem someone holding, opening or any of the above a door for me. Guys in the south will always open a door for a lady and wait for them to walk in. I always thank them. I will hold a door if someone is fairly close, I won't "make then run" holding it if they are too far away. Plus I normally don't hold a door and wait for a guy. If one is close by I will give it an extra push open for them.

[V M]

Holding a door for someone whither male or female is just common courtesy imo    I notice that more folks tend to hold doors for me since I started transitioning

Not sure if that means I pass or not but it is nice to be treated with some kindness and consideration