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What Does Masculininity and Femininity Mean to You Personally?

Started by DrillQuip, December 11, 2012, 11:56:40 AM

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Emily Aster

If I had seen this thread just a few months ago, I would have had clear cut ideas in my head about the differences, but I don't anymore. I've come to know myself a lot better and to realize that those differences I believed are just garbage. I believe there's a good reason for why society has these constraints, but I really can't describe it accurately because I'm not good with words and I'll just offend someone. My self image has very little to do with masculinity or femininity these days. It's more about how I feel and how I perceive myself. I really can't describe that either other than to say I just know I should be a woman and I'm finally able to accept that.
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Kevin Peña

Wow, some ladies really hate men. I for one never thought that we could advance if one side hated the other. It's like if minorities hate white people. It's still racism, and it's still bad, but it's "ok" since it's the other way around.

For example, society used to be matriarchal, and women were dominant. Heck, the queen even selected an annual sacred king through physical competition, who would be killed at the end of the year to have his blood spread over crops for a good harvest.  :-\

Call me a hippie, but I think we should all just get along.

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Dawn Heart

Quote from: Emily52736 on December 27, 2012, 07:45:52 AM
If I had seen this thread just a few months ago, I would have had clear cut ideas in my head about the differences, but I don't anymore. I've come to know myself a lot better and to realize that those differences I believed are just garbage. I believe there's a good reason for why society has these constraints, but I really can't describe it accurately because I'm not good with words and I'll just offend someone. My self image has very little to do with masculinity or femininity these days. It's more about how I feel and how I perceive myself. I really can't describe that either other than to say I just know I should be a woman and I'm finally able to accept that.

Hey Emily, I think you're on to something! When I saw your reply, the first revelation that came to my mind despite what I posted earlier was this: Those differences we all listed are all true but all of them are also false. Each of us has a different perspective and a different way of thinking, so what is true or false for any of us in regards to all of these differences changes as we change, it all changes for all of us as we develop more as people through - out our lifetimes.
There's more to me than what I thought
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lavistaa

Interesting how many takes there are in this theme.  I feel a masculine person defines themselves by how they feel or are inclined to act and their competence at activities especially physical ones but also mental activities which translate into action.   They are more concerned with achieving their goals and assoiate themselves with the outcome more than the impact the achievement or the process of achieving it may have on others.  They are less concerned with others impressions unless those feelings have a chance of impacting them personally.

Feminity on the other hand is more concerned with the outward appearance of something,  including their own personal appearance,  than the so called inherent properties or quantitative quality of the object or process.   At the same time a feminine person is concerned with other people's reaction to outcomes,  goals and processes.  They will work to achieve an outcome but will be more likely to accommodate others even if those others can't directly oppose or thwart them.  They are more likely to recognise the contributions and preferences of others.

Things like the way people move,  talk and socialize are a cultural artifact without imho a direct or unavoidable relationship to male and female.   A lot of what we attribute to gender either physical or behavioural is again imho superimposed on them by our expectations (attribution bias).

The fundamental issue in male vice female is not behavior, appearance, or personality so much as the near universal assumption that 'male' is better or preferred or serves as the baseline by which everything gender and social is measured and at the same time these gender boundaries and impact these imposed, regimented role has on each of us is ignored.  Women, if allowed, can assume the so called male role, act like men and, their bodies not withstanding 'be men'.  Males likewise could fulfill in every way the 'woman's' role if society, male and female, did not look upon this with distaste.
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Zumbagirl

Quote from: DrillQuip on December 11, 2012, 11:56:40 AM
And how do those concepts play into the way you identify yourself?

(I'm not talking about the dictionary or societal definitions of masculine and feminine. I mean your personal definitions. You might be influenced by society but your also influenced by your own family, friends, and personal experiences.)

This is probably going to sound funny coming from someone like me, but personally I do not give a single tiniest thought as to what is considered masculine or feminine. I can do something very girly one minute and maybe manly the next. Who cares? It won't change who I am as a person. One thing I learned is that men can do womanly things and women do manly things. I happen to know quite a few women who love busting their knuckles working on cars. Most won't and a lot of women will be lazy and have boyfriends/husbands do it.

My experience is that there is considerable overlap in the sexes when it comes to any metric one can measure. It's not a single camp of men and a single camp of women. There are outliers and a huge intersection of abilities, traits, etc. I have met genetic women with manly voices or manly figures but it never subtracts from their core identity of thinking of themselves as women. I go to the gym and have seen women who can lift more weights than many men can. They have a knitters club at work and there are men there who enjoy it (I don't but I did when I was a kid).

I think all in all though women have more freedom to express what could only be called as differing gender customs only because there is less pressure on them to act a certain way. There are pockets of places where the taxonomy of gender is strictly defined but those pockets become smaller and smaller every year. In my mind, society is evolving because of this.
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justmeinoz

To me they are roles I perform as the situation requires.  For most of the day I use what I regard as "feminine" attributes, but can shift if need be.

It is complex and totally subjective.

Karen.
"Don't ask me, it was on fire when I lay down on it"
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