Am I Trans or am I delusional?

[Katelyn]

Katelyn, the same happens to me. Specially the not-getting-a-decent-couple fear. But in my case, since I started focusing in my transition, I found revealing things about myself. I found that I failed in all my relationships (and I had many) mostly because of my gender issues. How can you ever be comfortable in a relationship with another person when you're not comfortable with yourself?

You are right, but my yearnings to be with a woman and give and receive affection make me feel desperate. 

About being big and influential... if that's what you want, remember that for every door that closes, another one opens. And anyway... if the cost of having a super-dooper succesful life is my own peace of mind... it's most def not worth it.

I know, but I have these feelings of ambition that are strong at times. 

I certainly wish that I would be female enough to successfully fully transition, and then pursuing my interests as well as having a partner would be much easier, but I can never be certain enough.  I don't want to be "in the middle" genderwise because I won't have the level of acceptance from society that I'll need to do big things and interact with all sorts of people.  I need to be with people, I hate being lonely.  I wish I could reconnect with all of my female self so I'll feel much more confident.

[Anna++]

I am pretty certain of who I am, but it didn't happen overnight, and I certainly had doubts. The dysphoria would come in waves for me, and everytime it had subsided even the slightest I would think that "I beat it, this is gone, I can be normal!" But, it never stayed that way.

I've felt this way, too.  My best guess is that it has something to do with changing levels of hormones in the body.

[Emily Aster]

I had thoughts that I made this stuff up. Told my therapist about it and she made me see the light. People usually make stuff up to make their lives easier, not to turn them into a living hell.

[Freyja_Joro]

I'm feeling this way now, I was always feminine, always enjoyed "girly" things. But I in all of it I lost myself, I was always different so I had many other reasons to blame my "abnormal" behaviour on. ADHD, Anxiety Disorder, Depression, Autistic Traits, et cetera.

I can't live as a male anymore, I don't like my genitals, I hate my shoulders, face, and hips. When I think of my future I see a woman not a man.