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dishwashing job and coming out - help

Started by Josh, December 23, 2012, 03:00:33 PM

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Josh

yo guys, so i quit target cuz i jus couldnt handle the people there/the treatment and gettin up at 3am...7months or so was enough for me. i got a call about a dishwashing job at kome (a very high end japanese restaurant)...it was on craigs list so they called for "brayden" and all...they want me to come in on wednesday, kinda go thru a trial thing to see if they like me and if they do then theyre going to go thru with fillin out papers and hiring process. all i need to wear is black pants, shirt doesnt matter he said, and nonslip shoes...im thinking black khakis, my sneakers, and a polo? im not sure

2 questions - when do i come out as transgender and my legal name being kimberley and not brayden? my license says male, birth certificate says female
what about piercings and tattoos? i have my eyebrow and labret pierced and a forearm tattoo (not worried about my stretched ears since theyre small)
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Siege

Eesh. You lasted on flow team longer than I did. That job was a pain.

I don't think you'd have to worry about the piercings and tattoos too much, especially if you're going to be a dishwasher. I think, generally, if you aren't one to interact with guests like a waiter or greeter (or whatever they're called - the people who seat you), they're more lax on body mods.

And (this is just me) I think your best bet would wait to see if they hire you on a more permanent basis. Then when you have to talk to HR, tell them and ask them to keep it on the down low. Otherwise, I don't think your being trans* is relevant to the position, and they really don't need to know (unless you want to be open with them about it, but even then, wait until they hire you).

Good luck.

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AdamMLP

I don't work for a chain or anything, but my job involves dishwashing among other things.  If that's all the job involves then I can't see why any tatts or piercings will be a problem, and the larger the place is the easier the jobs tend to be (you'll just be washing up, I'm washing up, serving up deserts, waiting, cleaning and soon to get trained at putting together starters as well hopefully.)  As for clothes, it's probably not worth investing in proper non-slip shoes, mine never made any difference, but you'll want something with rubbery tread ideally, floors can get pretty slippery in kitchen's especially around the sinks.  A polo will be fine I think.

Do you know how you're going to get paid?  If it's cash you might not need to reveal your birthname, (I don't know how things work in the states, I know that here you have to fill out a P45 for tax purposes which will need whatever name is used for that sort of stuff), and if you're being paid by cheque/bank transfer then obviously you're going to tell them a name that's going to let you get stuff paid into your account.  Kimberley is a unisex name though, so you could always just tell them when it comes to getting paid/anything else they need a legal name for that legally your name is "Kimberley" but you're going through the process of getting it changed, and they only need it for whatever.  You don't need to mention that you're trans as far as I can see.

And good luck, it's not a hard job or anything, it's just painfully boring.  Or painful if you always forget that the hot tap pumps out water at over 70deg C (158deg F).  It's a good time to just zone out and think about things though, although I can never remember what great philosophical breakthroughs I've made by the time I get out of there.
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Simon

First of all congrats on the new job possibility.

Before I had my legal name change (and was hired) I would ask to speak to the manager in private. This was usually when they wanted to get a copy of my ID's. I would simplify it and act like it wasn't a big deal. "I know you have to have my legal information but I am transgender and that does not reflect who I am. I'm going to be legally be changing my name to Simon and I would prefer to be called that and by male pronouns. I also don't want this to be an issue for myself or anyone else and would prefer to keep this between just you and I (the manager)."

After doing that I never had a problem. I think the managers knew they were the only ones who would know so even if they didn't like it they couldn't say anything since I would have known it was them who had spilled the beans.
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DriftingCrow

As far as I've experienced, employers have never asked me for my birth certificate. If your license says male, and you don't need to show them your birth certificate, why come out as trans? Just say your legal name is Kimberly if that's what is on your drivers license, make some joke about your parents being crazy, and just say you go by Brayden.

I wouldn't wear the piercings for the interview, I'd just take the rings out or put in the glass holders. You probably be okay wearing them at work if you get hired since you'll be in the back, but I probably wouldn't wear them for the first shift just to get a feel for the place.

Nonslip shoes wouldn't be your sneakers. I did waiting at a hotel, and they make you buy special shoes. You can get them at Wal-Mart. They're supposed to be water and oil slip-resistant. WalMart sells the TredSafe brand, which is what I wore to work. They're probably going to be more comfortable than your sneakers, because they're made for standing in for long hours. My pair was sooo comfortable, it made 15-hour work days feel like nothing.
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tvc15

Hey bro I'm a dishwasher at a high-end Japanese restaurant too. Your tatts and piercings won't prevent you from getting hired so don't worry about that. If you want to try being stealth, you can. Just tell them you're changing your name to Brayden because you don't like your birth name even though it is unisex. I can't advise you on how to come out as trans, as I've never done that before. But, I will say, I'm completely stealth at work even with management and all it took was my driver license that said M. My birth cert and SS still say F but they don't check that stuff. Good luck man.

I have to wear the same thing to work--black pants, black shoes, shirt doesn't matter because we wear a white chef coat. It's a dirty job, you'll get soaked. Seriously, invest in the non-slip shoes. I had to wait for my first paycheck to get them and in the meantime I just wore regular shoes. I slipped so many times. Check out Shoes for Crews' website. They have normally-priced shoes that are heavy duty and don't ever slip on wet floors even if they're caked with crap. To the interview, I wore khaki pants and a button-down shirt. Dishwashers don't tend to stick around, so as long as you put in a solid effort you're going to have decent job security.


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