Ellsworth 'Derry' Rundlett, III
Former president, Maine Trial Lawyers Association
The Cold Shoulder at Christmas: Family Holidays With a Transgender Daughter
Posted: 12/20/2012 11:01 am
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ellsworth-derry-rundlett-iii/the-cold-shoulder-at-christmas-family-holidays-with-a-transgender-daughter_b_2338479.htmlI am a senior member of a large blended family that includes step-siblings, exes, in-laws and friends. When I visit my grandchildren, I sometimes quiz them to see whether they can follow the tangled branches of our family tree. I will say something like, "Papa Derry was once married to Grammy Marlys, true or false?" "False!" they will yell, though I can sometimes confuse them with first and second cousins.
Eight years ago, my daughter Nicole introduced a new twist to our motley tribe. She was Nick at the time, the best son a man could ask for, but -- unbeknownst to the rest of the family -- she had always identified as a woman. When Nicole decided to become her authentic self, I was startled and unsure -- but time, education and counseling have made our parent/child relationship stronger than ever. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for our extended family.
Prior to Nicki's transition, Christmas was a delightful family-filled time, with everyone vacationing in one big rented house on the beach or in the mountains. Sometimes there would be as many as 20 people playing games, opening presents, and sharing large dinners. One Christmas, I looked around the dinner table and realized the only person with whom I had a blood relationship was my son, Nick.
