Losing my faith

[Kevin Peña]

If there was a god I would strangle the bastard.

If there was a god, I would kick him/her in the crotch. 

[Shawn Sunshine]

Well I already kicked Satan in the crotch, but it hurt like HELL!

[Shawn Sunshine]

i dont know if this will mean a lot for you and I certainly do not want you to feel as if I am pressuring you, but I am part of the United Church of Christ. We have quite a few transgender pastors.

Here is one of them:



That's Malcolm.

Here is me prepping for Easter last year:



Both of our conferences know we are transgender and we were accepted as clergy without hesitation of our gender identity. Laity...you all have it better.

So trust me...there are a lot of churches who will accept you no matter who you are and no matter what questions you have and no matter what you believe

I agree with Annah on this one, the UCC Church to me is the friendliest and most open about accepting all members of the community. I did go to a MCC church once myself, it was nice, but i felt better being with a mix of people and I just like the services better at UCC

Whatever you do, don't let bad experiences and crap that other humans to do you keep you away from having fellowship.

[Emily Aster]

I've struggled with Religion for as long as I can remember. I was raised in a very strict Southern Baptist home where it was demanded that I attended church four times a week (twice Sunday,Wednesday night,Friday youth group). I attended Christian Summer Camp and at one point I wanted to be a missionary.

As I grew up I developed a interest in studying Theology. I probably know more about different faiths than those who practice them. I've always been analytical and I think that may have been to my detriment. It's hard to believe in a God when the evidence points to the fact that there isn't one. The evidence concludes that despite wishful thinking, hopes, and prayers the sad fact is we are alone.

I desperately want to believe in God. I've tried multiple times to have faith without reasoning. I love the idea of Jesus Christ. I love the stories and to think that God himself came down to die for mankind's salvation is comforting. Being comforting doesn't make it true though.

Anyone else struggle with faith?

Same path I followed, sort of. My family was a mix of Catholic and Methodist and I spent a LOT of time at church. I also wanted to be a pastor and liked research, so I did a lot of research into my own religion. Then I started looking for the origin of it and read other religions. Next thing I knew, I started identifying as agnostic and eventually atheist, although I think agnostic is a better term for me. I went to the extreme for no other reason than because I was tired of people always trying to evangelize me. I definitely still carry a lot of beliefs that came from Christianity and I'm probably one of the few people that has actually read the entire bible more than once, but I don't seem to really believe it as more than a moral compass anymore. I wish I did.

[King Malachite]

I've struggled with Religion for as long as I can remember. I was raised in a very strict Southern Baptist home where it was demanded that I attended church four times a week (twice Sunday,Wednesday night,Friday youth group). I attended Christian Summer Camp and at one point I wanted to be a missionary.

As I grew up I developed a interest in studying Theology. I probably know more about different faiths than those who practice them. I've always been analytical and I think that may have been to my detriment. It's hard to believe in a God when the evidence points to the fact that there isn't one. The evidence concludes that despite wishful thinking, hopes, and prayers the sad fact is we are alone.

I desperately want to believe in God. I've tried multiple times to have faith without reasoning. I love the idea of Jesus Christ. I love the stories and to think that God himself came down to die for mankind's salvation is comforting. Being comforting doesn't make it true though.

Anyone else struggle with faith?

This is a little late but I'm somewhat struggling with a similar issue right now.  I was raised up non-denominational (but closer to Pentacostal) and I was sort of the odd person out in the church and never really felt the Holy Spirit, spoke in tongues, felt the need to jump around, cry etc. I was more like a brick wall,  I'm even one of the Sunday school teachers.  I was raised up Christian and had so many questions about it that went unanswered and for the last few days I've been lurking at an ex Christian forum.  I shouldn't have done that but after reading a lot of their reasons for why they went atheist,  I feel my faith wavering and slowly crumbling but I so really want to keep it when they see the evidence pointing to otherwise. I'm almost afraid to start searching deeper because of this fear. I start to question if I've ever really heard from God or if that was just me.  I asked him to give me a sign to confirm his existance this morning and nothing happened.  However,  I just can't accept that there is no God.  Like Admin said, the thought of a capenter dying on the cross for me just sounds very more cinematic as opposed to some explosion that made the world (though these two events are unrelated).

I don't know.

[Simon]

for the last few days I've been lurking at an ex Christian forum.  I shouldn't have done that but after reading a lot of their reasons for why they went atheist,  I feel my faith wavering and slowly crumbling but I so really want to keep it when they see the evidence pointing to otherwise. I'm almost afraid to start searching deeper because of this fear.

I understand where you're coming from. I've been on a search for a long time and continue to be on one. I hope you find what you're looking for. I've just come to the point where I believe in Christ but I take God in the Old Testament with a grain of salt. The Bible has been changed so many times over the past two centuries that I'm confident that it's not the indelible word of God.

When the mood strikes you to investigate the topic further read all you can. Don't take the fanatical Christian or the unshakeable Atheist's word for it. Both will try to persuade you to their side, but reading and dissecting their views can be helpful.

[Devlyn]

Simon, did you mean centuries or millennia?

[Simon]

Simon, did you mean centuries or millennia?

Millenniums, I'm sure he will understand what I meant.

[Mohini]

This is a little late but I'm somewhat struggling with a similar issue right now.  I was raised up non-denominational (but closer to Pentacostal) and I was sort of the odd person out in the church and never really felt the Holy Spirit, spoke in tongues, felt the need to jump around, cry etc. I was more like a brick wall,  I'm even one of the Sunday school teachers.  I was raised up Christian and had so many questions about it that went unanswered and for the last few days I've been lurking at an ex Christian forum.  I shouldn't have done that but after reading a lot of their reasons for why they went atheist,  I feel my faith wavering and slowly crumbling but I so really want to keep it when they see the evidence pointing to otherwise. I'm almost afraid to start searching deeper because of this fear. I start to question if I've ever really heard from God or if that was just me.  I asked him to give me a sign to confirm his existance this morning and nothing happened.  However,  I just can't accept that there is no God.  Like Admin said, the thought of a capenter dying on the cross for me just sounds very more cinematic as opposed to some explosion that made the world (though these two events are unrelated).

I don't know.

I think reading wholesome books like Pastor Rob Bell's "Love Wins" or Bishop Spong's "Why Christianity Must Change or Die" may help in your journey. Try going to an open-minded church, like the United Church of Christ (UCC), or Disciples of Christ (DoC) may also help.

I grew up to Christian parents (Catholicism specifically), whose parents were Christian, whose parents... you get the point, lol. But I myself am exploring a good church group, and I am still looking. At the moment I am in love with a particular Anglo-Catholic (Anglican) parish that is also socially liberal (queer friendly, female friendly, lower class friendly), but theologically conservative. I am also discerning with the Quakers, and outside Christianity, Unitarian Universalism. I've studied many religions for years.

I consider myself a rationalist and yet religious. In terms of the Bible, I take it 'spiritually'. I am an agnostic theist. I believe in theistic evolution. I don't believe in the Bible as divinely inspired, but that the New Testament is a written record of experiences of the Christ-idea, and grappling with God. In terms of the Crucifixion of Christ, I take the moral influence view of the atonement: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atonement_%28moral_influence_view%29. Christ died to show us that the ultimate religion is to love God, and to love others as ourselves, and to give our lives to help others. His life, ministry, death and resurrection become sacramental mysteries in which we experience death of our ego and self, to be reborn in life and renewal.

The idea that my salvation hangs upon literally believing in blood-appeasement is personally abhorent to me.

Feel free to send me a PM!

[ThetisnFurter]

You shouldn't feel like you have to believe in God.

As for me, I don't believe in made up fairytales, creatures, imaginary characters, including god. They are inventions of human kind. You believe, cause it feels good. Yet, that doesn't good enough make god exist! Anyway, choice is yours.

By the way, since I was born in Turkey I raised in a Muslim family. 

[Mohini]

You shouldn't feel like you have to believe in God.

As for me, I don't believe in made up fairytales, creatures, imaginary characters, including god. They are inventions of human kind. You believe, cause it feels good. Yet, that doesn't good enough make god exist! Anyway, choice is yours.

By the way, since I was born in Turkey I raised in a Muslim family. 

I also agree; it does not matter whether you believe in God or not, as long as you are a good person, do good unto others, and that you try your best in this life. 

[King Malachite]

Thanks everyone.  I've pretty much came to a similar point like yours Simon, where I believe in Jesus (more for security reasons than anything), but I try to keep an open mind concerning the Bible, especially the old testament, since it's pretty much a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy.  I find that being more of a liberal Christian helps me find somewhat of a balance between the fanatical Christian and the unshakable Atheist.  I do hope that I continue to evole in my beliefs and interpretations though.

Try going to an open-minded church, like the United Church of Christ (UCC), or Disciples of Christ (DoC) may also help.

I can't drive just yet so I'm pretty much stuck at the current non-affirming church I go to, but I have been looking more into some UCC churches to view their sermons on Youtube.   It does get a bit confusing when it comes to finding a good sermon since there are different churches.

[Pica Pica]

I had a very strong Christian faith as a child, I used to try and convince my friends in the truth of Christ etc.. etc.. and used to really feel in my heart there was a God and such. The process of losing all that does hurt and there are times that I wish I could have that certainty and solidity even now. To lose a religion is to lose something important.

The fact is, that life makes less sense to me if there was a God, having no God explains the world much better. The belief in God causes more confusion then not. However, there is a little bit of me inside that knows if I were to change my mind, if things did start to make sense with a God then the whole religious milieu and God himself would be still there to go back to.

That said, I could not go back to it all as I am now and now my lack of belief in God is solid, I have been able to retrn to the Bible and appreciate in ways I never could as a believer.

[misschievous]

You said you studied religions right? You also said that proof shows that there is no god? You want proof look into Coran and Bible both talk about the birth of Jesus Christ as a major impact. If god doesn't exist and Jesus Christ was just another guy. Why would his birth, not talking about what he did just talking about the birth, be such a huge deal that these two rival religions would both write about the birth of the savior? I don't believe the proof of gods existence is in any religion but in Religion as a whole. Where is the proof that god didn't exist? Big bang theory? What caused the explosion of the big bang? where did the material come from to create the big bang? What caused the stars to form from the big bang? What caused carbon to evolve into organisms? Science doesn't disprove God just the better understanding to the complex prosess involved in Genesis.

[justpat]

    40 years ago this month I had a meltdown ,I prayed for someone who could understand me.
4 days later a warm caring human being called me on the phone, I asked what made you call, she told me she did not know ,something just told her to.We had never met before but I described
her perfectly. Our souls have been locked together ever since, even when we were apart.
  I BELIEVE and nothing will ever change that!

[Del]

I see where many question and many do not believe. That is their choice.
Some have asked God for a miracle or some other proof that he exists.

The Lord told Thomas that because he had seen he believed but blessed are those who have not seen and yet believe. They are blessed because faith is the substance of things not seen. Anyone can believe that which they see.

I personally do believe and believed before I saw any miracles. Those came later. The times I was healed of various issues came after decades of believing. Sort of like the impotent man around 40 years of age if memory serves me correctly.

If anyone is searching for the Lord it might do well to remember that it is written that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him and it is written again you shall seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart. Not impatient or half heartedly.

I hope those seeking the Lord find him in due season. I hope they find all they need in him as the early saints did who went through hell on earth and yet refused to be delivered or comforted counting this world unworthy of Christ our Lord.

May God bless.

[Sarah Louise]

I spent my youth not thinking about religion.  As a young adult I thought those who needed a "god" were weak and just needed something to lean on. 

At 30 the Lord came to me and I believed.  I have been a Christian for 38 years now and my faith is as strong today as it was at the beginning.

[chefset28]

I've struggled with Religion for as long as I can remember. I was raised in a very strict Southern Baptist home where it was demanded that I attended church four times a week (twice Sunday,Wednesday night,Friday youth group). I attended Christian Summer Camp and at one point I wanted to be a missionary.

As I grew up I developed a interest in studying Theology. I probably know more about different faiths than those who practice them. I've always been analytical and I think that may have been to my detriment. It's hard to believe in a God when the evidence points to the fact that there isn't one. The evidence concludes that despite wishful thinking, hopes, and prayers the sad fact is we are alone.

I desperately want to believe in God. I've tried multiple times to have faith without reasoning. I love the idea of Jesus Christ. I love the stories and to think that God himself came down to die for mankind's salvation is comforting. Being comforting doesn't make it true though.

Anyone else struggle with faith?

   I have been facing a similar issue for the past several years myself. I was raised in a conservative baptist christian home and attended 2 christian colleges and spent several years planning missions trips to various countries. I also went on several youth mission trips in HS. At the first school I attended in Pensacola, some friends and I were told by several faculty members that a person could not be saved if they were not 'led to Christ' by someone using the KJV. At my 2nd school in Clearwater, I attended a class called Modern Religion which was an overview on how the bible is mutable (changing, or manipulated by men).  Another one I attended was about cults but that class had termed many legitimate religions like Islam, Catholicism, Judaism, and Buddhism as cults. It also touched on some actual cults (some of the destructive ones) and I personally began to question my own faith.

    I have had a difficult time trying to justify Christianity to myself, but have found myself incapable of viewing a world that does not have a higher power. I have since found myself to be most comfortable within the Pagan/Wiccan belief system.  Basically the places I went to be taught how to share my parent's faith with others instead showed me how far modern Christianity has moved away from the ideals taught in their own holy book.

    That being said, I have had several friends who I believe have shown the essence of Christianity. They live it and are not judgmental towards others, and they don't flaunt their faith or push it on others. they are honestly good and gentle people that if I was to compare them to a historical figure I would equate them with Jesus.  The problem is that I have only ever met 5 people like this, and I myself cannot  force myself to follow that life. I cannot believe something that I believe has been so warped by so many people. I feel myself drawn to the earth and nature. I try to seek the truth about God in the world around me and I worship outside, in nature where I feel my most connected to God, in whatever form God chooses to reveal to me.

    I hope that you have been able to work through your struggle, though I know I have not offered any help I do hope that there may be something in this that you find useful or even interesting.

[King Malachite]

    some friends and I were told by several faculty members that a person could not be saved if they were not 'led to Christ' by someone using the KJV.

It's funny you mention that, because one of the pastors I follow on Youtube has a clip of his sermon that is titled "Pastors who preach from the NIV AREN'T SAVED!"  lol  This guy is a KJV Onlyist and he actually rejects other Bibles as the SSV, NKJV, NWT, etc.

[Catalina]

It's funny you mention that, because one of the pastors I follow on Youtube has a clip of his sermon that is titled "Pastors who preach from the NIV AREN'T SAVED!"  lol  This guy is a KJV Onlyist and he actually rejects other Bibles as the SSV, NKJV, NWT, etc.

Lawl! KJV-onlyists are crazy. I love and use the KJV, but I certainly don't worship it! I prefer the NRSV myself for study!