MTF transitioning in your fourties(40)?

[Beth Andrea]

I went off my anti-depressants about 2 weeks ago, after being on them 3 years for severe depression (lifelong, but diagnosed 3yrs ago).  I wanted off them about 6 months ago, but my med dr said it wouldn't be good...having btdt before, I stayed on them (I started HRT about 11 months ago)...but this last time I saw her, she wanted to increase my meds, even tho we both agreed I was very, very happy due to the transition and my Maddie...i decided that I would try no meds for a bit...and after the disruption in the first 2-3 days, I haven't felt better *ever*.

Life is awesome...itll be even better after srs, when I can finish saving $$ for it.

Thanks friends...and lovers. You helped make my road a lot better...*hugs* (even if I am nearing 50! LOL)  

[breezy]

I started hrt last summer at age 52. It's just over 6months now and I've started to see some breast growth. My breasts are a little tender but only seem to bother me like when I'm lifting a box or something that rubs against them. I have had a few mood swings at the start but no real crying outbursts, save for tears while watching a few movies. My wierdest thing was my craving for pickles which is probably due to the Spiro. I was fortunate to have low T levels before I started.

[Beth Andrea]

LOL...about 4 months after starting Spiro i had a craving for sweet pickles...always liked 'em before, but had to buy a big jar and i ate most of the entire contents....nom nom nom!

Mmm.pickkkkkkkles....*drool*

[Shana A]

Did someone mention pickles?!  I'd always liked pickles before, cravings for them have definitely gone up a notch or two since starting HRT!

Mmmmmmmmm, pickles!

Z

[melissa_h]

Great thread, though i think a few recent replies got eaten with the server issue.

I've been on HRT for 8 days now, and am almost 42. 

I hadn't seen a lot of info around transitioning at this age, so many of the posts are either early or later in life. I think there are some very unique challenges at this age, so curious to hear how it goes for others as well.

[kaitylynn]

Late 40's here and starting HRT again after a 20 year break...well, not entirely a break.  I have a friends that started at the same age I am now and have reached the conclusion that it really does not matter when you choose to start.  Hormones act slower, mannerisms can be a little harder to shift...but when is it actually to late to acknowledge and be YOU?

Can say, shaving is WAY quicker now...thinner leg and arm hair.  Also, maturity has helped me maintain a good and positive focus.  More deliberate, less impulsive and certainly in a better position in terms of job/finance.

Plus, this point in time, while far from perfect, feels like our time.  Mind that I loath using any terms that cause divide, but there is less separation between cis and trans now than any time I can remember.  Being a particualr age in our lives is just a thing.

[melissa_h]

I'm not actually out yet, but that's part of what gives me confidence. 

While I can't say for sure my employer will be happy with the eventual transition, I've got great experience, and the change won't close doors on what I've already learned. Minds are opening everywhere.

[kaitylynn]

Melissa, the scariest person I have come out to is my boss.  No kidding, stomach doing somersaults just thinking about it.  When the time came, I decided I would not complicate it with psychology or anything like that.  We went to dinner, I explained that my hormones are being/are changing...I am changing and assured him that while I might be more emotional, but I am still able to do my job and am able to connect with my customers as well as ever.

He listened, nodded and said ok.  That was several weeks ago and I am still doing fine.  I have some friends in management that have told me that nothing I am doing is causing anyone any concern that they can detect.  They did tell me I am the first to transition within my company by anything they can uncover.

By no means the knowledge queen in  this, but I do chalk my positive experience up to being confident in myself, knowing my facts and explaining things succinctly with little emotion (displayed anyway).  I have had several years of intent driven deliberation, so I also had the luxury of time.  By 'time', I mean time to figure out the "how" of coming out and the ability to choose the "when" in regards to my employer.

<3

[MeghanMe]

I'm 46, and my first endo appointment is in 18 days, not that I'm counting or anything. I was looking for this sort of information, too... maybe we can keep this thread rolling and report our experiences as time goes by?

[uxmal]

Hello all--
I'm heading into my 47th year in a few days and the past year has been in a watershed moment in my life. In the span of the last two weeks I got my court decree, SS, and driver's license all updated. So now, I'm legally female, been on HRT for just over a month, working as a female for over 9 months, and now dealing with domestic issues. I'm happy to say my work environment has been incredibly supportive. I've made many new friends, partly I think because I'm just being true to myself. They see and know that I'm real. People tend to gravitate to individuals who show courage and are honest about themselves. But life isn't that simple. I'm still working on the situation with my spouse. I think we'll be better off apart, but I try to keep myself open. It's important to be honest and transparent about the whole thing. I've done this and endured ridicule, abuse, and near self-destruction (but I learned that staying on 'track' keeps me going). I have a pre-teen and she is elated about the 'new' me. Having a future with my child is what really keeps in going.   

[the_Tina_life]

Hi All,

I'm 43 and never married, no kids, self employed. I have been dressing for over 10 years but did not get guts to transition. Probably, because of lack on info and support.

I will be glad if anyone faced any major problem in transitioning (physical) can share.

I am worried if I start now I might not transition properly.

[KathyLauren]

Hi, Tina, welcome!

There are quite a few of us in our 50s and 60s, just transitioning now.  Most of us are doing so without any major physical problems, though we don't end up passing quite as well as the younger transitioners.  I am at 6 months on HRT at age 62.  You can see my results so far in my avatar picture.

There is nothing remarkable about transitioning in your 40s.  It is a pretty typical age to discover your true identity and start to do something about it.

[Jacqueline]

Hi All,

I'm 43 and never married, no kids, self employed. I have been dressing for over 10 years but did not get guts to transition. Probably, because of lack on info and support.

I will be glad if anyone faced any major problem in transitioning (physical) can share.

I am worried if I start now I might not transition properly.

Hi Tina. It is Tina and not Life, right?

Welcome to the site.

Many of us transition later than you as KathyLauren pointed out. I don't have a photo of me up yet but I started therapy at 50, HRT at 51 and hope to go full time this year(maybe before our summer is out-doubtful).

I think the older we are, the more concerned about clots  when on HRT. Although the hormones we have now are hugely improved over when that concern first came up. As stated, many at this age do not have the dramatic results we might like but the clarity of mind was a huge thing for me. I will never go back. The hardest thing I found was accepting it, then telling others(including doctors). I have been lucky and blessed.

I also want to share some links with you. They are mostly welcome information and the rules that govern the site. If you have not had a chance to look through them, please take a moment:

Things that you should read

Site Terms of Service & Rules to Live By	Standard Terms & Definitions	Post Ranks (including when you can upload an avatar)
Reputation rules	News posting & quoting guidelines	Photo, avatars, & signature images policy

Once again, welcome to Susan's. Look around, ask questions and join in.

With warmth,

Joanna

[Artesia]

I am 43....I think.  I have been on HRT for around 10 months, and feel things are moving way to slow at the moment.  My wife however thinks things are moving way to fast.  So far, I feel, that my breasts are not developing, and that I still look like a guy in a dress.  My therapist and some others I have shown the pictures to say I look very feminine.

[LexiDreamer]

Hi Tina and welcome!

42 here and enjoying my second puberty. Started herbal HRT 2 years ago and pharma HRT one year ago.

Went from flat chest to 34B bra size. Hoping to make it to C-cup! I'm decently physically fit @ 6'1.

My only family attachment I have is a soon to be 9 year old daughter and she's totally supportive.

I'm much more social now, and more people are attracted to me.
I have more friends now, then I've ever had in my entire life.

I don't think of myself as male anymore. I'm out everywhere but work. When I go into the men's room and I look in the mirror, I see a woman cross-dressing (badly) as a man. So far people at work only see what they wanna see, I guess. 

I'm also the happiest I've ever been. My only regret is not figuring this out sooner.

-Lexi

[SophiaBleu]

I'm going to be 44 in a week and a half. I started HRT last year. Still haven't gotten my levels 100% correct, as my estrogen is a little high for my Endos liking.

I love the effects of the hormones, and hopefully, will kick transition into high gear later on this year!

[mm]

LexiDreamer, life must be complicated living as a woman except for work.  I know during the time I went both ways was the worst time of  my life, never knowing if I passed either way.  Good luck to you hope you can be 100% female soon, you look nice in the picture.

[LexiDreamer]

LexiDreamer, life must be complicated living as a woman except for work.  I know during the time I went both ways was the worst time of  my life, never knowing if I passed either way.  Good luck to you hope you can be 100% female soon, you look nice in the picture.

Thank you for the compliment!

Living gender fluidly is quite complicated. Personally, it gets harder every day. My only reprieve is that I get to go away often enough and just be myself.
I'm not passing very well as a guy anymore... even when in guy mode I notice I get plenty of second glances, especially from other women. I also notice some married guys staring at me for uncomfortably long times. I'm most surprised that people in the office don't seem to notice or question anything. I keep pushing the envelope more and more.

As far as passing as female... I don't really worry too much about it anymore. I'm trans, I like being trans and I'm owning it.
Honestly, I find myself gravitating closer to the "fringe" these days anyhow.
I also like the "people filter" my being transgender provides me with. Interesting people want to talk to me and get to know me... boring people want nothing to do with me.
That being said, I find way more people are attracted to me now, it's a whole new experience.

[rmaddy]

50 is the last year of one's 40's, right?

Although late and relatively late transition has disadvantages biologically, these are potentially superseded by other advantages.  By 40, most of us have careers in place, and are not necessarily living hand to mouth any more.  Often we have raised children and learned to let them become who they are going to be.  It is prime time to learn to apply that same grace to yourself.

I didn't know that I was going to medically/surgically transition when I was 40.  I only knew that I was transgender, and that I was slowly killing myself by not letting that part of me see the light of day.  Worse, I realized that I would some day die, and that no one remaining would know who I was.  I didn't change my name/marker until 47, and start hormones until 48.  I hope to be done surgically by 51, although I have no final date yet.

[SonadoraXVX]

Very cool rmaddy. You are living it