Susan's Place Logo

News:

Please be sure to review The Site terms of service, and rules to live by

Main Menu

Name change dilemma

Started by PrettySoldier, January 08, 2013, 12:32:59 PM

Previous topic - Next topic

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

PrettySoldier

So I'm in the process of changing my name & moving from PA to NY. I've started the legal process here in PA but it's taking longer than normal because I'm trying to get extra fees waived so I don't have to pay a jillion dollars. My friend that I'm moving in with says it's easier/cheaper to do it in NY & I don't know if I should do it there instead. My mother helps me with loans & finance stuff & wants me to keep my PA address & still use the credit union here. But the credit union says I can have a NY address & still be with them apparently.

I really wanna move asap but I need to find work in NY before I do & I want to change my name before getting a new job because I don't want to start a new job with new people & then have a new name in a few months. I also really hate presenting as male anymore yet at the same time have insecurities about going full time but I figure going full time won't get easier until I just do it & I feel transitioning will be easier in NY because I am in a new place where no one knows me or my past.  ???
Bishoujo
The Queen:
  •  

Zumbagirl

Quote from: PrettySoldier on January 08, 2013, 12:32:59 PM
I really wanna move asap but I need to find work in NY before I do & I want to change my name before getting a new job because I don't want to start a new job with new people & then have a new name in a few months. I also really hate presenting as male anymore yet at the same time have insecurities about going full time but I figure going full time won't get easier until I just do it & I feel transitioning will be easier in NY because I am in a new place where no one knows me or my past.  ???

I don't know how many dollars are in a jillion but I am guessing it's a lot :) i assume you want to change name and gender marker as well? Which is easier NY or PA? Since you are going out job hunting a name change may help, but not if the company does background checks. They will find out anyways. My thoughts are do it now while in PA, hopefully get the gender marker changed as well, with both drivers license and social security, and then go out job hunting. It sounds from your comments that you have a good head on your shoulders by this comment:

Quote
I also really hate presenting as male anymore yet at the same time have insecurities about going full time but I figure going full time won't get easier until I just do it

I can honestly say when I first went full time I had my share of doors slammed in my face, but it made my job searching easier, because I knew who I wouldn't  want to work for and whittled it down to where I could work and finish up what I stated. Best of luck in your job search!! I truly think that job searching is much better for trans people today.

What kind of work are you looking to do by the way?  I happen to have one of my barely talk to anymore friends who transitioned several years ago and is now working for the state. She is doing quite well in a heavily male dominated line of work I might add.
  •  

PrettySoldier

Quote from: Zumbagirl on January 08, 2013, 12:51:33 PM
I don't know how many dollars are in a jillion but I am guessing it's a lot :) i assume you want to change name and gender marker as well? Which is easier NY or PA? Since you are going out job hunting a name change may help, but not if the company does background checks. They will find out anyways. My thoughts are do it now while in PA, hopefully get the gender marker changed as well, with both drivers license and social security, and then go out job hunting. It sounds from your comments that you have a good head on your shoulders by this comment:

I can honestly say when I first went full time I had my share of doors slammed in my face, but it made my job searching easier, because I knew who I wouldn't  want to work for and whittled it down to where I could work and finish up what I stated. Best of luck in your job search!! I truly think that job searching is much better for trans people today.

What kind of work are you looking to do by the way?  I happen to have one of my barely talk to anymore friends who transitioned several years ago and is now working for the state. She is doing quite well in a heavily male dominated line of work I might add.

My friend who is holding my hand through all this & who is the one I am moving in with in NY says doing the name change in NY would be easier & cheaper. But I figured I'd just continue doing it here in PA cause I already started it & still live here & still need to find work in NY before I can move. It's more complicated than need be, ugh. 

I am looking for retail type work cause that is really all I have been doing. I'm trying to hopefully just get transferred from the store I work at now to another store in NY where I'll be moving. But I have to contact the NY store to see if they'll allow me to be transferred. I was going to contact them but didn't cause I wasn't sure if I should present as male because my name & gender on my documents is still male or present myself how I am living now. Many people I work with now know my situation & have been supportive. I'm just nervous that the new place will be different since I live in Philly which is a large diverse city & the place I'm moving to is a small little suburban area.
Bishoujo
The Queen:
  •  

PrettySoldier

Quote from: girl you look fierce on January 08, 2013, 01:07:58 PM
I can't comment on the job thing yet but about going fulltime... I do think it helps... I moved out of state and went FT and it was really seamless because nobody knew anything other than me as a girl, though still working on the name change... my legal name can cause some confused looks when I gotta show it :/ but even then people just think I have a weird name, not I'm a guy.

I was scared too cause I had never even been part time but really all the experiences were positive.

Good luck :)

Well that gives me hope  :) Work is really the only place I still present myself somewhat male. I rarely have issues passing when out & I get occasional stares but it's when I'm in scenarios where I have to show my ID to someone, like at a bar, that I hate.  I just wanna get my name changes so I have no choice but to be full time & begin to get comfortable with it.
Bishoujo
The Queen:
  •  

tgchar21

Quote from: Zumbagirl on January 08, 2013, 12:51:33 PMSince you are going out job hunting a name change may help, but not if the company does background checks. They will find out anyways.

It depends on what kind of "background check" they do. If they pull your credit report or trace your SSN your old name will most likely show up unless you're either transitioning very young (i.e. before or right after turning 18, before you had any "adult" records tied to your report or SSN) or FOTB (reports typically don't transfer internationally). If you have any criminal convictions under your original name you'll have to mention that if they check your criminal background or you may face legal problems by not disclosing an alias you were convicted under. For reference/past employment/educational checks you should be fine if you've informed all applicable individuals/institutions and they've updated your records; if not when they go to verify you'll probably have to explain or they'll think you're lying about your credentials or wonder about a "gap" in employment (which is a major issue these days).

Since you mentioned that you're looking for a job in NY, although that state lacks TG protections it's more favorable than average if you're going stealth. In that state, employers need to know about your former name only if they have a practical reason for the information (e.g. they can ask if any records like those mentioned in the last paragraph are under any other name, but are not supposed to ask about previous names in general); although realistically that probably won't help most TGs except for the very young/FOTB exceptions I mentioned it does help guard against employers seeking extraneous information. (You can thank immigrants who historically assumed more "American" names to assimilate for that rule, so employers wouldn't be able to seek their national origin!) By contrast, in California, they can ask for any former names as long as they don't ask why the name was changed (which is useless for TGs) because the law took root when the issue was companies asking women for their maiden name and learning their marital status rather than when immigrants were flooding the country. In most states there is no written rule about if a company can or cannot ask about prior names, but the general consensus is that any such inquiries should be restricted to what's necessary to perform whatever checks they do (e.g. someone who was adopted or had their name changed in childhood typically doesn't need to mention their birth name unless it's a high-security job where they trace you back to your birth certificate, but if you've been married or divorced and changed your name you'd probably need to since you'll most likely have some unchanged records floating around).
  •