Look me in the eye, for Pete's sake!!

[Michael Joseph]

In a casual conversation with a hetero male, its usually us standing next to each other with our hands in our pockets looking down or just glancing around. I have noticed though, in a casual conversation with some of my gay male friends, they will look me directly in the eyes.

Im not sure about work though, I never payed attention to that, if im dealing with a customer its most likely over the phone, or im looking at the register.

[Liminal Stranger]

I've constantly been scolded by my mother to look people in the eye when having a conversation, but it just feels creepy to prolong that past a glance IMO. It kind of does feel like a challenge to look right at another guy- I feel like someone's questioning something about me if they do that, especially if they're staring you down (or trying to). That's pretty much a textbook dominating move, and I don't stand for that kind of stuff. Nor do I like doing it to other people, no matter how pretty a face they may have. 
(Sometimes I stare at girls a bit too much when talking to them, but I try extra hard not to now because I have a boyfriend XP)

Then there's Pokemon Trainers: Boy or girl, if you look them in the eye, you know something's gonna go down 

And there you have it, two shiny pennies deposited in the box.

[tvc15]

Yeah... after I got a job, I tried the eye contact thing because I'm just all-around kind of socially inept. I figured eye contact was what people expected from each other, regardless of gender. Imagine my surprise then, when every time I tried to look certain male coworkers in the eye, they would ask me "What the f$%^ are you staring at?!" I used to get scolded by my mom for not making eye contact with anyone either, but it's so much more natural to talk to a guy while standing side-to-side with minimal eye contact.

[Beth Andrea]

I tended to avoid eye contact for a long time, the consequence of abuse...

Then I had a friend tell me it's an important part of persuasion. There are times you need to appear sincere (sales, politics, marriage, etc) and those are times to do eye contact. But if you're talking casually, like about a game or what restaurant to go to...lessen the frequency/intensity of the contact.

[AdamMLP]

The only person I can ever make eye contact with is my girlfriend, and sometimes I can't even manage that.  Someone -- I think it was a previous partner, I can't really remember -- tried to make me make eye contact with them, but my eyes just kept sliding away, it's just not natural to me.  Quite often I've been told to make eye contact with people, normally when I was getting told of by pedantic crazy teachers a few years ago, but it just seemed way too personal to do.

It's either a challenge, or intimate to me, and I'd not want to do either of those things to a random person, or even a good friend.

[AlexD]

Someone -- I think it was a previous partner, I can't really remember -- tried to make me make eye contact with them, but my eyes just kept sliding away, it's just not natural to me.  Quite often I've been told to make eye contact with people, normally when I was getting told of by pedantic crazy teachers a few years ago, but it just seemed way too personal to do.

This is exactly how I used to feel about eye contact -- it felt really rude to just look someone in the eye for more than a split second. I trained myself to do it "normally", though, and now it's second nature for me to look someone in the eyes -- I feel rude for not making eye contact, now.

I hadn't considered that my original habit was just masculine and not anti-social. Damn. Now I have to retrain myself again. :p

[tvc15]

Someone -- I think it was a previous partner, I can't really remember -- tried to make me make eye contact with them, but my eyes just kept sliding away, it's just not natural to me.

Haha that reminds me of a previous partner asking me if we could just sit and gaze into each other's eyes. I don't know if I could ever do that with anybody.

[smooth]

Personally I don't like it for whatever reason and I don't see what purpose it serves. I know a couple of guys who see it as a challenge and going back a few years they would happily take it to the next level. I don't like being stared down but these days I mostly just ignore it, I've got nothing to prove. This will probably be more of a problem with younger guys or maybe someone who's having a bad day and is looking for someone to beat up on. There are plenty of signs that will alert you to a good or bad potential situation, body language, facial expression, where you are, etc, etc. If you keep insisting on looking guys in the eye be prepared that sooner or later it will probably result in a negative experience. We humans aren't very nice me thinks.

[Nero]

I tended to avoid eye contact for a long time, the consequence of abuse...

Then I had a friend tell me it's an important part of persuasion. There are times you need to appear sincere (sales, politics, marriage, etc) and those are times to do eye contact. But if you're talking casually, like about a game or what restaurant to go to...lessen the frequency/intensity of the contact.

This.

Right after transition, I got a job in sales and was disconcerted by all the eye contact as they were training us. They didn't explain about the eye contact and even as someone new to living as male it felt odd to me. Unfortunately, I didn't know at the time it was what we were supposed to do to show sincerity. I thought these guys were challenging me or looking down on me. They were just trying to teach me to close. 

[aleon515]

I hate eye contact, maybe I'll get along better with guys?

Jay

[Brooke777]

OP - From my understanding of your situation, I would say that constant eye contact on your part is a dominant stance. When two hetero males are talking, the one who is dominant will not break eye contact. By the other man breaking eye contact he is stating that he recognizes you as the dominant one in the interaction. I would take it as a compliment.

[Sly]

In my experience, when a guy passes another guy on the street they'll make eye contact for about a second, nod, then look away.  I found it a little intimidating at first, for some reason.

[Arch]

I make direct eye contact with other guys all the time. Friends, students, strangers. Holding it for any length of time is another matter. That I don't do, and I have never done that. I have known a number of socially disastrous people (all guys except one, and all computer science nerds, physics geeks, or other STEM types) who would just have a whole conversation looking people straight in the eye--they would home in and not let go. I suppose that's one reason other folks avoided them. Maybe in blue collar circles, this would have been a problem. At the university, they seemed to be accepted as simply eccentric.

[GnomeKid]

Maintaining eye contact throughout an entire conversation feels very creepy and unnatural to me.  I dislike when others do it to me, and I don't feel at all comfortable doing it.  That being said I tend to go in/out of eye contact as opposed to never making it at all.  Gender of my conversation partner does not really play any part in the equation

[aleon515]

In my experience, when a guy passes another guy on the street they'll make eye contact for about a second, nod, then look away.  I found it a little intimidating at first, for some reason.

I actually read about this one in the book "just add hormones". He calls it the guy nod and said he never got this when he appeared female. I agree. I have gotten this several times and consider it a sign of passing. Funny thing but Ive gotten it a couple times and as I got closer the guy decides he has made a mistake and I almost hear the wheels going saying something like " hey I just gave a guy nod to a gal" (nope).

Jay

[Kelly J. P.]

 The guy nod is a very real thing. Most guys won't bother looking into the eyes of other guys when passing on the street or other such scenarios, but if they do, the nod is to be respectful and polite.

Kind of romantic, in a way. I always associate it with Jedi, because when I was young and read Star Wars books, the Jedi did that sort of thing when bowing would be a little too formal. I tried the bowing thing for a while, but that didn't last very long. The nod was the easier and less goofy option.

[LilDevilOfPrada]

My opinion most men don't do eye to eye because they aren't secure in it and are scared to be seen as homosexual. However this applies more to my area which is a very Catholic area that are completely anti-homosexual. But hey its possible a few of them felt like this haha.