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When you listen to your music... who is the singer singing to?

Started by Lesley_Roberta, December 31, 2012, 05:08:27 PM

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Lesley_Roberta

I have two people in my head. One is me, the other is him of course.

I find myself listening to primarily female vocalists, as I prefer them basically.

But the lyrics, when I am listening to the song, it seems I am often singing to my other half (male side) or just pretending it is me singing in general. Some songs I perceive as the female in me communicating to my wife (also female, guess that sometimes needs to be stated), and of course it comes out feeling oddly lesbian sounding.

Lots of music I listen to has no vocals and is very dance club sounding, and when I listen to it I am just imagining myself out dancing and I am 100% female, and I am not stuck in this damnable shell.

But I find it sometimes confusing, sometimes pleasing, but usually sympathetic to my needs to be understood.
I have often told my wife, the key to actually knowing me, is found in the music I listen to. Nothing I say in boring words is even close to the songs I listen to all the time.

And so much of it is anime sourced. Here are the words of the opening tune for the show Shugo Chara (I think ostensibly aimed at teen girls). Naritai You Ni Nareba II Jan .... What I want to be I will be just fine .... Yaritai You Ni Yareba II Jan .... What I want to do I will do just fine. That lyric is part of the opening song. It has such a great positivity, that for a long time I could not watch the shows opening without crying (happy crying but crying all the same). The show focuses on a young girl and she has the power to safeguard the dreams of others as simulated by eggs that represent as yet unrealized hopes and wishes for that person. Others of course are trying to steal these dreams.

I love songs like that. And they are often so over the top girlie I suppose too. I was listening to that tune while in the hall waiting to see a counselor back when I first started to seek some help in coping with being me, and she heard the tune and concluded, 'that must be my Leslie, as it sounds like a tune I would be listening to' :)
Well being TG is no treat, but becoming separated has sure caused me more trouble that being TG ever will be. So if I post, consider it me trying to distract myself from being lonely, not my needing to discuss being TG. I don't want to be separated a lot more than not wanting to be male looking.
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