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Coming out to my cousin

Started by Alexia77, January 04, 2013, 08:26:08 AM

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Alexia77

Today, I'm waiting for my cousin to come see me so I can come out to her. I didn't tell her exactly why I wanted to see her when I asked her to come, only that it was about a change in my life.

Now, I'm kind of nervous because I don't know how to approach the subject. I'll probably have to blurt it out immediately and hope for the best.

I'll update here after I meet her. Wish me whatever you want, I'll probably need it. :P
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Catherine Sarah

Hi Alexia,

Probably the simpliest way is to explain it, as it is. It's a birth defect, created by one or more genetic, hormonal, environmental conditions. Just like autism, polio, spine abifida etc, etc.

It is a well recognised and documented medical condition. Nothing to get excited over. You are not a freak of any kind. Go to the reference library here and have something to show her in regard to this nature.

Practice a bit of breathing control and take the pressure off yourself. You've done the biggest work to date, just in acknowledging this to yourself. That's the hardest coming out you'll ever face. The rest is easy.

Keep in touch and let us know how you are coping.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine




If you're in Australia and are subject to Domestic Violence or Violence against Women, call 1800-RESPECT (1800-737-7328) for assistance.
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Alexia77

It's done and it went very well.

Like I said I would, I just blurted it out without any preface. She wasn't ready for that as she thought I planned to move out of my father's place and needed her help. I explained to her why I wanted to tell her and she took it really well. Then, she asked me the traditional questions which I was ready to answer. After that, we talked about the road ahead and everything I need to do.

When I mentioned to her, somewhere in the conversation, that unless I needed to go out I was always dressed she asked me if wanted to do it now. I told her yes and she told me to go change. I just put on a simple dress, cotton tights and flats, and returned. When she saw me, she complimented me, asked me if I felt better (yes), hugged me and we resumed talking like nothing happened.

Before she left, she told me that she will research it on her side to understand it more and will come back to me. I asked her her email address, in case I didn't have it, and told her I would send her some documentation to help. We hugged, then said goodbye.

Now, I feel better but I'm still a little stressed because there's still a lot of people I need to come out to. One of them is my mother.
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Catherine Sarah

Great to hear it went so well for you, Alexia.

Just a suggestion, before you come out to your Mum, make sure you are totally comfortable within your self on the condition, possible causes etc. Your Mum, if she doesn't already know, from her inate womanly and mother instinct, may not take it too well.

That's where the strength and resilience in your confidence will help her through what can only be described as a grieving process.

If you are seeing a therapist, they may be able to help you in this task. If you are not already aware; shock can twist people around. One minute they may be very accepting and supportive and later be the opposite. Vise versa is also true. Doesn't happen in all cases. You just need to be aware of its possibility.

Good luck with your cousin and all the others.

What's your plan for the future?

Be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine




If you're in Australia and are subject to Domestic Violence or Violence against Women, call 1800-RESPECT (1800-737-7328) for assistance.
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LilDevilOfPrada

Quote from: Catherine Sarah on January 04, 2013, 06:58:21 PM
Great to hear it went so well for you, Alexia.

Just a suggestion, before you come out to your Mum, make sure you are totally comfortable within your self on the condition, possible causes etc. Your Mum, if she doesn't already know, from her inate womanly and mother instinct, may not take it too well.

That's where the strength and resilience in your confidence will help her through what can only be described as a grieving process.

If you are seeing a therapist, they may be able to help you in this task. If you are not already aware; shock can twist people around. One minute they may be very accepting and supportive and later be the opposite. Vise versa is also true. Doesn't happen in all cases. You just need to be aware of its possibility.

Good luck with your cousin and all the others.

What's your plan for the future?

Be safe, well and happy.

Lotsa huggs
Catherine

When I came out to my mom I used Opra LOL just she had a show on transexuality the day I told my mom. Trust me when I say she will go through the stages of depression as if her son died. Its pretty common and it will pass at her pace, also just blurting it out to a parent doesnt exactly always work. I suggest plan and keep planning till your 100% ready.

One extra suggestion try recall past events that help your case to try give her a little common ground on this.
Awww no my little kitten gif site is gone :( sad.


2 Febuary 2011/13 June 2011 hrt began
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