1] The first thing men look for in a potential victim is hairstyle. They are most likely to go after a woman with a ponytail, bun! , braid or other hairstyle that can easily be grabbed. They are also likely to go after a woman with long hair. Women with short hair are not common targets.
For men - If you see a woman with a pony tail or a bun try to think that looks pretty she spent some time doing that and not oh her hair looks like a great handle for raping.
2] The second thing men look for is clothing. They will look for women whose clothing is easy to remove quickly. Many of them carry scissors around to cut clothing.
For men - Try to see clothes for colour and style not for how easy you can cut them with scissors to rape her
3] They also look for women using their cell phone, searching through their purse or doing other activities while walking because they are off guard and can be easily overpowered.
For men - if you see a woman on the phone or looking in her bag it's not an invitation to rape her, she's just minding her own business.
4] The number one place women are abducted from / attacked at is grocery store parking lots.
For men - you may think women looking to be raped always go to grocery stores, they don't they go there to get groceries.
5] Number two is office parking lots/garages.
For men - you may think women looking to be raped always go to parking areas, they don't they go there to get to their car.
6] Number three is public restrooms.
For men - you may think women looking to be raped always go to bathrooms, they don't they go there to use the bathroom.
7] The thing about these men is that they are looking to grab a woman and quickly move her to a second location where they don't have to worry about getting caught.
For men - If you see a woman who can be quickly grabbed and moved to a second location for raping without being caught, maybe just leave her be and not rape her.
8] If you put up any kind of a fight at all, they get discouraged because it only takes a minute or two for them to realize that going after you isn't worth it because it will be time-consuming.
For men - Just because a woman doesn't fight back, does not mean she wants you to rape her.
9] These men said they would not pick on women who have umbrellas, or other similar objects that can be used from a distance, in their hands.
For men - The lack of an umbrella is not a signal to you to rape her. Maybe it's just sunny?
10] Keys are not a deterrent because you have to get really close to the attacker to use them as a weapon. So, the idea is to convince these guys you're not worth it.
For men - as above no umbrella is not a signal for you to rape them.
POINTS THAT WE SHOULD REMEMBER:
1] If someone is following behind you on a street or in a garage or with you in an elevator or stairwell, look them in the face and ask them a question, like what time is it, or make general small talk: can't believe it is so cold out here, we're in for a bad winter. Now that you've seen their faces and could identify them in a line- up, you lose appeal as a target.
For men - As confusing as this might be, if a woman talks to you or doesn't talk to you. neither of them mean you should rape her.
2] If someone is coming toward you, hold out your hands in front of you and yell Stop or Stay back! Most of the rapists this man talked to said they'd leave a woman alone if she yelled or showed that she would not be afraid to fight back. Again, they are looking for an EASY target.
For - men when approaching a woman if she doesn't yell stop or stay back doesn't mean she wants you to rape her.
3] If you carry pepper spray (this instructor was a huge advocate of it and carries it with him wherever he goes,) yelling I HAVE PEPPER SPRAY and holding it out will be a deterrent.
For - men if you go near a woman and she doesn't pepper spray you in the face it doesn't mean she's asking you to rape her.
4] If someone grabs you, you can't beat them with strength but you can do it by outsmarting them. If you are grabbed around the waist from behind, pinch the attacker either under the arm between the elbow and
armpit or in the upper inner thigh - HARD. One woman in a class this guy taught told him she used the underarm pinch on a guy who was trying to date rape her and was so upset she broke through the skin and tore out muscle strands the guy needed stitches. Try pinching yourself in those places as hard as you can stand it; it really hurts.
For - men if you see a woman, don't grab her. If you do grab her don't choose wether to rape her or not on if you get pinched, just don't rape her
5] After the initial hit, always go for the groin. I know from a particularly unfortunate experience that if you slap a guy's parts it is extremely painful. You might think that you'll anger the guy and make him want to hurt you more, but the thing these rapists told our instructor is that they want a woman who will not cause him a lot of
trouble. Start causing trouble, and he's out of there.
For men - When approaching a woman don't rely on the old 'if she doesn't kick you in the balls she wants a raping' way of thinking.
6] When the guy puts his hands up to you, grab his first two fingers and bend them back as far as possible with as much pressure pushing down on them as possible. The instructor did it to me without using much pressure, and I ended up on my knees and both knuckles cracked
audibly.
For men - When approaching a woman don't rely on the old 'if she doesn't break your fingers she wants a raping' way of thinking.
7] Of course the things we always hear still apply. Always be aware of your surroundings, take someone with you if you can and if you see any odd behavior, don't dismiss it, and go with your instincts. You may feel little silly at the time, but you'd feel much worse if the guy really was trouble.
For men - If you see a woman behaving oddly and you feel your instincts are to rape her. Just don't do it.
I added some tips for guys too. Because my friends who have been raped taught me how victim blaming works.
