I'm not sure where to start?

[Bets]

Well I do but that would be a very long story so similar in theme to so many others, like me. However finaly I have had the courage to seek a therapist who has recomended I start hormone thearpy and the next leg of this journey begins. While stealth has been a theme in my life I am slowly learning how to trust and flow with these changes and having some difficulty figuring out the order of things. My therapist says not to try and control it and just allow the transition to happen. Not wanting to be too controling or militant, I do need to figure out the best way to plan what lies ahead, at least to some extent. FFS surgery, coming out to my kids, friends, dealing with work, when to start living ft, when to have surgery, how to pay for everything and so on. I know, deep breath but this has been a long wait and I'm looking for the signpost up ahead. Suggestions?

[Elspeth]

Make lists and calendars and be ready to change them when necessary? There are existing lists you can refer to in terms of some of the time critical things, and those things that may fit better in a particular sequence, but I expect it also depend a lot on what works for you, and which things are most important in terms of addressing your insecurities or whatever else might influence your priorities when it comes to all the myriad things to be done (and those that are often done, but are actually optional).

Making the lists is, in itself, a good way to establish for yourself what your personal priorities are, rather than accept what others suggest they should be.

[Cindy]

Yes lists are a very good idea but also be flexible, as the hormones kick in, your decisions may change and priorities may be needed. If for example you get a good response in the boob department then you may well need to think about FT early!!

I would think more about how you are going to do things. Such as how will you tell your kids? Which friends are important to you to tell early. Think about work, do you need to plan ahead to tell HR or anyone in particular? Do you have legal protection? Will that be an issue? When are you going to need to use female toilets, and will there be implications in that?

Many of these issues can be talked through with your therapaist, particularly if they are experienced in gender conditions. Mine certainly helped in some of these questions.

You also need to think about documents and name changes. How do you do that in your particular location. In Australia it is simple, but I get the feeling that it is more complicated in some parts of the USA.

You also, and I think this is important though not often discussed, is to think about being safe as a female. Woman are brought up educated to be aware that people may prey on them more than men are. And as you develop your open femininity you need to start to be aware of that  also.

For example; you may feel safe jogging around the block in the middle of the night as a guy, but as a girl it is totally different.

I'm a person who likes to be in control of situations so I do tend to plan and think ahead. I have found that to be very useful as I have transitioned because it kept my mind at ease so that I could enjoy myself and my new life as it has developed.

And yes I do mean that. You need to smell the roses on this journey and enjoy how you develop into being you. It is wonderful, and we deserve the enjoyment after so many trials have been put our way.  Ask away or search the threads for particular examples and situations, there is a host of info here so there is no need to re-invent the wheel.


Cindy

[Bets]

Thank you for your comments thus far. I can't wait to get this show on the road but still, I am cautious and perhaps a bit fearful. Flow and flexability seem to be important and while I know that love and control can't co-exist, I am looking for some general direction and a timetable. ie: My therapist thought I may want to take short term disabilty from work when we were discussing FFS, but I think she meant the bigger operation which is at least a year away. I didnt know I could get std for this? I have a lot to learn. I also just learned that I need to get the answers to some of the legal questions you pointed out (thank you) and will do more research. I suppose you are right to just get started and see what changes occur as I learn more. It would be nice to have more folks to talk to however I suppose that will come and you have been terrific. I wasnt really certain anyone would read my post or reply. Thank you both so much.
Big Hugs!