Just because I haven't seen it come up....

[ShyGothGirl]

I am gonna open a HUMONGOUS can of worms, I am sure of it... but I gotta ask...

If a person, who is an obviously prejudiced (not Bigoted) towards TG's, came in here and made a few posts, would they be welcomed here or banned? Do We automatically hop on the bandwagon and do the exact same thing these people would do to us if we tried to join their forums, or be the better people and perhaps hear them out if they actually had something INTELLIGENT to say, albeit being a little biased?

I am talking mainly about re-educating people here who are willing to learn...

I have a friend who's definitely having a major issue with my being trans, and although we still hang out, he is definitely against anything Gay/Lesbian/Bi/Trans/etc... BUT but but, he is proving to have an open mind and still hang out, and I (trying to be the good person that I a) have to grit my teeth and lay into him now and again for that narrow-mindedness creeping in...

I guess I asked this because, despite having met a few other trans, he's still under the impression that we are just "fags" "freaks" or whatever, and I guess if he I can just convince him to read on the subject, get an understanding, maybe... just maybe, I can turn this good-old boy around and open his mind and heart to a much larger view of the world...

Of course, all that attempting goes right out the window as soon as a GBLT member turns the hate on him.... cuz you know, hate begets hate...

Anyway, anxious to hear the responses for this.... allow me to go sharpen my claws...

[Dennis]

I don't mind if anyone of any views joins the forum. However my first concern is the feelings and emotional safety of members here. A polite disagreement is acceptable, but personal attacks and blanket, bigoted statements would not be.

Dennis

[RebeccaFog]

There's also a possibility that you're friend would go into severe culture shock. The people here are so entirely open that someone who is not prepared for it might need to have a paramedic onhand when they come here.   

[ShyGothGirl]

Definitely agreed on the personal attacks being unacceptable, no one likes having their feelings hurt...

The blanketed, bigoted statements *shouldn't* have to be tolerated, but if someone is already overtly "brainwashed by society" (as I like to call it) into the super-machismo state of mind, regardless of having an open mind... Shouldn't we be able to grit our teeth and try to HELP THEM reeducate themselves if they are still willing to listen?

I'm not taking about statements like "all fags should die" blah blah blah... but the occasional misuse of a term that someone may find offensive... (>-bleeped-<, for example, is ridiculously offensive to me... I know said friend tries not to use it, but it still slips out from time to time)....

Anyway, the reason I made this thread is that I have a close friend that I grew up with who has been raised as a "good-old boy" and is very gender biased to begin with (the whole "women are the lesser gender" mentality). This particular man tends to be more open to tolerating people who are a little different better than dealing with the Sheeple of the world, though he took my news of transitioning pretty hard...

It hurt to lose him as a friend for like a month or so, cuz when I was a kid (and always was pretty femme acting) no one wanted to be my friend and he still befriended me and stood up for me... he's apologized for basically being a butthead, and I forgive him, and I've kinda tried to devote a lot of time to helping him UN-learn those stupid, preconceived notions of "gender role"

thanks for the response....

[RebeccaFog]

   I probably should have said that I don't mind either as long as no hate language is used. It's one thing for a person to say "I don't understand you" and it another thing to be attacked. I trust your friend will not attack us.
   What I meant about culture shock is that some of the topics here are pretty deep. Non Transpeople are not always receptive to the extent of body modification that is naturally accepted here. He may be okay knowing you, but he may also be shocked or shaken by the concepts that we readily accept here.

   Wow. This almost like a "first contact" scenario.

   Are you considering having your friend open an account as something other than Guest?  Just curious. I have no jurisdiction. 

[ShyGothGirl]

yeah, if I can actually get him to come here hehehehehe

his response when I first asked if he wanted to come here was, "Don't I have to be gay or something? I'm not gay, man..."

LOL, I thought it was funny the way he (and alot of people do) took it as an immediate assault on his sexuality... He's still learnin, but maybe someday soon I can get him to talk to some of you, show him that we're all real people that feel, love, and live the best we can in this very very strange world hehehe

[togetherwecan]

Hi Shy...I applaud your post and bravery in broaching a subject that we should discuss.

As a member of many political mssg boards i see this kind of thing, just on a different level. Only one of the boards i belong to is for my party members only. No opposition. All the others are open to all.

That being said I echo Dennis and his concerns. I would hate for someone to come here under the guise of wanting to understand and learn only to hurt my friends. The people here are really awesome and I will protect them with all I have.

I would encourage anyone to learn. That is what an *SO* is...an *SO* isn't just a wife or husband, they are all those who surround us in our lives.

IF your friend(s) is open to learn and willing to keep his/her negative opinions to themselves and just absorb by reading and ask appropriate questions then I say YAY, bring em on