MTF in need of help

[Rachel]

I am 10 days away from my BA. I told my wife what is happening on Thursday. There was a little push back but at this point I think she realizes it is going to happen. She said things like you will look more like a freak and 550 cc is huge and you will look fake. 550 cc is about right.

I received a quote from Dr. Spiegel for VFS and a correction on my jowls to tighten the skin. November is the earliest. I need a bit more time to research his work. I will have a FTF with one of his past VFS patients at the end of the month. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

I have a quote for 2000 hair graphs and need to fit that in too, perhaps September.

I am at 200 pounds and will get to 180 in 2 months. 20 pounds down and 20 to go.

I have not been to group in 2 weeks. I wonder if I have outgrown group. I have been expressing for 20 months and am pretty comfortable. I really want to go to the 7:30 group at William Way which is a social group but it is so late when I get home. I really like the unrestricted feel of the group and no-one there will 302 you if you express distress.

My Operations Manager wants to wear a kilt on Fridays. I was thinking of getting a skirt or two and wearing them on Fridays. My boss may not be happy with kilts being worn. I think it would be fun and something I bet others will follow. The kilts would be cotton utility and in black. My staff wear all black.

[Kendra]

Rachel, Congratulations on hitting a major weight loss goal!!  I know from personal experience how difficult that can be.  Your priorities and decisions are great and it shows. 

Your Operations Manager wants to wear a kilt on Fridays, awesome!  If you coordinate and wear a skirt same day - if you can rally a few people to do the same, bring bagels or other food for at least the first Friday where a few people do this.  I've found the best way to bribe people in a corporate environment is with a $10 bag of bagels.  A quick way to make it difficult for anyone to call Skilt Friday a bad thing.

[Rachel]

Hi Kendra,

It would take a lot for me to wear a skirt at work. But if a male was doing something like wearing a kilt then it would be easier. I would need to coordinate (with him).

When I have my BA and am at 180 pounds then a dress may be something I would attempt. I need to do it well. I need to present to leadership ( a large auditorium) in September. My goal is to be in a dress. 

It is funny, 20 months ago I was a mess coming out at work. There were so many hurdles which I jumped over and yet I still stress over things to come. I stress less because I know I will look and feel better about myself and it will be ok. Still it is stressful. Skirts, leggings and dresses are the final frontier

I agree food bribes are best. Doughnuts and pretzels work wonders .

[Rachel]

I was driving with my daughter tonight. She shared with me that part of the patient population she is caring for during her clinicals are Transgender post-op. She said it is triggering but she is dealing with it.

When I came out she said to me I am dead to her and she did not believe in transgender. I hope she can grow from this clinical rotation.

BA T-9 days

[Kendra]

The fact your daughter was able to share that with you says a lot.  I think you are doing the sensible thing, being patient and hopeful she will become more accepting over time.  She already has.

Roughly 10% of people in her clinical trials are probably left handed, and if they need to fill out any forms they are allowed to write with their left hand.  In the past, writing with left hand was frowned on or not allowed. 

[Rachel]

Hi Kendra and thank you. I hope she comes around eventually.

Sometimes I just do not know how I get through a day. When I went to Papillion for my 6 month GCS check up the post visit write up said your breast augmentation is scheduled for 7/17/17. It was originally scheduled for 7/12/17. Today Lower Bucks Hospital called to do the preliminary check in and said my BA is 7/12/17. I confirmed with Papillion and then rescheduled everything back to 7/12/17. I just sent Debbie the post appointment write up with the mistake on it. I thought I was crazy but I guess not after all.

I received a quote for the 2000 hair follicle transplant including 2 days the hotel for $9,000. Insurance covers it.

I received a quote for VFS with Dr. Spiegel, he is in network and insurance covers it. I spoke with a patient that had FFS and then later VFS with him. She had a lot to say about the procedure she had and the results. She also spoke with the person shown on the internet that had VFS with Dr. Spiegel. I learned a lot last night

I am also preapproved for Dr. Haban. I do not have a quote from him or consultations.

I want VFS from Dr. Kim. I will need to pay for everything out of pocket if I go to him.

[HappyMoni]

Rachel,
   I don't speak of people's looks very often. I am one of perhaps a few folks on here who knows what you look like. I thought you were quite cute to be honest. I think you are hard on yourself Rachel. I couldn't picture you as a guy at all. That daughter needs to mature a little. It was really obvious you are female and that is the new reality. I hope she stops fighting the inevitable. More importantly, I hope she stops fighting your happiness.
Moni

[Rachel]

Hi Monica,  than you very much for your kind words. I think as the hair grows in I can see me in the mirror and he is dead. I really helps to get the feedback thank you so much.

I just returned from my breast augmentation. 555 cc cohesive silicone over the breast. In pre-op Dr. McGinn and Chrystal gave me a vaginal exam too. Dr. McGinn named my procedure. It is my last name, so if you PM me I will share the name of the procedure. She wants to do some more vaginal work at my 1 year mark to close a little of my vaginal canal opening at the bottom. Also, I have some granulation at the vaginal canal opening.

I love the people at Lower Bucks, the are so nice. They all remembered me

My BA went well and I am home now. I will be taking my pain meds for the first day and go from there. I am on a strong pain med now and will take Vicodin at 6.

I am super happy . I have boobies

[Kendra]

My BA went well and I am home now

Congratulations!!

[HappyMoni]

Hi Monica,  than you very much for your kind words. I think as the hair grows in I can see me in the mirror and he is dead. I really helps to get the feedback thank you so much.

I just returned from my breast augmentation. 555 cc cohesive silicone over the breast. In pre-op Dr. McGinn and Chrystal gave me a vaginal exam too. Dr. McGinn named my procedure. It is my last name, so if you PM me I will share the name of the procedure. She wants to do some more vaginal work at my 1 year mark to close a little of my vaginal canal opening at the bottom. Also, I have some granulation at the vaginal canal opening.

I love the people at Lower Bucks, the are so nice. They all remembered me

My BA went well and I am home now. I will be taking my pain meds for the first day and go from there. I am on a strong pain med now and will take Vicodin at 6.

I am super happy . I have boobies

Yea, you got  BOOBS! Crap, you will definitely  be a knockout now. So happy for you. Can you give us the blow by blow on this one too. I consulted with her for maybe next summer. She suggested 450 cc under the muscle. She gave me a big book to read. Is cohesive silicone the same as what I have heard called "gummy bears?" Anyway rest up my friend.
Moni
It was nice to give you honest feedback. Wow, she named a procedure after you. That's like having your own star, isn't it? And yes let's swap some pics.

[Rachel]

Hi Monica, I can share FFS and GCS before an after pics. The BA pic I can share too when the bandages are removed. I went with 555cc cohesive silicone above the muscle. I will share pics with those that are transsexual.

I shared my GCS pics when I visited you were in the hospital. You were really tired and may not remember.

My GCS had a lot of necrotic tissue on top of the graph and looks really bad when first done. Not to mention raised stretch mark scars ( I at one time was 327 pounds and now 198 , I was 202 before GCS and ballooned to 220 pounds:) Tell someone with and eating issue to eat and that is what happens) The stretch marks had really hurt. Today, Doctor McGinn was surprised by the amount of pigmentation on the gonad removal scars ( the scar the goes from below the pelvic bone to the repatriated gonad area).

[Kendra]

> I at one time was 327 pounds and now 198

Rachel you are an inspiration for all of us, in so many ways. 

And you acheived weight goals while adding a litre of material!   555 x2 = 1.1L   

[Rachel]

Thank you Kendra. Weight has been an issue all my life. I ballooned and got really thin several times in my life. I want to get to 180 pounds and stay there.

BA Particulars

I took a cab from home to Lower Bucks Hospital and my sister picked me up and dropped me home in the afternoon.

I arrived at 7:45, 45 minutes early. Everyone remembered me from November and that was really nice. When I checked in they then sent me to a room to get my blood. They knew to lay me down so I did not get a vega nerve response.

After the blood work I sat in the local waiting area till 8:30. I was taken to a room and undressed and put on a gown and hospital robe. I was there till 10:15, when they took me to pre-op. There was a lot of conversation about last time and how that all went down. Vega nerve, puking, low blood pressure and electrolytes'. They made sure to listen to me and Chrystal from Papillion.

They had trouble with hitting a vain for the blood test and had trouble getting in the IV. It was about 11:15 when the IV was in. Dr. McGinn nd Chrystal did a vaginal exam and Dr. McGinn said I am famous and had the GCS procedure I had named after my last name.  will see her in 5 months to reduce the size of my vaginal canal at the bottom. She has spent so much time and effort with me it is amazing. I shared I am vagionally and clitoral orgasmic and she was pleased.

Lower Bucks had forms for me to sign.

Chrystal went over their form and what they meant. Basically BA for a transwoman is different than Cis woman. They have to create a pocket that cis woman have and trans do not. There is a chance of blood loss if going under the muscle ( Mine was over the muscle because my pec muscle is up high, great anatomy I have).

They have to elongate the nerve that goes to the nipple and may have to sever it if I will not stretch and I would be numb at the nipples. I can not weight to see if I have nipple feeling. I love the nipple feeling so if it is gone I will be sad. From my puberty years on my nipples were so intense with feeling and a major foreplay zone.

I scooted onto the OR table. They had 2 warm blankets for me . We chatted about the GCS procedure I had the awoke in PACU.

I was very cold and they had the most delightful warming hose and two blankets on me. There was a lot of pain and I asked for pain meds. The meds help greatly. After a while I was wheeled to my room until my sister could take me home. I guess it was 2:30 when I was at my room.

When I awoke in the PACU the brief period until the pain meds kicked in there was a lot of pain.

When my to be ex-wife can home she said you are not really big. Then said I am happy about that. The week before I had installed a line in the shower so I can have a directed stream of water to help keep my vagina clean and get the lube out and have a normal vaginal smell. My wife said what is the for your fake vagina. She said it 5 or 6 times in front of our daughter. She really needs a way to get over here anger and move on.

Anyhow, the Vicodin help with the pain and I can not wait for the unveiling.

I need to mention how nice Dr. McGinn and Chrystal were yesterday. Also the Lower Bucks staff were awesome.

[Rachel]

Yesterday was my first full day after my BA. Getting up in the morning was painful. I had to get my pain meds and wait 15 minutes to get some relief. Getting up from a chair I can not push with my hands. My legs are very strong so I use them.

Today, I thought I would not have the pain getting up in the morning. Wrong, it was just as painful. After the pain med it is tolerable.

Brianna from Papillion called and asked how I am doing. I told her one side (right) hurt more than the left. She said they had trouble getting that one in and that 555 is pretty big and they usually install 300 to 400 cc implants. I am hoping the nipple nerves are not damaged.  Many of their patients are young and look fantastic and are on the small size.

I am 39 inches under my breasts and 44 inches around my breasts pre-op. I can not wait to see my breasts Monday. I was really apprehensive getting the BA but now I am so happy I did. Monday will be like opening up an awesome present.

I contacted Aetna today with an appeal for my electrolysis and GCS. They listed co-insurance and there is $8,000 I believe they owe me. The co-insurance is deceiving, it is for out of network provider and a markdown in addition to the co-pay and not counted toward co-pay. It is for out of network providers. My argument is that they do not have anyone in network for those services and thus should be allowed at full value because they have a lapse in in-network providers.

[HappyMoni]

Hi Rachel,
   I am so excited for you. Did they put them in with incision under the breast. Did they ever suggest using Progesterone cream to enlarge the nipples. She mentioned that possibility for me when I had my consult. As I recall, this was a two step procedure right? Keep blazing that trail my friend.
Moni

[Rachel]

Hi Rachel,
   I am so excited for you. Did they put them in with incision under the breast. Did they ever suggest using Progesterone cream to enlarge the nipples. She mentioned that possibility for me when I had my consult. As I recall, this was a two step procedure right? Keep blazing that trail my friend.
Moni

Hi Monica, the BA was one step. The right breast is more sore than the left breast. Briannia said the had trouble getting the right one in. They made a incision below my breast to insert the implant. I am hoping they did not damage or sever the nerve to the nipple.

Looking at the ace bandage and tape the implants do not seem large. It looks rather small right now.

It looks like a full b. Maybe later they will look bigger. I am done with the BA either ways. A full b would be ok but I was really hoping for a full c.


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[HappyMoni]

Rachel,
You are still in a compression bandage right? That will make them look smaller. How long before they can breathe without that kind of binding?
Moni

[Rachel]

Hi Monica,

The unveiling is Monday at Papillion Yes, the compression is pretty heavy and annoying. I can not wait to take a shower when I get home from the visit. I am a little nervous to find out if I still have nipple sensitivity.

My daughter has class and clinical Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday and stays at school. She then comes home for 3 or 4 days. Last night she came in ( I stayed up to make sure she got home ok) and she did not notice my boobs. Today she did not notice my boobage, odd.

I think I will get a Moo burger afterward on Main Street in New Hope or maybe the Raven and get french onion soup and fish tacos. Maybe I will go to warrior and get a second set of ear piercings. I always wanted to go into the India shop and I think I will pay them a visit.

[HappyMoni]

During recovery I spent three days across the street from the Raven. I will be thinking about you and hoping for a great result.
Moni

[Rachel]

Beautiful avatar Monica

Pain Medication,

Tuesday I had my BA, 555 ml cohesive silicone above the muscle (mu muscle sits high on my chest). When I awoke in the PACU there was about a 10 second delay before the pain kicked in. It ramped up. The Nurse asked how I was doing and I asked for pain medication. It took a few minutes for the pain to ramp back down.

Waiting for my sister to arrive in the room I asked for some additional pain medication. The medication helped but did not stop all the pain. I had s script for Vicodin and took that as soon as I got home and continued till bedtime. I awoke and getting out of bed really hurt. The meds were in the kitchen and it was painful to get out of bed and get the meds. I learned to put the meds and water next to the bed.

From Tuesday till Saturday night I was doing well on the pain meds. Then it hit me and threw up for two hours and went to bed. I awoke and got out of bed. There was 5 minutes where the nerves needed to desensitize and I am ok. No more pain medication. I have been walking 5 miles a day and feel good.

Tomorrow I go to Papillion for the unveiling.  Anyhow I am done with the pain medication and tomorrow morning I intend to get rid of the remainder. I just want to keep it just in case Dr. McGinn manipulates the implants.