Quit outing me

[anibioman]

i hate that people feel the need to out me. a friend of mine who i respect and i know she respects me and my trans status outed me to the new kid at my school who we are both friends with. granted he asked what my 'deal' was as i am straight and president of the gsa. the thing that bothers me is not that she told him because she kind of had to tell him the truth or lie. it bothers me that she didn't tell me he asked and she told him. i had to ask him to find out it was her, after he said something about it to me in front of her. i cant wait till i get out of this one horse town and dont have to worry nearly as much about this stupid stuff.

also i never know who knows what in my school so its really confusing. some people know a bit, some know nothing.

[spring0721]

Anibioman,

I'm sorry she did that to you.  I personally would have a talk with her and just ask her nicely, "if anyone asks 'what's up with me' again, just ask them to ask me." Maybe she was put in a tough situation, and high school is one big gossip fest anyway; however it still was not HER secret to tell.  Just count down the days until you're out of there and until then all you can do is take it one day at a time.  I'm wishing you lots of luck!

[Edge]

It's kind of odd that someone was asking why a straight guy is in a Gay-Straight Alliance (unless the S stands for something else in your group and, if so, I'm sorry for assuming). You'd think the title would give away the obvious answer.

[kenton_07]

I have the same exact problem at my college. This one girl I didn't even know outed me to these two kids that my friends hangout with when she walked outside with me and then returned to the table they were sitting at. Not to mention, the girl I didn't know told the two guys sitting with them that I was the other person who transitioned that I went to high school with. If she was going to tell them, at least get it right who I was. That's the negative thing about living in a small town and staying around. After graduating this May, I don't plan on being around at all as I plan to go away to continue my college education at a 4 year school.

[Ampersand]

I had a similar experience.
At lunch this group of girls that I usually sit and eat with, earlier I had explained to one of them that I'm FTM. The first one started whispering it to another one, and it kept going. They were laughing at me and making fun of me, acting like this was all just a game to them. They asked me if I was kidding, and I tried to explain to them the best I could, but they just ended up excluding me.
It hurt me terribly, but I'm glad I'm past that.
My school is largely uneducated on transgendered people. I try and explain it to them, but people usually just end up making fun of me or excluding me.

[LilDevilOfPrada]

I found most people think they are helping the other person by preventing you from "lying" about your gender, its annoying and if I could I would have little pests like that skinned alive.

But hey the best way to solve it to to confront the people doing it and tell them to F off.

Humans only listen to that when they are as ignorant as to out you.

[MRH]

My family do this a lot as they feel they are helping me somehow. Me and my mum went to see some family friends and there were a lot of people there who I had never met and I'm naturally a little worried because I'm not on T yet and although I pass as male I'm still worried about coming off as female . As the night went on I got more comfortable and I went to stand outside with my mum whilst she smoked with this girl I had just met and she said to me "(I've forgot her name) knows about you and it's fine." Then I got sympathetic looks off them both. For once I'd just like to meet someone who doesn't know I was once female.

Also what bothers me, and my family struggle to grasp, is when they accidentally refer to me as "she" in public or call me by my female name. I understand slip ups happen but if they call it out and everybody hears then everybody is instantly going to see me as female and what if I go to the toilets and the wrong guy in there knows I am biologically female and decides to hurt/rape me. They don't seem to understand that. They just say "You'll never see these people again."