i think im asexual :(

[oZma]

The way I figured out I wasn't, was just having sex lol.

this like a craigslist thing?  night clubs?  internet dating?  how do you just go have sex?  i don't get it

[Aleah]

this like a craigslist thing?  night clubs?  internet dating?  how do you just go have sex?  i don't get it

Places like TVchix . com, and internet dating sites like OKCupid (not much luck there, a lot of them chicken out but you can get lucky). Craigslist is way too sleazy but it can work in the US I guess.

Hard to do it in night clubs, how you gonna tell people your pre-op before they start hitting on you? Easier to just be up front about it online or go to places where you can find ->-bleeped-<-s like TVchix.

I do intend to go to some gay clubs soon, but that's just for dancing with girlfriends! But who knows, might meet a cute bi guy, I know they are out there..

Plus your HOT from what I've seen, I don't see how you would have any trouble 

[PHXGiRL]

I'm asexual as well. I could honestly go months without sex. The longest streak I went on was a year and 3 months. I'm thinking it will change once I have SRS. I don't want to have any sexual activity or have a partner again till I have SRS so I may destroy that record. lol.. I know in the past I needed the Viagra to help me in the bedroom. Its just blah for me doesn't interest me. I find people attractive but I'm not like gosh i'd love to have sex with them lol.

[JoanneB]

I could never understand the way sex seems to drive most people's (especially male types) lives. Don't get me wrong. I never hated the dangly bits. I do enjoy sex with a special person. I am a hopeless romatic that way.

These days with all the E in my system and extreme lack of T my low sex drive is non-existent. Add in my current good dose of a background depression over the hoplessness, futility, and not fatalism over my past prest and future.... I have nothing to get excited over.

[jainie marlena]

so i think im an aesxual... i just watched that documentary called "(a)sexual" and well it seems like i'm one of them... maybe? 

the way i understand asexuals is they just don't have an attraction to men or women.  they may masturbate, relive themselves sexually, but aren't interested in doing the sex with men or women. 

i think back in my life and my sexuality has always been an internal orientation.  it has always been about being feminine, wearing cute clothes, etc... to the point i believed  ->-bleeped-<-... granted i understand why she is wrong, but at the time i read it... it made sense to me.

so in attempt to understand my sexuality growing up, i took these feelings as "wanting to be feminine" as "wanting a feminine girlfriend" and dated girls, had sex, fell in love, etc...  i look back and i can't tell if i was attracted to these girls or if i thought i was supposed to be attracted?  sex always seemed very removed for me.  i had to think about other things in my head to get off or else i would loose my erection which caused lots of anxiety about sex.

so now after living as female for ummm 9 months and have gone on dates with guys, even slept with one, i don't really seem all that excited by the idea of men.  i even had a pre-T transman come home with me one night and try to do sex with me ~ he liked it, but wasn't really sure what i was supposed to do lol

i go back and forth in my head between whether i like boys or girls, this stresses me out... one second i think i want to be the submissive in a relationship with a guy, then the next i miss the loving relationship i had with women?  one day i tell myself i like men, the next i tell myself im a lesbian... now i'm starting to think i just don't like either and my brain just doesn't want to accept that... so i spend time trying to like guys only to realize i don't and then i go back telling myself i like women only to realize the same thing. 

but then again, it could just be my fear of being a trans?  the fact i have a penis instead of a vagina?  that i don't want anal sex with a guy?  that i don't want to be with a guy when i still have a penis? 

i think in my head i just need to give men a chance and ill realize i like them, but every time i go on a date or even think about it, i get turned off

maybe i just need a vagina?  or maybe i just need to accept that i'm asexual and neither boys or girls turn me on?  i don't know why but just thinking about being an asexual makes me cry?  it hurts

so i guess i'm wondering if anybody else has these same kind of feelings?  if anyone has experience with what i feel?

Yes to what you wrote. It has gotten really bad this last year. I just got the Idea about asexualism. But really, my sexually has become a confusing mess to me. A fews years back on this forum I said I like girl, next I like men well back to girls again. for a time I did not care for either. I think Im tired of trying to find a label. I think Im trisexual. YEAH, must be it. Lol.  good luck with that beause I still done know.

[Shang]

Not MtF, but I am asexual in the sense that I'm don't desire sex [and I don't enjoy it as a result of this; it's just something I did to please the partner].  I can easily be romantically attracted to someone [I identify as panromantic with homoromantic leanings], but that doesn't mean I want to have sex with them or that I will ever want to have sex with them.  Do I know why I identify this way?  No, I do not.  It gets confusing because occasionally I do have a sex drive, but I never mentally want to act on it.  It is never appealing to me and that's fine.

You may never know why you're asexual or semi-sexual or whatever you want to call it it.  Unless it's a hormonal imbalance that can be corrected [and that you want corrected], then it's all right and just focus on living your life how you want it.  Life can be quite fulfilling without sex and, in my opinion, is even better without it.

[Padma]

I've only recently acknowledged that I'm basically asexual - and one of the reasons it's taken so long is because in my culture, sexual desire is so relentlessly "normalised" and hyped that having little or no desire for sex is automatically pathologised. I've realised I've always had what I now think of as strong sensual attraction to people, but assumed it was sexual attraction because that's what I'd been led to expect. For sure, there are occasionally clinical reasons why someone might be asexual, but there's no reason why it should be assumed to be the case.

[Nicolette]

Perhaps you're a hermaphrodite mentally? I never have and will never have any sort of penetrative sex pre-SRS.

[Shantel]

Sex becomes desirable if it's built on a strong friendship to begin with, other than that zip! Being MtF on HRT will cause libido to tank. Some of us resort to auto-erotica (masturbation) coupled with mental fantasies and excitement at the sight of our own bodily changes. It works for awhile, but even it becomes boring. Finally having found out that a good libido is dependent on a small amount of testosterone, this is true even for cis females, I apply a tiny dollop of topical testosterone cream  applied to the anal exterior once a day following my shower. My libido came on strong, I enjoy sex now and have enjoyed full body climaxes similar to that of my cis female partner.

[Anatta]

Kia Ora Ozma,

I'm an asexual biromantic/affectionate ...No 'sexual' attraction, I just like 'people'... men, women, it doesn't matter...  My 'non' sexual orientation came out of the closet along with my gender identity...Just as I believe for many trans-women their true/deeply hidden sexual orientation comes out of the closet with their gender identity...

However I loved my ex - we had children together...I did 'enjoy' sex with her, but didn't 'crave' it...It was just something that couples did-no big deal...

I remember the first doctor I saw about going on HRT, she warned me about the possible loss of 'sex drive', it didn't worry me I had no real interest in sex anyway...

It's possible, if you are 'asexual', after a while feelings will just flow 'naturally' and become the norm ie you'll find contentment...

Meanwhile ...A light hearted look at the difference between natural asexuality and celebacy 

. A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So, the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.

The head monk, says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son." He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn't been opened for hundreds of years. Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot.

So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing, "We missed the 'R'! We missed the 'R'!" His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?" With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was... CELEB R ATE !!!" 

Being asexual is not a 'choice' : http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Asexuality

Metta Zenda

[Padma]

I meant to add to what I wrote before that I think there's a significant difference between sexual attraction (in the sense of "wanting to have sex with someone") and sexual arousal (in the sense of a physical response, i.e. getting an erection, or getting wet). We can get physically turned on even when we're not sexually attracted to someone, which can confuse the issue if we assume that being turned on always means we "want sex".

[Shantel]

His forehead is all bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, "What's wrong, father?" With A choking voice, the old abbot replies, "The word was... CELEB R ATE !!!"[/i] 

Metta Zenda

Good one, and probably true! 

[Michelle G]

I never have been a sexual person but do enjoy being close and a little passionate. It's just that I've always had such a disconnect with the boy parts that anything sexual was frustrating and at times embarrassing.

In my teens and twenties when I had the urges to "be with" a girl it was mostly to have a chance to explore a female body and to dream/imagine me having the same features they have...more frustrations for sure!

Yes I consider myself asexual, but I honestly don't see it as a bad thing at this point. I haven't had sex in over 8 years and even that attempt was quite boring.

I do like to look sexy sometimes though, so asexual is not really how I want to appear if that makes sense.