Kids

[myles]

OK I wasn't sure what category to put this in so I'm putting it in the general board.
I am just starting my journey and have 2 kids 7 and 8 and a SO I've been with for 15 years. She is incredibly understanding and actually pointed out to me that I am much happier when I am my male self. Anyway she really wants me to come up with a plan am I going to go on T if so when surgery if so when. She wants me to decide so we can tell the kids ASAP. She thinks its better if we let them know when they are younger and that it will be easier for them to adjust. The kids are both adopted internationally so they have had a lot to go thru in thier young lifes and seem to deal with things as troopers.
Unfortunately I don't want to rush any of my decisions and want time to think this out clearly (ok well as clearly as possible). At this point Myles only exists while the kids are away or in bed so basicaly from 8pm - 6am.
SO I guess my question is if you have kids can you please tell me your opinion or any advise. I have already done a search on the forum and read all the archives that have to do with Kids that I could find.  I plan on buying a book mentioned. At this point I'm just trying to get thru the rest of the week, so any opinions would be helpful.
Thanks
Myles

[Nero]

OK I wasn't sure what category to put this in so I'm putting it in the general board.
I am just starting my journey and have 2 kids 7 and 8 and a SO I've been with for 15 years. She is incredibly understanding and actually pointed out to me that I am much happier when I am my male self. Anyway she really wants me to come up with a plan am I going to go on T if so when surgery if so when. She wants me to decide so we can tell the kids ASAP. She thinks its better if we let them know when they are younger and that it will be easier for them to adjust. The kids are both adopted internationally so they have had a lot to go thru in thier young lifes and seem to deal with things as troopers.
Unfortunately I don't want to rush any of my decisions and want time to think this out clearly (ok well as clearly as possible). At this point Myles only exists while the kids are away or in bed so basicaly from 8pm - 6am.
SO I guess my question is if you have kids can you please tell me your opinion or any advise. I have already done a search on the forum and read all the archives that have to do with Kids that I could find.  I plan on buying a book mentioned. At this point I'm just trying to get thru the rest of the week, so any opinions would be helpful.
Thanks
Myles

I don't have kids, but I agree that the younger they are, the better they handle it. Also younger kids tend to just accept things. Just tell them you're a boy and not a girl, and you'll be making some changes and that's that. For some reason, the older they get, the harder the idea will be to grasp.

[Andrew]

I've found that young kids are often much more accepting than adults. Their ideas of "boy stuff" and "girl stuff" aren't really formed yet. A few months ago I was a teaching assistant in a fourth grade classroom, and we were making paper flowers. I was making a pink one because that was the color closest at hand, and someone commented jokingly on it. One of the little boys said something along the lines of, "I don't think there's such thing as a boy color or a girl color," which is true when you think about it. It used to be that pink was a male color and blue female, which seems weird until you realize that there's no inherent reason to designate them as such, and kids don't realize it until later.

When I told my young cousin, her first response was: "Do you want to see my new doggy?" (She'd gotten a stuffed dog from those Build-A-Bear stores at the mall.)

[GQjoey]

I don't have kids of my own, but I can relate to your story a little. My step brother has a son who is now 10, he's seem me as his "uncle" since age 4. He mimicks every thing I do, tries to dress like me, talk like me, pretty much is my little mini me. He's a very bright, open minded little boy. He's grown up in the bay area, and both of his parents have friends in the glbt community. Told me at age 6 it's "ok for boy to love another boy", because he was taught not to judge, anyone.

Well up until a few months ago, he knew nothing of me being trans. He knew me as his uncle J. Unfortunately his mother and father started having issues, decided to seperate, a whole nother story in itself. And his mother decided to be a (rhmes with witch) and tell my nephew without me present, all about me being trans. She had brought it up when he was about 8, saying she "knew he'd understand, and he needs to know eventually". Ok, that's fine, but I'd rather tell him myself, and didn't think he was really old enough to understand. Well, she told him while they were on vacation. I was living at their house at the time, he came back, the first day he was kinda quiet around me. But the second day he was back to being the little annoyin turd he was before, didn't really ask me any ?'s. I know he doesn't understand fully, but one day I will explain it all to him. I know he still sees me as his uncle J.

I think your kids already have very open minds. Even if you're a "mommy" from 8-6, I assume they know you're in a relationship with another woman? I definitely think they'd benefit greatly from knowing NOW, rather than later on. They're still young, and learning, and would be able to get used to you changing. I agree with Andrew, kids are so much more accepting than adults. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best of luck.