I am new to this site - and typically do not seek out advice, but I need some. I have been in a relationship with an ftm for @ 5 years - through his transition process etc. We had many difficult times - but kept going back to each other. Up until the time we got married last year (he kept pressing the issue of marriage and since we were doing very well for quite awhile I thought we were ready), but after we got married his behavior towards me changed greatly. We currently don't live together for valid reasons having nothing to do with our relationship. We only live about 1/2 hr. away and in the past he would become mad at me if we didn't spend any time together. But now weeks can go by without much notice from him that we are not spending time together. I keep so many of my feelings to myself, but eventually get upset. When I try to tell him that we need to talk about specific things happening in our marriage - like whenever I tell him about what I am thinking or feeling - he becomes so defensive and blames me for his behavior - which never addresses the issue - if anything it validates my initial concern.
I don't want to have the thought that he married me just to legitimize himself in the eyes of society. It really hurts to even think that. Yet, when we speak, almost 2 times a day, he tells me how much he misses me and asks if I love him and will I always love him and will I get tired of him and want a "real guy" - The thought never crosses my mind in the way he thinks, which is sexually, but what does cross my mind is how men (in good relationships) treat their wives. Maybe I am stereotyping. I told him we need to work on the problems, especially when weeks go by and we don't see each other, nor does he make any effort at even wanting to see me.
He tells me it is all me and my issues -
Does anyone have insight into this?
Luna
