Brynn Tannehill
Defense research scientist
Improving Conversations About Transgender Issues
Posted: 01/22/2013 2:59 pm
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brynn-tannehill/improving-conversations-about-transgender-issues_b_2508554.html?utm_hp_ref=gay-voicesWhen LGB and straight people inquire about our experiences as transgender people, they often feel like they are stepping into a mine field: What words should I use? What questions are off-limits? What in the past is ok to ask about? So they pull back and don't engage, and as a result, they walk away hanging on to whatever preconceived notions they had before.
Frequently, though, telling our stories just plain hurts. It exposes us to ridicule and gawping and risks opening old wounds. However, the thing that is killing us, sometimes literally, is the lack of exposure to and education on transgender issues among our would-be allies, and the resultant lack of acceptance of us as people. We are left with our own no-win scenario.
Don't ask us, and we won't be offended.
Don't tell them, and we won't get hurt.
Don't ask and don't tell, and nothing changes for the better.
When I began coming out at work, it was the most mortifying thing I had ever done. I had no idea what stereotypes these people had, what they were going to do or how it would change how they saw me. I had zero control, and if they chose to use what I told them to hurt or humiliate me, I had little recourse. As I told more and more of my supervisors, my HR manager observed that I seemed more comfortable telling people.
