Taking care of your hair:

[Shodan]

*grumbles*
At least you all have hair. Thanks, genetics!

[Beth Andrea]

Also, about once or twice a week I don't shampoo/condition at all. Not because I'm following any regimen, but because I either wake up late, or it's my weekend.

[EmmaS]

Wow that is a lot of information to take in and it will definitely help me I think. I suppose my next step would be to buy a better shampoo brand and to buy a conditioner in general. When I was in high school though, my mother told me I shouldn't use conditioner because my hair made far too many oils and it would get oily the very day I showered. I'm guessing that isn't going to work for me though and my hair could have become less oily after starting hormones I suppose. I think after I get my hair trimmed, I'm going to ask the hair stylist to recommend a shampoo and conditioner for me and then follow that. I read that I don't need to get it trimmed because it will still grow at normal speed but my hair is a complete mess and I think I will look a lot better if I get a gender neutral haircut and then continue to grow it out, or do you think that is a bad idea? For now, I'm going to wait a week and see what my hair is like without shampooing it(Hopefully I won't stink) and then I will go from there.

Hmm, I feel like I'm reading mixed things about straightening your hair and although I've never done it before, once I do go full time I was planning on straightening it a lot more because I like straight hair, but if it's damaging I wouldn't want to do that on a regular basis. I really appreciate all of the answers that I got and all of the time that went into it. Also thank you for all the tips that you all left, they all made sense and I'm definitely guilty of having some of my hair in my face.

Emma

[Lyric]

...I think I will look a lot better if I get a gender neutral haircut...

I'll vote against aiming for a "gender neutral haircut". For one thing, I'm not sure there really is a "neutral" haircut anymore, really-- at least once you get get out Amish country, anyway. Since the early 1980s I've worn a variety of cuts I deliberately patterned after female celebrities and was always accepted as male when I wanted to be.

Early on I learned an interesting thing about the public acceptance of long hair for men. That is that when your hair looks really good-- whether in a style normally worn by either gender-- people are more accepting of the way you look. If your hair is an uncommon or goofy long cut, you'll get flap now and then. Look really good and you can get away with most anything.

~ Lyric ~

[EmmaS]

I'll vote against aiming for a "gender neutral haircut". For one thing, I'm not sure there really is a "neutral" haircut anymore, really-- at least once you get get out Amish country, anyway. Since the early 1980s I've worn a variety of cuts I deliberately patterned after female celebrities and was always accepted as male when I wanted to be.

Early on I learned an interesting thing about the public acceptance of long hair for men. That is that when your hair looks really good-- whether in a style normally worn by either gender-- people are more accepting of the way you look. If your hair is an uncommon or goofy long cut, you'll get flap now and then. Look really good and you can get away with most anything.

~ Lyric ~

Those are extremely good points and I do agree with you that men can get away with long hair generally. My one thing that is really driving an attempt at a "gender neutral" haircut is that I still have a job and am enrolled in classes for quite a while longer and so as more changes happen, I want to easily still be perceived as a "straight male" until I go full time and I don't think I will be able to for months longer if I don't. Any thoughts? Otherwise, I completely agree with all of your points.

[Lyric]

I want to easily still be perceived as a "straight male" until I go full time

I've heard this same sort of thing from a lot of TG people and I have to say it's never made sense to me. I'm pretty sure if the people around you will accept an abrupt switch from looking like a conservative male to looking like a conservative female, they should easily accept some transitional stages. I believe this sort of thinking has more to do with your own mindset than anyone else's.

I think what the people around us want most from us is honesty. If you're pretending to be someone you're not, you are not serving them very well that way. On the other hand, if you, inside yourself, still feel the need to perceived as entirely male-- at least some of the time-- that's another thing.

~ Lyric ~

[EmmaS]

I think what the people around us want most from us is honesty. If you're pretending to be someone you're not, you are not serving them very well that way. On the other hand, if you, inside yourself, still feel the need to perceived as entirely male-- at least some of the time-- that's another thing.

~ Lyric ~

Well I definitely have no desire to be male in any fashion, it's just more of a safety issue for work because I have no interest in "coming out" to my coworkers and probably not my boss either. People that are close to me already know about my transition, so I'm not worried about them, but everyone else in society who will see me if that makes sense at all.

[Lyric]

It sounds like you're planning an employment transition to accompany your gender transition and perhaps that will ease things for you. I'll admit from long experience that it isn't always easy to be something other than a cookie cutter gender stereotype. I admit I still wish I could macho up a bit when I take the car into a mechanic's garage. There's just something about those guys...

~ Lyric ~

[EmmaS]

It sounds like you're planning an employment transition to accompany your gender transition and perhaps that will ease things for you. I'll admit from long experience that it isn't always easy to be something other than a cookie cutter gender stereotype. I admit I still wish I could macho up a bit when I take the car into a mechanic's garage. There's just something about those guys...

~ Lyric ~

My plan is to leave this job and just finish out school as a student only and transition this summer, that way when I enroll in classes in the fall, I can enroll as Emma. My dilemma is what to do with my hair in the mean time because that is another 3 months in the future. Yeah, but I'd rather be myself in the end though, and that's my goal ultimately whether it's a stereotypical female or not.

[Alainaluvsu]

All I can say is if you pass well as a man, chances are you won't pass well as a female. I found the more female I looked without any makeup at all, the more I passed with men. Its going to be hard to pass one day looking totally male and the next day you're a girl. But I think the biggest hurdle we have to not get crazy looks is to break many male mannerisms (elbows close, legs together for example). You may be passing, but society still looks at even cis gender women a bit wonky if they aren't presenting certain manners.

I guess I'm saying if you don't start trying to bring the girl in you out a bit more, the first few months are going to probably unnecessarily difficult.

[EmmaS]

All I can say is if you pass well as a man, chances are you won't pass well as a female. I found the more female I looked without any makeup at all, the more I passed with men. Its going to be hard to pass one day looking totally male and the next day you're a girl. But I think the biggest hurdle we have to not get crazy looks is to break many male mannerisms (elbows close, legs together for example). You may be passing, but society still looks at even cis gender women a bit wonky if they aren't presenting certain manners.

I guess I'm saying if you don't start trying to bring the girl in you out a bit more, the first few months are going to probably unnecessarily difficult.

Well my face has been changing a lot, and overall in the end I'm not too worried about physically passing. As for mannerisms, I do tend to be more feminine in my movements, and I'm already starting to get strange looks when I go out in public. I feel like I can pass as a male so well because I try to be confident and show that to others so they don't question it. It's not who I am, and I'm extremely uncomfortable living as a male and my friends have told me after I "came out" to them that I was a lot more feminine around them. Who knows, maybe I don't pass very well as a straight male and just no one says anything to me, but I've had several people who know me come up to me recently and confront me about it.

[Beth Andrea]

Tell the stylist what you'd like to see...they can do anything, from a buzz to just a "dusting" to even things up, and let them know what kind of image you'd like to present.

I told mine I was trans, and wanted a definite female haircut, but one that would look good with my man-skull...she fixed it up right, and told me what would, and would not, look good on me.

[A]

Emma, I would personally advise against having a haircut. From your picture, your hair is still in, or just out of that "awkward stage" that is longer-but-still-short-ish hair. A haircut might just prolong the agony. Moreover, if you get a haircut while still not 100 % going as female, you -will- have elements that you don't like in it. I advise you do just as I did and am doing: endure the bad hair for a bit more, and it'll get better. Once you can safely tie it with an elastic, how bad or good it looks doesn't matter much anymore.

(Although to be honest, I really should get a little cut to get rid of my numerous broken and split ends, but I'm just so scared of making a mistake or making it just short enough so it can't stay out of my face AGAIN.)

[EmmaS]

Emma, I would personally advise against having a haircut. From your picture, your hair is still in, or just out of that "awkward stage" that is longer-but-still-short-ish hair.

You aren't talking about the avatar right? I'm assuming you saw one of the "boy" mode pictures that I posted in a different thread?

[A]

I am talking about the avatar. oo' It's not you?

[EmmaS]

I am talking about the avatar. oo' It's not you?

it's me, that is a wig.

[A]

Oh. Then seeing as I'm awful at searching, I'm going to be needing a link. xD

[EmmaS]

Oh. Then seeing as I'm awful at searching, I'm going to be needing a link. xD

Sure here

[A]

Mmmmh... Then yeah. What I said, times two. The awkward stage seems even longer when people have curly hair. You wouldn't want to make it worse.