Made my next step, but now feel really down

[Miss Placed]

(Was tempted to post this in the 'are you in crisis' thread)

Had my appointment with my new Doctor today.

I had written a three and half page introduction/background for him (and whoever he passes it on to), as I knew I wouldn't be able to remember all when faced with my first professional. He scanned it it over and we chatted.

Turns out he has 'two or three' other TG patients, said that the practice had a limited budget, but that they would find the budget to help me (we have the National Health service here, it's free, but the govt has been tugging on the purse strings for years). He even mentioned a budget for surgery (which I have to admit took me aback, but impressed me).

He said he knew someone who would be help with therapy, someone close to the pratice.

However, when I asked about how long I could expect before I see them, he said 'a couple of months'.... ... months.... I know that this is a long long road, but I need to see someone and soon.

Every day I feel my progression speeds up, and I know damn well that up ahead there is a very hard brick wall, I need to see someone NOW!

I made sure that he fully understood this and he said he'd try to get them to see me soon, or try to look outside the area, where the set up wasn't such a 'quagmire' (exact word he used).

He took my mobile number and told me to ring him next week on either wednesday morning or friday morning to have a chat to see how I am getting on.

I feel I am close to crisis, I fear I am spinning out of control.

[stephanie_craxford]

Hello Lyn-Jean,

I know how you feel, "how come everyone is not treating this as urgent?".  We all go through this, we need things to happen quickly, if not yesterday, but it's the system we have to work with.  Two months is not so long when you consider that the changes you are venturing on are life long.  I had to wait a month and a half before I got in to see my therapist.  Don't forget they you are not their only patient.  I have an appointment to see my new Endo and that's in May 2006, that's right 2006.  But hey it's not the end of the world there is other issues I can pursue in the mean time, and this is what you should be doing.  The subject of financing for SRS was a good point.  Why not spend those two months or so getting a handle on that.

Be a patient patient   Good things come to those who wait...

Take care,

Steph

[Miss Placed]

Yeah I know its a long long road, and I dare not rush it, even if I could, but I didn't think initial therapy would be that far off.

When I fell ill in 2001, and I worked for HP at the time, I got to see a psychiarist within days.

[Cassandra]

Hi Lyn-Jean,

Steph gives great advice. Listen to her. I can't imagine what it might be like for you. Being here in the US we are used to medical on demand service. I guess we're pretty spoiled in that area. If a doctor tells me I have to wait a month or something I open the yellow pages and call one that can see me today. Little harder when were talking transgender but it is possible.

There is a therapist, I can't think of his name who does telephone consultation for $125 an hour. There are one or two threads here that mention him. I'm sure somebody can point out were that is. Anyway if you can put together the scratch that could be a more immediate option for you. At any rate keep the faith. You can talk to us in the mean about most things and we will try to be as much help as we can. Like Steph said be patient. I know it sounds trite but Rome was not built in a day.

Good Journey,

Cassie

[harbour]

hey,
having been though the british mental health service a little i know what you mean, it took me about a month before i could see a regular run of the mill councellor, and even then there was a month between my second and third (last) appointment because she went on holiday, the only advice i can give you is to hang in there, you could spent the time figuring out what you want to say to the therapist, make a list of things you want to cover and take it with you, that way you wont leave the appointment with a feeling of it being wasted (hopefully)

chin, chin (sounded good at the time)

[LostInTime]

Sorry to read that it is going to take so long but I am sure the time will fly by before you know it. 

I had a shock when I made my initial appointment for my endoc.  I had to schedule three months out so there I was with hormone letter in hand and counting down the days.  Then when I did get to see her it took two weeks to get the first set of blood results back and then I had to have some others panels done, etc, etc.

[Sarah Louise]

Your right, the system isn't designed to make things easy or quick.  I think sometimes they purposely make things slow to give more time to think before acting.

Sarah

[Cassandra]

Then when I did get to see her it took two weeks to get the first set of blood results back and then I had to have some others panels done, etc, etc.

In the words of the great Rosanne Rosanna Danna, "If it's not one thing it's another."  >

[LostInTime]

It was my choice to see someone who is highly regarded or try and find someone on my own.  My very first endoc was an ass and endangered my life by just wanting to collect money from me every three months on injections.  He never did any bloodwork at all.  Plus I rarely saw him, he usually had a student come in and chat with me for a few minutes (same conversation every time) and then he would pop in, inject, and wave goodbye.  $80 please.

My new endoc rocks and is very well respected in the field and by the community and I am glad that I opted to wait rather than just rushing to get back on hormones.

[cjbutterfly]

Lyn, I too went through the British NHS, and when I went to Charing Cross, my psych appointments were once every six months, tho that was eventually moved up to every four months.

The wait is very frustrating, but the time can be used to think about your situation, and take up self analasys, a process that is quite necessary for you to be 100% sure that transitioning is the right thing for you to do.

Be patient, use the time to becoming more accustomed to living as a female, your battles are to come, and you'll need all of the mental, and emotional strength you can muster.

KWIM

[Miss Placed]

Thanks for all the replies, sorry for the late reply, I have been pondering things somewhat.

Happily since my trip to the doctors and my initial post, I have felt things slow down in me, and feel much more in control.

In spite of this I decided to take a small step. I found an Electrolysist near me and have made a booking to have part of my beard cleared. It's an irritating patch on the front of my neck which I can never get a close shave for, so even if I go no further it is something that would make me feel better whatever.

When I made the booking I decided to be open with the Electrolysist and tell them what I may be. A risky step, I know, but it may prove to have been a good gamble, as she told me she has several TG clients, who have mentioned local support groups in past appointments with her. Said she would contact them to find out more info about these for me.

Plus, my parents came back from vacation yesterday, and this evening I sat down with my mum and told her what I think is going with me (my dad already knows). I had been really worried about telling her, as I felt she was close minded and bit bigoted... how wrong I was.

She understood everything I told her, I went through all the potential stages of transition, but made sure she realised that this was all theoretical, and that I probably would not make the journey, or maybe even start it at all.

She said she felt sad about the possibility of losing her son, but happy that I could be finally finding myself after all these years adrift. She would support me 100%, no matter how far I decided to go. We then went downstairs and chatted to my dad too. It was a good evening.

[beth]

           That is so great to hear Lyn-Jean.  Having your parents know and understand is a wonderful thing.




beth

[stephanie_craxford]

Hello Lyn-Jean,

I imagine that you are floating on air right now, and breathing a little easier.  That's great news, keep us posted on how thigs progress.

Chat later,

Steph 

[JenniferElizabeth]

Hi Lyn-Jean,
  Glad to see you had very ubderstanding parents, something most of us hope for, but, most wont get.
Hang in there dear, I know a couple months is alot of time, when you want to get started. I actually found my endo first. And started on hrt Before I found my therapist.
Then my first therapist wasnt very experinced with GID.
She, had to search the internet and books to really try and help. So. just be patient, you already have a good start with supporting parents.

[Miss Placed]

Thanks for the replies.

I haven't really been too active on Susan's of late, for a number of reasons.

However, I will give this update. My therapy appointment came through early, and I have my first one next Monday (14th Nov).

I am not sure if I am seeing a Psychiatrist or a Gender Specialist, but at least it's another step.

[stephanie_craxford]

Hey there Lyn-Jean

Another step of many.  Just remember hon, that you are going to encounter many highs and lows as you move forward.  Have a plan and take each step one at a time, and don't take on too much at one time, that way you lessen the risk of tripping up.

Keep us posted on how your therapy session goes, it would be interesting to read your comments.

Take care,

Steph

[Shelley]

Sounds very positive Lyn-Jean,

As Steph said we all have our ups and downs but at least it sounds like your on the right track.

Good luck and as they told Brian try to always look on the bright side.

Shelley