How did you start your transition?

[Barbara Ann]

Well, today marks the three month mark since beginning my journey; and it seems like a whirlwind to me. In that time, I've gotten a therapist, started HRT, started electrolysis - whew! I also started growing my hair and had it colored. I have talked with my wife about needing to express my feminine self. She is the one who hooked me up with her hairdresser.

I'd be interested in hearing what the beginning months of your transitions were like.

-Barb

[cindianna_jones]

We were in Hawaii.  We had a wonderful day together and an intimate interlude in the beautiful suite I had secured for our first night.  I'd been married for ten years and had two children 5 and 2 years old.

"Did you buy something for me?" she asked.  I had no idea what she was talking about. "Huh?" I replied. "I saw some intimate things in the garage and I thought that you had bought them for me" she continued.  I had no idea what it was that she had seen.  I had been caught a few months before.  I had left something out during a weekend she was away with family and it had created a real hell in our lives. 

I had promised to not do it again, we had counseled with our church authorities, and we were starting to live a normal life again. In fact, the trip to the islands was a celebration of our love and happiness together.  But I had not been able to hold on to the path of abstinance.  I had since rented a storage locker and had placed all of my new clothing, wigs, and female travel necessities in that.  When I went out of town, I would stop at the storage locker, and grab my "other" bag for the trip.

But somehow, something had ended up in plain site for her to see and she had seen it. She knew full well what it was.  And I could not answer her.  I could not talk about it all night as she cried and grilled me for hours on end.

That was the beginning of the end of our marraige.  I could not talk to her about it. She would not hear of it. The only acceptable solution was to deny my innerself and forsake being female at all times. I wanted to die that night.

For the next few months, our lives were absolute hell as she confronted me every day when I returned home from work. Church authorites were again brought in to my private secret. I received blessings and counseling. My leadership at work were involved. I could not stand it any longer.

One Saturday morning, I packed a couple of bags and said goodbye to her and my little children. I could not face them, bringing so much sadness into their lives like this. I believed I was a pervert and that my life would poison their young little minds.  I drove south 40 miles and rented a very very small apartment.

That was the beginning of my transition. A vacation that was to be a happy one together, torn apart by the revelation that I could not and would not change.

Cindi

[Jezzy~]

Hiyas.

   Barb, I totally know what u mean! It feels like I could just burst Im so happy having found myself, my true self. Right in front of me the whole time! Not that my male facade would ever know it! ;p  Good luck and I hope that everything just goes so very well 4 u *hugg*!
   But Cindi...oh dear. Im so sorry your transition couldnt have started in a more positive way, but I hope that u r now happy. Have seen some bad things turn into something really wonderful and uplifting. Hope thats the case 4 u.
   Honestly, Im just beginning my transition. Btw I really like that word. I dunno but it fits so well. But n-e-wayz, it's not hard at all 4 me. Not personally, because I have been transitioning inside 4 yrs but switching back and forth, living a double life. And I never dreamed that this person inside was the real me. It took the words of close friends and a profound sense of being 'lost' somehow 2 bring this about. But Im at the beginning....way in the beginning. My transition has started by letting the person I have been becoming just come out! I talk how my inner self has always talked, and I allow myself 2 like waht my inner self has always liked. And if I wanna get emotional oh I will get emotional. Yah!
   Oh and u would think (and I know it's usually this way 4 most) I would really be terrified about the time when I confess myself 2 my SOs, who I love so much. But 4 me, I think it's going 2 be e-z. Weird, I know but I just have no doubt this is me. And anyone who just cant understand or accept, I will still love them but I'm okay with it. This is who I am. Take it or leave it (hopefully take it ;p).
   And I would rather be who I am, inside and out, than keep pretending 2 be something Im not! ^__^

Jezzy~

[ssindysmith]

My BF and I had been dating for about 2 years he new of my secret desires to be feminine, I always played the feminine role in or relationship and was quite androgen, his company was throwing a huge formal black tie dinner with spouses and GF invited, our gay lifestyle is a huge no no in his corporate world, he asked if I would like to go as his GF I was besides myself, I was like a giddy high school girl being asked to the prom it took me almost a week to develop the right look, my pink mohawk just wouldn't cut it our dinner went off without a hitch I bonded with a few of the other "wives", group "TT" visits and all, shortly after that I began seeing my therapist began HRT a few body mods and the rest is history

[Kate]

I'd be interested in hearing what the beginning months of your transitions were like.

God... PAIN. Unbearable, stomach-cramping, sobbing on the bathroom floor emotional PAIN. I'm still not sure how I survived last year. I really don't. My transition itself has almost been like a fairy-tale, but GETTING to that point... of actually doing it... omg. That HURT.

My early months (if you count therapy as the beginning) were filled with doubts about whether or not GID was a real condition or some weird obsession... starting laser hair removal... fixing my teeth... lying to my wife about "no, I'd never transition, and I'd never do hormones, I just need to figure out how to cope with all this," all the while crying myself to sleep at night knowing and fearing where I knew I was headed.

~Kate~

[zombiesarepeaceful]

EDIT: Oh. HOW did i start. Ummm. I always knew I wasn't female. I just got to a point where I couldn't take looking at a female in the mirror. Before I knew what was up I said "everyday I wake up and the mirror mocks me cuz I'm still not a guy". After I quit school  it was easier to go ahead with transition.

Matt

[Jeannette]

I was quite tired of my fake life and transition was my only way out to happiness.

[cindianna_jones]

... and Tink... how prophetic were the words of that man.  For God did take you away from that life and gave you the tools to make a new one. And here you are sharing it with us today.

Hip hip hooray!

I'm so terribly glad you are still with us.  You have brought so much joy into my life this past year.

Chin up!

Cindi

[katia]

my parents found my unsupervised stash of estrogen while organizing  my book stand (yea, whatever!).  they already knew i was up to something since quite a few people had commented on my "very" feminine appearance.  i received lecture after lecture on that unforgettable day, yet, at the same time, it was the start of a new life.

[RuthChambers]

Slowly, very slowly. Lots of research, lots of time for family to get used to the ides, lots of planning about what to do about work, meeting other trans people, building up a support network, understanding the risks. Learning about and understanding the standards of care.
Now the ball is rolling, initial consultations complete, referrals under way, dates are being set, and the transition process has started.
Some people jump in and get it all over and done with, I prefer one small step at a time, at my own pace. I have already started working as Ruth but it will be October before I do my legal change of name. Living two lives can be complicated but it can be done and it gives time for those around me to adjust to my changes.
Good luck with your transition, I hope it works out well for you.
Ruth

[Yvonne]

After enduring numerous surgeries and receiving artificial testosterone as a result of my intersexuality, I had to tell my parents and doctors know that they were making a horrendous mistake.  They had assigned me "male" at birth without my consent and approval and over the years I had received several corrective surgeries to make my sexual organs more
male-appearing.  At puberty they had given me artificial testosterone to develop into a normal male but I was a girl and they didn't know that.  I had to speak up.  When I told them, they got very upset and we started to reverse what the doctors had done.