When a relative is transgender
Posted by Barbara F. Meltz
January 28, 2013 06:00 AM
http://www.boston.com/community/moms/blogs/child_caring/2013/01/when_a_relative.htmlMy brother is married to a transgendered individual. "B" lives as a woman but is still, biologically/physically, a man. When people meet her, it's often obvious to them that she is really a man. "B" has been with my brother for over 15 years now and both my daughters call her "aunt" and do not realize she is a man.
My oldest is 12 and my youngest is 8. I do not want to keep secrets from them ... do I raise the transgendered issue? Do I wait for them to ask? They're going to ask some day, I know and I don't want them to feel like this is a deep dark secret (though my brother and his spouse do not discuss the issue -- ever).
Looking for your advice Barbara. Thanks in advance.
From: LadyDi, Westford, MA
Dear LadyDi,
Start with your brother. Let him know that as your girls are getting older, you are less and less comfortable keeping this family secret. You know that sooner or later, they will question and wonder about their "aunt;" that you don't want them to hear and/or rely on rumors or gossip; that you want to model an open and honest relationship. See what he says. Have he and his spouse thought about this? Do they want to be involved in the disclosure?
