When it comes to surnames

[GentlemanRDP]

Alright, so I am once again debating a name change...Thank goodness that I haven't changed any legal documents yet. Phew. Anywhosits, For over two years, I've been going by one name, for a while I had the middle name Aiden - but I changed it after realizing that every other transguy seems to be an Aiden. I decided that I wanted to change my legal last name to what is my birth name, but honestly...I'm not so sure anymore. This would mean that my last name would become Curry (While I like the idea of having the same surname as Tim Curry, that's also a bit of a problem to me) Not because I'm not a fan, because I most certainly am. However the thing is that I plan on going into acting, at least, that's what I'm trying to do. So I would like the avoid the associations with the actor, but it's not only that. The other thing is that I'm just not so sure that I like the way that it sounds. Normally, I wouldn't post my name on the internet, buuuut, since it's not my legal name, and now I'm fairly sure that I won't be using it, I feel pretty safe, and I want you guys to know what I'm talking about as far as sounding strange.

The name that I've been planning on is Darius Gray Curry.

I've always taken more of a liking to just the Darius Gray bit, but lately I don't even think that I like the middle name anymore.

I feel obligated to keep it the same somehow...and yet, it's bothering me.

Darius is who I am, that's not changing, but the other two might.

My question is. I know how common it is to keep your last name, but I don't want to keep my 'maiden' name, because that side of the family has more or less...well, they don't talk to me much, and the majority of them do not support or even acknowledge my transition - these feelings have made me want to change my surname. But it feels strange to me to consider it, because it designates what family you came from (Which is bittersweet for me) I like my surname by birth (Which I won't release) But, I feel that it doesn't go well with the name Darius.

How many of you have or are considering on changing your last name? And how did you decide?

[Tossu-sama]

I actually considered to change my last name but eventually decided to stick with the one I've had since birth. The one I was considering to take has actually been used back in my family line and it's seriously one badass name (Salama which means "lightning" in Finnish).
But then again, I'm pretty fond of my original and current last name and I'm one of the only people who currently has it. My Mom changed her last name as she got married so the only ones I share the name with is my grandmother and grandfather's brother's family (Mom's side).

Plus my fiancé said she prefers to take my current last name when we get married (no idea when that's gonna happen, lol). Not that this really had anything to do with my decision but it was nice to hear that from her.

[Beth Andrea]

I changed my last name. I had rather liked my surname prior to transition, but during the process it became pretty strongly associated with my male past. Not good.

While considering what should I change it to, I thought about the other 2 last names I'd had in my life, my birth name, and the first adoptive name. (My 'male' name was my second adoptive family's name) Neither of them had any significance to me, no "inner meaning"...

So I knew I'd have to change it. I thought about it, and I choose a very unique and peculiar last name...but I don't care what others think, it has a special meaning for me so it is truly mine.

[GentlemanRDP]

I actually considered to change my last name but eventually decided to stick with the one I've had since birth. The one I was considering to take has actually been used back in my family line and it's seriously one badass name (Salama which means "lightning" in Finnish).
But then again, I'm pretty fond of my original and current last name and I'm one of the only people who currently has it. My Mom changed her last name as she got married so the only ones I share the name with is my grandmother and grandfather's brother's family (Mom's side).

Plus my fiancé said she prefers to take my current last name when we get married (no idea when that's gonna happen, lol). Not that this really had anything to do with my decision but it was nice to hear that from her.

Thanks for your input. That is a pretty badass name, but then again, everything sounds better in Finnish if you ask me.

I changed my last name. I had rather liked my surname prior to transition, but during the process it became pretty strongly associated with my male past. Not good.

While considering what should I change it to, I thought about the other 2 last names I'd had in my life, my birth name, and the first adoptive name. (My 'male' name was my second adoptive family's name) Neither of them had any significance to me, no "inner meaning"...

So I knew I'd have to change it. I thought about it, and I choose a very unique and peculiar last name...but I don't care what others think, it has a special meaning for me so it is truly mine.

Thank you very much for your comments, I appreciate hearing your experience!

[Justin 21]

I kept my last name now it no longer ends with my father plus there are only 4 people with my last name now in my country and we are all related 

[Nicole]

Kept my last name because it was what my mother wanted.

[King Malachite]

Honestly, I'm torn.

I LOVE my last name and I want to keep it.  The meaning behind it pretty much fits my personality (which contrary to my first name which the meaning of it is completely opposite of my personality.  However, changing all of the documents gives me something new to look foward to and I want a unique last name that is somewhat related to anime. 

Even if when my father disowns me, I still want to keep my current last name even though I don't think it goes well with Malachite.  What I may do is just pick another last name and just tack it on to the one I have.

Or I may take my last name and have it be my middle name while choosing another last name.

I don't know. 

[Zerro]

Changed my last name. My dad cut me off, so I didn't want any more reminders of his crazy b/s in my life. I chose a last name with my supportive mum, since my new first name didn't quite work with her maiden name.

[Simon]

I changed my last name. I liked my old last name (Simpson) but my dad refused to accept me and it was also the same time my parents were going through a nasty divorce. He treated me bad enough that I didn't want to carry on his legacy. I chose another name in the family though but on my mother's side.

I like your name Darius. However, your middle and last names together make me think of an Indian dish that would have me in the bathroom all night. 

[DeeW]

Sometimes I think about it but I haven't decided anything yet. It is a sore spot for me to think of teacher calling me "Miss (last name)" and having that connotation attached to my last name. It's just another reminder of a part of me I want to get rid of. And I don't feel a lot of ties to my family, I'm quite the black sheep and that's not even considering anything trans.
Apparently my family's surname before being Americanized was Von Weimar. So I guess I'd use that if I wanted to change(or my mom's last name). I would want to verify it somehow, one of my aunts found it out but I'm not sure how. I like it more than my current sur name, I mean who wouldn't want to read a book by Mason von Weimar?

[Nero]

I had a difficult time with this too. I know a lot of people seem to place importance of family acceptance or family pride on their surname, but this had nothing to do with my decision. My father accepts me. I'm sure he wished I hadn't transitioned, but he has accepted it and treats me the same he always has. I have pride in my roots. It pained me to change the name. But it has made my life easier.

Like Justin21, my old surname was exceedingly rare and all but like one individual in the country are related to me. (My grandfather contacted this individual who appears to be no relation, but we were kind of puzzled by it. Our surname was a complete bastardization of the original). Anyway, the name would have very easily outted me. Stealth was very much a concern at the time.

I thought about just picking some name or word I liked as a surname. Something that sounded good with my chosen first name. But it just seemed contrived. I ended up choosing a common surname belonging to a dead friend. It means a lot to me. But I'm not used to it so much yet. That weird and unpronounceable old surname was part of my identity. Though life is much easier without spelling and sounding it out repeatedly to everyone I meet. It feels strange to have such an easy name everyone immediately gets.
I wonder if this has anything to do with why I chose a weird first name over the male name I would have been given at birth (which I also liked very much). After a lifetime of having such a weird and distinct calling card and dealing with it everyday - I probably would not feel like myself with two normal names. 

So yeah the surname was the toughest on me and a bittersweet decision.

I kind of like 'Darius Gray' just as is with no surname. Sounds like a good actor name to me. Angelina Jolie gets by with just her first and middle.
As an actor, you need something both memorable and easy to google. Can't be too common. And you're right, you probably should avoid the name of a well-known actor. Not to mention 'Darius Gray Curry' is  a mouthful and not too 'phonetic' or whatever the word is. You need something with ring to it.
Good luck and keep us posted!

[Jeatyn]

I actually went through two legal name changes. I changed it the first time to a similar version of my first birth name and completely changed the second name - this was before I figured out I was trans. Then I did it the second time to change the first name to something male and I kept the surname I had chosen.

I always hated my birth name, it never ever felt like me and just made me cringe whenever I heard any part of it so it was an easy decision to change it.

I love my current name, it's cool and nerdy in a not-so obvious way - it's the surname of a popular game character, but people who aren't fans don't realise - it's unusual but not so much that it makes people think I wasn't given it at birth.

[Sarah Blomsterhatt]

I've kept my last name. Because my last name is something that I'm proud of, I'm proud of being part of this great family. So for me it was never up for debate, I don't see anything that would make me change my last name.

[mangoslayer]

I kept my last name because i transitioned young and there was really no reason to change it. It's in the top 10 most common names so i dont think i'll be connected to my transition from my last name.
I'd say look back into your family history and pick one.

[Nero]

I actually went through two legal name changes. I changed it the first time to a similar version of my first birth name and completely changed the second name - this was before I figured out I was trans. Then I did it the second time to change the first name to something male and I kept the surname I had chosen.

I always hated my birth name, it never ever felt like me and just made me cringe whenever I heard any part of it so it was an easy decision to change it.

I love my current name, it's cool and nerdy in a not-so obvious way - it's the surname of a popular game character, but people who aren't fans don't realise - it's unusual but not so much that it makes people think I wasn't given it at birth.

Is it Jeatyn?

[Frank]

I don't really care one way or another about my current last name, it's short and sweet, but it's the kind people will remember, and a lot of people who have that name tend to be related (even if it's really, really distant.) I will probably change it to something more common since I don't want curious people following information back to family and thus, me.

[Jeatyn]

Is it Jeatyn?

Nah Jeatyn was going to be my first name I tried it out for about a week but it felt ridiculous and nobody could pronounce it properly. While I loved the idea of having a really weird name that nobody else would have or something from a different culture it would have made me stick out like a sore thumb.

Didn't stop me from giving my daughter a Japanese name though

[Adio]

I changed my last name.  I am not close with my father and really want nothing to do with him.  So I had no problems changing it.  My mom is also well known locally by both her current last name and maiden name.  My first name is the masculine form of my birth name.

So because I didn't want to be frequently outed based on those two facts, I changed my last name to my grandma's maiden name.  I absolutely love it and will never change it again.  People comment on it in a positive way, I like the way it looks and sounds, I feel like it flows well with the rest of my name.  One of the best decisions I've made in my transition.  Having a different last name has allowed me to remain stealth rather well.

[FTMDiaries]

When I got married (back in the 1990s) I couldn't wait to get rid of my 'maiden' name because my father had abandoned me when I was a child, so I happily took Hubby's surname.

Fast-forward to last year, when I told Hubby that I'm trans. He couldn't deal with it and told me that if I transition he'd divorce me. Well, fine. If he won't keep me, I won't keep his name.

So I thought long & hard about what to change it to. I eventually settled on going back to my 'maiden' surname because it used to belong to me and I do still feel an affinity for it in spite of my father. I also changed my first names to the names my parents had originally picked out for me (they thought they were expecting a boy: how right they were!).

[Seb]

I am also changing my last name, mainly because I have zero connection to the family that gave me it (my step father's surname).