Chilluns

[Subject37]

Hrm, this is more out of general interest more than anything. I'm a gay transguy, and even though I don't plan on having kids in the future (10+ years), we never know.

So, if you were to have kids, (adoption, artificial insemination, whatever), would you tell them that you have undergone transition?

A friend of mine has a dad who gave birth to her, but hasn't undergone SRS, so she's always known. I don't think I'd want my possible kid/s to know I wasn't born as the man I would be by then.

[AdamMLP]

I don't think I'd sit down and tell them but I wouldn't hide it, or be out about it either. Having things hidden from me as a kid really messed me up so I wouldn't want to do that to my kid, but I wouldn't want to out myself to who ever they decided to tell that their dad doesn't have a penis either. I think I would just take things as they came and see where I am in life then. Obviously it depends on what my girlfriend would feel too, and it's going to be a long time before that topic comes up in all seriousness for us probably. Although maybe not as long as I think as she's 20 already.

[Simon]

I really don't know. I think I'd have to play that one by ear. I think on one hand it would be nice to never have to tell anyone ever again, be it my future child or anyone else.

However, that would mean keeping my future child away from any and all relatives of mine that know for fear that they might find out. Then the kid misses out on knowing a lot of their family just to keep "daddy's secret".

I don't think that would be best for the child so I would probably inform them once they were at an age that they could process it (and not scream in the grocery store, "my daddy was once a girl", lol).

It'll be whatever is best for the child and I don't think raising them knowing that they live in an open diverse family is a bad thing.

[FTMDiaries]

Of course I'd tell them. I'm very honest with my kids so I've told them far more than they ever wanted to hear. You should hear the story about how I blundered into explaining to my precious, innocent 12-year-old daughter what a 'bear bar' is. Now that was an awkward conversation. 

But I've always tried to wait until they're mature enough to deal with the information at hand. Parents need to judge this based on their own children because everyone's different, but I'd break this kind of news to my children no earlier than about 10 years of age.

I told my kids I'm trans when they were in their teens. But I'm pre-everything so they'd always presumed I'm female.

[Jeatyn]

I have a two year old and I'm going to have to tell her eventually. It worries me because I know she will be quite young when the inevitable question will come up -  "how come I have two daddys when my friends have a mummy and a daddy?" I don't want to lie to her and make her think some mysterious woman gave birth to her and handed her over to us.

Other people are easy to handle, when they ask where her mum is I just say she's my child from a previous relationship - which is true xD

It's a really tricky one, because you have to do it in such a way that explains how trans people are normal....but you should still keep it a secret 

I don't want her blurting out to everyone "daddy gave birth to me!"

[Ryan B.]

I would tell my kid(s).  Better to hear it from me than someone else in my opinion.

[Natkat]

I would tell them, first of all being honest is best for your kid, I grew up with my mom who wasnt honest with me, she keept alot of secrets about illness and other stuff and it just made me more worried than if she had been honest as I got to misunderstand things and started asuming the worst.
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also I want to learn them openmindness and fights, I want them to know being trans is not anything wrong or abnormal.

now being logical I dont think I might have the big chance of getting kids but this is just thoughts if..

[aleon515]

I know several trans guys with kids. They told their kids but with info they could handle a little at a time. They are going to find in some way or other and it would be better if they were told the truth anyway.

Someone here was writing a book, I hope they are still thinking of this. IT was something our group leader mentioned as being a really good idea. But afaik, there is not anything yet.

--Jay

[Zerro]

I don't think I could ever tell them if I chose to be a dad, really. It's of little importance to them if they're not ever going to be biologically mine. They can't inherit anything that will physically ail them from me, and I just want transition to be behind me. What my genitals may or may not have been shouldn't matter or be something I should talk about with them.