Quote from: Jamiep on July 31, 2013, 11:27:56 PM
Hi Mira! I have been meaning to respond to some of your posts that I have been following for quite a while now & considering your latest post this is probably a good time. All that you have shared here of your life, from drugs, multiple attempts at taking your life, your boyfriend that broke up with you & I think he has come back to you now, your transition and recent passing of your brother, that you are still alive, blows me away...YOU ARE A SURVIVOR GIRL! I am sure you feel proud that you mended your fences with your brother in his last days. I feel your loss. I think there is at the core of our mind an instinct to overcome our health problems & issues and survive. I had some childhood sicknesses that almost took my life, I take one day at a time as I think you do too, each new sunrise is a minor miracle for me, I know you feel blessed for each day as do I & that I have lived 72 years. We are SURVIVORS! You have to be Happy that you found Mira even later in life & have come through transition in fine health! Through all that you have been through your strength, courage & gorgeous heart is helping others in transition, bless you. The eras we have come through when it comes to fashion I sense we dress similar. I like how you dress & you have the slim figure for them. You look cis natural woman and look very BEAUTIFUL LADY! I sincerely mean Beautiful inside and out. I have been working with a gender Dr. since April for 7 weeks on Spiro but came off it due to high reading for my Kidneys. I see a Kidney specialist today & my Endo in mid month, so by the end of the month I will know what the verdict is re Estrogen. My sense is that at my age my body doesn't have the ability to handle chemical warfare safely. I thought I would see if I could do partial transition on hormones only, so I am adjusted, understanding & accepting a no go. I will just dress when I can for the Lady that I am in my brain. No pity party. I am amazed in all that I have learned about me and lived as Jamie for the last 12 years. Life is AWESOME, I love my life & hope to have quite a few years ahead. Mira, you are a treasure & we are better for having you as a friend here. I greatly respect & Love you hun. I look forward to seeing more of you posting & communicating here. I am sure we are both HAPPY! Maybe we should start and Octogenarian section lol.
Hi Jamie,
I'm so sorry to hear about your kidney problems and possibly not being able to get back on estrogen, but you look much younger than your stated age and very female. Honestly, I thought you were about my age. Thank you for your kind words about my brother and compliments about me, my tastes in clothes and my passing as a woman. I hope when I finally pass (away, lol) it will still be on estrogen, as a woman and in the clothes that I love. I was reluctant to post the one earlier today, but I had an itch in my panties I couldn't scratch, so I got bitchy! I do believe there are some women who should be open and political and others who shouldn't. I shouldn't. I've got too many really bad and sometimes frightening health problems, and like you, some have been and will always continue to be life threatening. My first time I nearly died I was twenty, two days after my first pro motocross race, when I suffered a really hard crash, but got up and finished and actually won some money. Two days later I was playing basketball between classes in college and I started getting a terrible pain in my left arm that went up into my neck and left chest. I thought I was having a heart attack and fell out. They took me to the hospital and my lung had collapsed. It got much worse later in the day though, because I got air in the pericardium, the sac around my heart and it's been damaged ever since. I almost died from a heart infection over the next few days. I actually did die once from a heroin overdose, but my future ex wife started going crazy on the paramedics after they declared me dead and called the coroner. They gave me another I.V. shot of narcan, a shot of adrenaline in my heart and I came to, vomiting all over the kitchen floor. It was a great day. I didn't see any light. I didn't see anything. I've finallly found a huge measure of peace I never dreamed I would and I can't go back, though, even if my health suffers in the future over my use of estradiol and spiro. I'd truly rather die than go back to living my life as a male impersonator, it was slow death for me, even when I tried to make it quicker. I wrote a long, crazy but completely true post late last night and this morning, but the Lord works in mysterious ways, and my computer ate it before I could post. Right after it happened I thought of one of the last lyrics of one of Dylan's best songs, "It's Alright Ma, (I'm Only Bleeding)"
"And if my thought-dreams could been seen
They'd probably put my head in a guillotine
But it's alright, Ma, it's life, and life only."
I still worry for my sanity once in awhile, but only between the times I know I'll always still be crazy. Jamie, thank you again for your kindness, especially about my brother, it's sooo appreciated. By the way, I really do find it hard to believe you're anywhere near 72!!! Hugs, Mira
